2 shy and loner

blah-blah-blah

ok i am in college doing comp science was living in dub for the yr and have been back home now for the past 2 months. I am good at my course but the problem is that i am not very outgoing and i am shy and have few friends.

i am a virgin and haven't had a gf for a while so I am just looking for some advice.

amazingemmet

When you go back to college join ALL the societies that interest you slightly go to them and bob's your mothers brother you'll have a whole new social circle to hang around with

p~b

alcohol solves all your problems

blah-blah-blah

and what do i do go out by myself?

KTRIC

blah-blah-blah wrote:

and what do i do go out by myself?

That's not the best attitude to have. I used to go out by myself on the pull. Great fun , don't have to worry about competition. Been going out with my missus for 4 years now.

simu

blah-blah-blah wrote:

and what do i do go out by myself?

Nah - that can be a bit depressing imo. I know it's a cliché but you could join some society at college where you get talking to people whilst engaged in some other activity rather than just having to talk all the time.

And personally, I have to say that alcohol did help me overcome my shyness - you wouldn't want to go too far with it, though.

p~b

ask a few of the fellas from your college to go for a few beers

scojones

I had the same issue during first year in college. Trust me, when you go back, you'll make friends. It's how it happend to me. There will be alot of people in the exact same boat as you are now because the people they were mates with in first year will not have gotten through to second year. You'll be grand try not to worry too much. Just go in there in a good enough mood, and try to make conversation with people in the course. About absolutely anything, from "When should we have a class party", to "So are you joining any societies this year?". That will get the ball rolling, and you'll be fine. Trust me

Victor

p~b wrote:

alcohol solves all your problems

And gives you whole set of new problems. :rolleyes:

Moderation please.

Zillah

simu wrote:

Nah - that can be a bit depressing imo. I know it's a cliché but you could join some society at college where you get talking to people whilst engaged in some other activity rather than just having to talk all the time.

And personally, I have to say that alcohol did help me overcome my shyness - you wouldn't want to go too far with it, though.

Cliche my ass! Its good advice, thats why its so common a response.

In_the_sea

blabla..your not the only one....
I myself have a few friends... I am outgoing but come across as unusual to people or clingy..F9ck them i say!! u gotta just find friends suited to u! at the moment people who dont want to be your friend will never be proper friends no matter if u change urself to try and get along with them. If you are looking for advice on how to change ur way of going on, it aint gonna work. you gotta focus on finding friends who appreciate the real you! If they dont, yiz arent suited. Trust me, you will find friends who like u for who u are! everyone is likeable and found likeable by someone.
As for being a virgin, well i cant offer advice on that. We all get our fair share of rejection and sh*t. you just gotta have a cool attitude about it! :cool:
If it involves a bf or gf stay clear! Heartache aint worth it!

In_the_sea

by the way blah..going out is sh*te. its only meant for certain people..I drink at home and its better! Nothin beats vodka, a box of fags nice food and a good dvd.. Leave the snobz go out and "be cool man" lol :rolleyes:

garthv

In_the_sea wrote:

by the way blah..going out is sh*te. its only meant for certain people..I drink at home and its better! Nothin beats vodka, a box of fags nice food and a good dvd.. Leave the snobz go out and "be cool man" lol :rolleyes:

Not the best way to meet people though is it?
Joining a few societies is a great idea, not a college goer myself but ive been to a few society meeting (Juggling and whatnot) and they are always a great laugh, you meet loadsa new people too.

Gross Halfwit

Wear T-Shirts with band nems on them that you like. Someone will approach you. And away you go.

Find out when all the Art students are in the student bar and be there reading a realy intellectual book. They may ask your opinons on it etc.

As someone already said, join all the social clubs in College.

Buy two tickets to an upcoming gig, say that your 'mate' cant go and ask someone if they would like to join you? No pressure, just a gig. Make sure its something the other person likes.

Write 'Romans Go Home' on the school walls 10,000 times. It worked for Brian.

Just start talking to the people around you in college.

Learn off hundreds of jokes and pretend you are funny. People like funny.

Make friends with someone who has none like yourself. Join together and form a gang.

Go to Gigs. Pretend you are rock journalist and you want to get a few audience responses for your article. Dont fear rejection cause you are not being yourself.

Befriend Trolls on the net, they love attention.

These are just a few ideas. feel free to cherry pick.

In_the_sea

Ladz all that advice aint gonna work.Joining clubs and societies is cr*p!! if sum1 wants to b ur friend they will.. u cant make them! The worst thing about it is that going out to pubz only attracts ridicule. some horrible girl ridiculing you and judging u and ur only out for a laugh. harsh reality is going out is some times only about pulling!! Loads of w**kz go out! so try to be friends with them. all theyd do is avoid u if u started talking to u coz theyd think ur a sad loner!
hey im out so hows u u wanna be my friend?
ok(im gonna try and run away in 5 mins to go some where else)

MrPinK

In_the_sea wrote:

Joining clubs and societies is cr*p!! if sum1 wants to b ur friend they will.. u cant make them! The worst thing about it is that going out to pubz only attracts ridicule

So you're proposing staying in and waiting for potential friends to turn up at his door?

In_the_sea

sur better than agonizing dissapointment

dynasty crew

Move into a house with other people from your college, and anytime you have an assignment that you can do in pairs, do it in pairs.

WhiteWashMan

put up a post on the forum for your university and try and meet up with some boards.ie people.

and BAM!

instand drinking partners. ask them to bring along their friends.
and some women.

simu

In_the_sea wrote:

sur better than agonizing dissapointment

Yeah - Jehovah's Witnesses make such good friends. :rolleyes:

Kingp35

Simple solution to this problem.

Join a sports team. You will make lots of friends real fast and your social life will start from there.

Jonny Arson

WhiteWashMan wrote:

put up a post on the forum for your university and try and meet up with some boards.ie people.

and BAM!

instand drinking partners. ask them to bring along their friends.
and some women.

I can't believe I'm saying this but I actually agree with you there WWM! :eek:

The only logical way of meeting new people is getting involved in clubs/sports/classes etc. It's not like when you were a child or a teenager you would just make friends by playing football on the street, it's so hard to meet people let alone make friends with people at the 18+ age group.

I found it extremely difficult meeting people in college so I know how hard it can be to make new friends. Keep your head held high, be confident, get involved in things and friends will come your way but it is tough to make new friends so it will be a challenge but a challenge worth going for!

Firetrap

Even if you are shy, you are going to have to make an effort with people. When I started in college, I wouldn't say boo to a goose but HAD to strike up conversations with people or I'd never have made any friends. You'll be surprised - most people aren't adverse to making new friends. Those who don't really respond, they're not worth it anyway. I'd agree with the others - join some of the clubs and societies. Or maybe sign up for voluntary work. Bottom line is, you can't wait for the people to come to you

PrettyKitty

I totally understand where you are coming from. I have moved to a new country (originally from the UK) and had no friends at all. I started working and just made an effort to talk to everyone and then ask a couple of girls if they fancied a drink after work...

I also joined a pottery class and made the best mate ever there - you just don't know when you will meet the people who will become your friends. The bottom line is go places where you will meet people. Alcohol is no good if you want to meet 'mates' - join those clubs, etc....you will meet like minded people and have something to start off conversations. Good luck!

HashSlinging

Gross Halfwit wrote:

what he said

not such a half wit now

Tiffany

Most people are too shy to make friends from fear of being rejected. I had a similar problem in college... for the first month or so groups were forming and I wasn't a part of them because I was too shy to join in and I was afraid they'd think I was "invading their space", so to speak. I eventually said to myself it's now or never, so I went over to one of the groups that I thought I'd fit into and asked to sit down with them and they didn't mind at all. As a result I've made some great friends that I often hang out with outside college.

If people don't like you, well at least you've tried. You just have to try and fit in with everyone and you'll find people you'll relate to.