A sort of haiku

randomhuman · 30-07-2005 9:52am #1

Flourescent lights
on a plain white wall.
The water tastes like chemicals.

Le Rack · 30-07-2005 9:12pm

so what drugs you been takin?

randomhuman · 31-07-2005 9:36pm

I like them all, but this hasn't got anything to do with drugs.

BEAT · 01-08-2005 1:12pm

if you'd like it to be a 'sort of' Haiku then you should follow the rule of syllables:
5-7-5

randomhuman · 01-08-2005 8:29pm

Uh, yeah, that's why I said "sort of haiku" rather than just "haiku". For me, it's less about the rules (which are far from certain in English) and more about the image.

ctrl-alt-delete · 01-08-2005 8:39pm

i liked the image, fair play randomhuman

randomhuman · 02-08-2005 6:35pm

Why thank you muchly, ctrl-alt-delete.

pwd · 08-08-2005 1:04am

there's no kigo. Violating the syllable-structure is ok in English but you need a Kigo. Haikus have to be about nature. It's not a haiku.

It's good, but seems incomplete.

randomhuman · 08-08-2005 6:36pm

I am aware of the rules, thanks, I just don't give a ****.

De Mad Yoke · 08-08-2005 6:41pm

I want a cheese haiku or at least a stream of cheese poetry dammit!

Sorry.........

Cheese is great
Cheese is good
Cheese I ate
Cheese I would
Build my castle out of

thank you! I'm here till thursday! Try the steak!

Sarky · 08-08-2005 7:09pm

Yellow, but heated
Turns to the gold of autumn-
Tasty cheese on toast.

A sort of haiku

Comments