nobody to turn to.

Femelade

i cant talk to people, i dont know how to talk to people. i need to talk to someone, but i just bottle things up until i get so depressed i want to die. i get so lonely and feel i cant go on. there's one particular thing i am bottling up, i have told only one person but its eating me up inside and making me a very bitter person towards everone around me, mostly my family.
i hate my life, and sometimes i feel like i hate everyone around me. and even though i know i should talk to someone i cant...i dont think anyone could help me at this stage.
there is only one person i am living for at the moment and its not myself.
i am constantly holding back the tears. constantly.

this is just a rant....
just needed to get that out.

Gilgamesh

Ah, femmy, surely it isn't that bad.
I mean, you make a good impression on boards, maybe writing here about it would help.
I know the feeling though, I myself have only about 4 people I spill my heart out to, but I seem to process issues very fast and then move on.
Have you tried talkig to other people about this matter, or don't you just dare to, as in you get a lump in your throat when you try to?

jcoote

its never that bad!! u sound like your just in a rut and need to talk...there's a load of people u can talk to even though u don't think u can...trust me once u start talking you'll wonder why u didn't do it years ago!!! try telling that person u told more stuff or if u can face it your GP is always a good place to start!! hope things get better for ya

Femelade

well if i talk to anybody else about this certain thing , it could really cause some trouble. i'd rather keep it to myself than to have anyone have to deal with it. its better this way but its alot to carry.
its not even that, that gets me down, its life in general and the lonliness. the lonliness is the worst feeling ever and its doesnt seem to be going away.

tirl

no point in telling u it's not that bad, when to you it seems like that, but if you feel you can't tell someone you know whats wrong try ringing the samaratins and telling a complete stranger what is on your mind, it may make things clearer

Beruthiel

Femmy wrote:

well if i talk to anybody else about this certain thing , it could really cause some trouble..

why not spill your guts here, maybe we can help

galwaydude

femmy if you feel uncomfortable about saying whats bothering you here, then why not call the samartians.

Do u have any family member that you can confide in and that will be discrete.

Femelade

its my family i'm keeping it from, it would destroy them. and ruin everything for everyone then everyone will be going around feeling like i do, so i'd rather spare them the hassle.
i'm not normally as depressed as this, i can usually hide it well, just this past weekend has been an especially difficult one reguarding matters of the heart with some ex's that seemed to all crop up on the same weekend.

dahamsta

You can either tell them or you can't. Pick a path, resign yourself to it, move on.

Baz_

This may seem a little extreme, but a lot of people find it extremely liberating to move away from there family, to another part of the country or indeed even a different country altogether.

Obviously I don't know what your problem is, but this would have the benefit of allowing you the space to live your life the way you want to, be open and honest with anyone you wanted to, and grow comfortable with whatever the issue is, and when you grow comfortable enough tell your family about it.

It's a huge step to take, but its also a very positive one.

kawaii

Beruthiel wrote:

why not spill your guts here, maybe we can help

Yeah, it's not like we're gonna tell your family. Were just a bunch of (sympathetic, caring, concerned) geeks...

It's your choice, tho. Don't feel like we're pushing you.

Femelade

a family member uses boards so i cant post it here, i'll get over it.
thanks every1 for your advice, greatly appreciated.

kawaii

U could pm...

Nevermind. Hopefully, in the run of time it'll become irrelevant. Good look getting over it.

Dan

scojones

Femmy wrote:

a family member uses boards so i cant post it here, i'll get over it.
thanks every1 for your advice, greatly appreciated.

Post anonymously then.

kawaii

sjones wrote:

Post anonymously then.

Touché

*Why didn't I think of that?*

Edit: that probably wouldn't work. Her family member might recognise her situation and the fact that she's already posted this thread doesn't help...

nesf

Talk to your GP if you haven't already.

nobodythere

Femmy wrote:

i cant talk to people, i dont know how to talk to people. i need to talk to someone, but i just bottle things up until i get so depressed i want to die. i get so lonely and feel i cant go on. there's one particular thing i am bottling up, i have told only one person but its eating me up inside and making me a very bitter person towards everone around me, mostly my family.
i hate my life, and sometimes i feel like i hate everyone around me. and even though i know i should talk to someone i cant...i dont think anyone could help me at this stage.
there is only one person i am living for at the moment and its not myself.
i am constantly holding back the tears. constantly.

this is just a rant....
just needed to get that out.

I know how you feel, but you have to get it out. You REALLY have to get it out. Or it will DESTROY you. Believe me, I have lost my best friend acting like an absolute díck, not knowing I was acting like one until after my actions and then trying to explain them to myself and work out my reasoning. I still find it very hard to talk about, and often find that I lie to myself and convince myself of things that I know on some level aren't true.

If your situation is anything like mine, you need to make some time by yourself away from your problem and get it all out for yourself before you can ever talk to anyone else.

nesf

grasshopa wrote:

I know how you feel, but you have to get it out. You REALLY have to get it out. Or it will DESTROY you. Believe me, I have lost my best friend acting like an absolute díck, not knowing I was acting like one until after my actions and then trying to explain them to myself and work out my reasoning. I still find it very hard to talk about, and often find that I lie to myself and convince myself of things that I know on some level aren't true.

If your situation is anything like mine, you need to make some time by yourself away from your problem and get it all out for yourself before you can ever talk to anyone else.

Same happened to me mate. It wasn't very bright of me to go off meds and stop attending therapy for 2 years. Not very bright at all.

Took me losing almost all of my friends to get me back into therapy.

*shrugs*

I was a stupid 20 year old with an invincibility complex. etc etc.

Civilian_Target

Yeah - most people get this at some point in their lives, I'm told. Tell the Samartains, go to your GP, all these people are professionals, they'll have good solid advice for you and they'll do a good job of listening (and you don't even have to pay the Samartains) and obviously will keep your details confidential.

There's no shame in reaching out - we're only human and can't operate alone.

dahamsta

I don't subscribe to this totalitarian "a problem shared is a problem halved" rubbish at all. Some problems are better shared, some are better kept to yourself. I've had my arse in a sling many times because I couldn't keep my feelings to myself when I should have. And vice versa.

adam

Nickibaby*

I think that you should go to your gp and explain to him how you are feeling. He will refer you to a counseller or a phychiatrist.

Bottling your feelings up and pretending that they will go away wont help. It will only eat you up inside and make you bitter depressed.

If you ever feel like talking it over with somebody you can always pm me, I wont be judgemental or critisize. Here to listen if you need it.

Take care of yourself,

Nicki

skywalker

Femmy wrote:

a family member uses boards so i cant post it here, i'll get over it.
thanks every1 for your advice, greatly appreciated.

Youve already posted this thread though? surely you thought of that before posting this.

Femelade

skywalker wrote:

Youve already posted this thread though? surely you thought of that before posting this.

i havent mentioned exactly why i'm feeling this way.

Beruthiel

well if your family member is reading this
won't they ask?

Femelade

Beruthiel wrote:

well if your family member is reading this
won't they ask?

i'm hoping they dont know my handle.

nobodythere

Is it that they'll figure out that it's you if you post anonymously through the actual content of your post? Maybe write it down, change any minor details that would make them suspicious, wait a bit and then post it anonymously in PI? For some reason it sounds like you're afraid to even post it on the net for something more than the possibility of your family finding out.

[Jackass]

I suspect this is (and i hate using the word, i wish there was a better one) a cry for help?

There's absolutely nothing wrong with that at all if it is, maybe you would prefer somebody to go to you to see if your OK rather than you having to seek help. So maybe you could clarify that so that if a family member does see this, they would know how to react.

But you've just got to lose your fear. I believe 99% of problems in the world are out of fear. Afraid of being alone, afraid of not sucseeding, afraid of rejection...whatever it may be, and the more you think about it, the more it eats you up...i know, i've been there, and i can absolutely relate to anybody who has deep personal problems, and it's a difficult time.

I'll give you some good advice...this is what helped me.
Don't be afraid of having problems.

You don't have to have the solution tomorrow, and it can take time for you to sort things out in your head, or just to heal from trauma, or regain your confidence from depression. But trust me, it will all come together eventually as long as you don't try to force it. Just remian positive in your mind, and more than anything, be honest with yourself. As soon as you can acknowledge your problem, you can start to deal with it. And by that i mean let it all out....honestly, you say your always fighting back the tears...why? Don't fight it, untill you can let it out, confront it, and resolve it, it will take so much longer to go away.
Don't worry what anyone thinks, fight for yourself, you've got to get fed up with feeling this way, and decide to attack it!
Go to a counceler, cry your eyes out, talk about it, get advice from someone you never have to see again in your life should you chose not to.

Really try to get yourself motivated....it dosen't have to be right now...it dosen't have to be next week, but make a decision in your life, that when your ready, your going to take this on, and prepare yourself mentally untill you feel ready, and that alone will give you something positive to focus on, and also something really big to look forward to when you finally defeat this problem that has botherd you.

Good luck, i know it'll work out for you, just relax, be positive, and focus on the good, and look forward to beating the bad, and take everything at your own pace, and don't worry about anyones opinions or problems other than your own.

gubby

thanks dubguy for that wonderful advice to femmy.

My one wish is to be able to give my daughter femmy a hug, and get one back. I know she will not talk to me but there is help available if she wants it. We all love you so much femmy.
__________________
Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body but rather to skid in sideways shouting....'HOLY S***, WHAT A RIDE!'

Baz_

busted!

galwaydude

at least now they can try and resolve their differences.

Beruthiel

gubby wrote:

thanks dubguy for that wonderful advice to femmy.

My one wish is to be able to give my daughter femmy a hug, and get one back. I know she will not talk to me but there is help available if she wants it. We all love you so much femmy

gubby banned

we do not appreciate trolls in this forum who think they are funny
b

galwaydude

after checking, maybe not sorry ruth

Beruthiel

femmy
I would like to point out the following:

you posted this thread here
you knew that there is a chance that someone in your family will see it and still you posted it.
It doesn't take a genius to work out that you do need to talk to your family but haven't worked up the courage yet and are hoping that they will give you a push to spill your guts.
I am telling you now to TELL them, they are your family, they love you, no matter what it is or how bad it is, they will still love you.
You will feel better for telling them

Beruthiel

gubby unbanned
cos
ermm,
she is femmy's ma!! :eek:

galwaydude

excellent advice ruth,hopefully now femmy will take heed

shellby

really.....wow!!

thats cool i hope Femmy can now tell her whats on her mind but if she still feels that she can't feel free to PM me i'm not a professional and can't offer any advice but if you need someone to talk to i have no prblem being that person

Baz_

Beruthiel wrote:

gubby unbanned
cos
ermm,
she is femmy's ma!!

rofl!

Femelade

thanks every1.