Losing your virginity???

Chilled05

Just wondering what people think about losing their virginity.Should it be with someone you really care about and love?Or do people agree that its alright to sleep with someone you dont know that well?Do people think its right to wait for marriage?

I am personally undecided on which option is the best to follow and was just wondering for some outlook on the issue.
Thanks

scojones

I waited until I was in love, and it was the best decision. I've talked with some of my friends, who lost it on a one night stand, and they hate thinking about it.

I'm happy with the decision I made.

Rabies

Its different for everyone. Either way its your choice.

Femelade

i was drunk, i only remember his name. tbh i'm not bothered by it

Victor

At least let it be someone you know, like socially and both of you are at least 17.

TheDoc

omg i just stumbled across this board you people talk about this **** online to strangers, erm you could lose oyur virginity faster if you like didnt post here?

Nevyn

You just stumbled on this part of boards and yet you have a derogatory
comment about it in your Sig.
I suggest you go read the Charter
or you will end up banned.
Have a nice day,
Thaed

RopeDrink

omg i just stumbled across this board you people talk about this **** online to strangers, erm you could lose oyur virginity faster if you like didnt post here?

Don't worry Thaed, s/he has already ranted in a few other PI thread in regards to how OUTRAGEOUS it is for people to voice their problems and opinions online, which is rather pethetic.

In regards to the Virginity issue, I also waited until I was in a relationship before allowing anything to happen, and it certainly was a lot better than if I had lost it to a random one night stand. It's something I was far more comfortable about, anyhow.

That aside, it's your choice how you go about the issue. Afterall, as stated before, everybody feels different about it.

Jonny Arson

sjones wrote:

I've talked with some of my friends, who lost it on a one night stand, and they hate thinking about it.

Ditto.

Wait to you find someone who you genuinely care about.

Flashling

But what if you don't find someone you care about? As in, ever? Like if you're just not attracted to anybody? Oh, and Chilled05, are you a teenager?

Victor

Flashling wrote:

But what if you don't find someone you care about? As in, ever? Like if you're just not attracted to anybody?

Eventually you become desparate enough to care.

Flashling

Good to know.

rainbow kirby

It feels like a big deal at the time... but when you look back it's really not. I lost it on a one-night stand when I was 19... doesn't bother me.

Tiffany

Is virginity really important? Before, people got married at a young age and lost their virginities to their husband/wife, and it was never intended for them to have sex with anyone else in their lifetime and to be fully committed.
But things have changed now. People aren't tied down to the one person, so virginity isn't really an issue when you have sex before marriage and sleep with different people. Virginity is an old term that doesn't really apply in this day and age unless you're religiously devoted.
All it means now is your "first time", so even if your first time is a disaster, you'll have other times ahead of you. When you've slept with a number of people, if you've had a worthwhile experience then there's no point in lingering on your first time, because first is just an order in a line.

Femelade

okay after reading the posts after my own, i do regret it now. yeah i wish it was wit some1 i knew and more personal. feck it anyway.

dahamsta

It works both ways. I lost my virginity to someone I was absolutely mad about, but I reckon I'd have had a lot easier time of it emotionally if it had never happened, and I'd been with someone I didn't care so much about. (Not didn't care about at all, just not so much.) It can create a "school sweethearts" type bond, and that can often be quite unhealthy in the long run.

adam

Bamby21

I lost mine at 18 to someone i cared about at the time which i thought was important at the time, but looking back its not that big a deal but i suppose like everything else its a big deal at the time no matter how many times others tell ya its not. :eek:

spooiirt!!

I lost mine at 19 to some girl i barely knew. It was acheingly boring. She was cute but I wasnt attracted to her at all. It just seemed like there was nothing else for the two of us to do that night. Dont regret it, but dont really cherish the memory . In fact i have no feelings about the event.

kawaii

I don't see the point in sex with someone you don't know/love.

Really don't see it...

Bamby21

Well it feels good (at least it shud) so that wud be one reason.

Dave

Meh, we were both virgins. I was 18 it was terrible, she thought so too. She was my gf at the time so things improved from then on though. The general consensous between everyone that I know is that your first time is pretty much forgettable.

kawaii

Bamby21 wrote:

Well it feels good (at least it shud) so that wud be one reason.

So does masturbating.

dahamsta

kawaii wrote:

I don't see the point in sex with someone you don't know/love.

That's like saying "I don't see the point of chocolate cake* when I can just have chocolate". Sex with someone you don't love certainly isn't as intense as sex with someone you do, but it's still pleasurable. If it isn't, you're doing it wrong. In some ways it can be more fun in the short term because experimentation has less strings attached. (Note emphasis.)

adam

* Or, in the case of masturabation, a Mars Bar.

Eoin Madsen

Chilled05 wrote:

Just wondering what people think about losing their virginity.Should it be with someone you really care about and love?Or do people agree that its alright to sleep with someone you dont know that well?Do people think its right to wait for marriage?

I am personally undecided on which option is the best to follow and was just wondering for some outlook on the issue.
Thanks

You really need to decide for yourself, and try not to let your feeling on the subject be biased by anyone else. Some people only want to have sex with someone special to them, others don't attach any more significance to sex than they would to a kiss. What does it mean to you?

To be realistic about it, the concept of virginity is an abstraction - it's just sex, whether you've done it before or not. Having sex with someone, whether you love them or not, will not spoil any future relationship - it won't diminish your capacity to love, or the perfection of that love, nor will it affect the other persons love for you or potential to love you. It wouldn't be love if it did.

StonedParadoX

is it me or when a troll comes in and preaches crap it totally changes the mood of the whole topic?

i lost my virginity to a one night stand you could say
for the while i thought kewl iv lost my virginity no need to worry now

but hey i think i should of waited

irlirishkev

It's just sex tbh.. I don't see what the big deal is.

I lost my virginity when I was 19. It was at a party in my gaff. I'd only met her a couple of days before. It was fumbly and awkward, but it was fun. That's the whole thing. Sex is fun. If someone wants to wait till they get to know a person better, then bully for them, but for me, it's not such a big milestone that you have to lead up to. Think Nike. Just do it!

K.

StonedParadoX

i think i was 15.. i was well too young

love your quote kev

Nevyn

But remember to play Safe.

irlirishkev

Thaed wrote:

But remember to play Safe.

Absolutely.

Babes/05

I lost mine when I was fourteen with a boy who I thought loved me but Duh!!! was only using me he had me fooled for six months and then after i slept with him he dumped me. Ah well thats life!!! I got over it

pretty-in-pink

I'd count my first time as a seperate issue to my virginity. One was when I was a scared young teenager, the other a loved-up young adult. I wish that I'd done more to prevent the first time, so that my it could have happened at the same time as losing my virginity. However, such is life. I love sleeping with my fella, we are very deeply in love - even when we fight, we don't want to lose eachother- and I can never picture lust comparing to love.

Anyway, my opinion, it's much better when you're in love, it's deeper, it means something, it's an emotional, spirtitual and physical connection- as opposed to a release of sexual tension with someone you'll probably never respect or be respected by.

Talliesin

Dave wrote:

The general consensous between everyone that I know is that your first time is pretty much forgettable.

My first time was with someone older and more experienced who knew what he was doing (good knowledge of erotic massage and tantric energy) and enjoyed making the use of that knowledge with young innocent me As such, it was pretty mind-blowing

However, The only time I was someone else's first time I wasn't that much more experienced than that (indeed she was my first female partner) so I don't think she had as mindblowing an experience with me as I did with that guy, sorry to say. Still, there was an emotional involvement in that case, which I hope meant it wasn't completely crap.

Chilled05 wrote:

I am personally undecided on which option is the best to follow and was just wondering for some outlook on the issue.

A big thing here is why are you concerned about this now? (Presuming it's not just making an S&S question look like a PI question because you don't have access to S&S...)

Are you in a relationship and you are thinking of making it sexual? Are you feeling a bit frustrated or unhappy with being a virgin? Are you finding a previous commitment to the idea of not having pre-marital sex?

Since there is no right answer to your question, finding the right answer for you requires an examination of what the whole question means to you?

Dave

Talliesin wrote:

My first time was with someone older and more experienced...

Well to be fair everyone that I mentioned above would be in the same boat as their respective partner. Either inexperienced or no experience (in the case of my partner and I).

Talliesin

That has its advantages too. In particular, one has to be more careful about the motives of someone who is considerably more experienced (and yeah, he probably liked shagging freshers, though I wasn't complaining).

Sleepy

My first time was a pretty forgettable drunken fumble on Salthill beach with a girl I'd just met in a nightclub that night. Neither of us climaxed and all in all it was a pretty dull experience (apart from the "woohoo, I'm having sex!" factor).

The next time was with my first long-term girlfriend in first year of college. She was quite a bit more experienced than I was and it was mind-blowing, multiple mutual orgasms etc.

I'd probably prefer if my second had been my first but tbh, it doesn't really bother me because it still happened and was still an amazing experience.

pigeonbutler

I was well impressed with my, quite recent, first time. It was on holidays with a gorgeous Swedish girl. Only bad thing about it was that we were in a tiny dark little tent so physically speaking it was a little awkward. I'd met her the night before and she shared my bed for three nights until we both had to go home. Waking up beside her was a brilliant feeling. Although it wasn't with a girlfriend it was probably the next best thing because I was mad about her and it wasn't just a one night thing. We're staying in touch too and Ryanair have cheap flights to/from Stockholm these days so how knows!!

It was on a big european festival thing so I could have gone out there setting out to get my leg over with someone and would have had success but that wasn't how I played it at all. Things just happened like they did. Which is probably the best advice for the OP. If things just lead that way with a gf then brilliant, if it's circumstances like mine at least be (relatively) sober and let it be AT LEAST the second time you're with the person so as you're sure there's an attraction and it's not just beer goggles/end of night desperation.

Like I said waking up beside her was the best feeling. I'm sure that wouldn't be the same if you wake up thinking "Jaysus, I wasn't THAT drunk, was I?"

elephamt king

Thaed wrote:

But remember to play Safe.

on this thought id like to add that something i heard somewhere and i think is pretty fair is you know your old mature enough to do it when you or your bf/gf (or both) can walk into your local chemist and purcahse or enquire about condoms(or any method of contraception) without feeling awkward.

so thats my two cents.

Nightwish

personally I wouldnt have liked my first time to have been with a stranger. I lost my virginity when I was 17 to my boyfriend of 2 years. We were both virgins-it was pretty sh!te but at least we could laugh about it together and I didnt feel cr@p about it being cr@p

rick_fantastic

i lost mine when i was 15. i "thought" i was in love but in reality i was just a bag of raging hormones.....

it was fun tho spending the summer figuring out the ins and outs of sex.

THE FAN

Sleepy wrote:

My first time was a pretty forgettable drunken fumble on Salthill beach with a girl I'd just met in a nightclub that night. Neither of us climaxed and all in all it was a pretty dull experience (apart from the "woohoo, I'm having sex!" factor).
.

When I was 17 I passed out I was that drunk in eammon dorans so girl took advantage of me the cow . Still though befor i passed out I got that deadly I'm getting my rocks type feeling. Although I was wearing my lab coat at the time which to be honest I wish I had on video because it would have been so funny to watch back.


Also on the topic of sex dont ever use the Durex Tingle condoms or ever ever use teh Play Lube Tingle its like having your genitils set on fire with petrol we actually had to stop having sex and shower to make it stop NASTY!!! But outragously funny to look back on great story when told in full!!!
Theres my bit of advice.

either way sex is sex had the random sex and the "deep meaningful" sex either one has its up sides and down, deep meaningful sex usually takes ages to happen which is frustration as hell but can be great.

All in all it just depends on the momnet and the person to weather its good or if its **** how quick you can come to get your two cents and feck the rest!

Jonny Arson

elephamt king wrote:

on this thought id like to add that something i heard somewhere and i think is pretty fair is you know your old mature enough to do it when you or your bf/gf (or both) can walk into your local chemist and purcahse or enquire about condoms(or any method of contraception) without feeling awkward.

so thats my two cents.

Good point. Once you and your g/f or b/f are completely confortable with anything such as that you're definitely mature and ready for it.

Even though I'm not in a relationship I feel so awkward buying condoms for some strange reason. :eek:

Shellie13

More hurtful if its someone you love and then ye split... I say someone random-just safely etc...

Muineach

I lost mine to a girl i was in love with, but it happened one night after a huge row (she slapped me etc), ended up sleeping together that night, i regretted that it happened like that wasnt emotional at all, just running through the motions i still remember what she said to me that night in bed "get to it".
So even if you lose it with someone you love theres no gurantee that it'll be and better/worse with a random person.

Thats my 2 cents anyway
Muin

trishw78

sjones wrote:

I waited until I was in love, and it was the best decision. I've talked with some of my friends, who lost it on a one night stand, and they hate thinking about it.

I'm happy with the decision I made.

To be honest I lost my in a one night stand and I don't regret it In fact I thought he was the best I've every had sex with so far... I do remember his name and infact were good friends and I see him everyday at work...

But each person is different and it's never like you imagined you'll know when the time is right for you...