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Am I in love with a holiday love.

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  • 28-07-2005 12:02pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I an just back from holidays a week or so and I can't stop thinking about the girl I met over there.
    The problem is I have a girlfriend of 6 years here in Ireland. We have a good solid steady relationship bought a house recently and I am really happy.
    I have never done the dirt before.
    I went on holidays and met up with this girl from Scotland. I met her for about 4 nights. We didnt even kiss until the last day of my holidays but when we did it was fantastic. it was on the beach during sunrise.
    But now since I got back I cant stop thinking about her. I am wondering did I fall for her? I am so confused at the moment and I dont know what to do..
    My girlfriend would be heartbroken if she found out and I feel guilty over that but i dont regret been with the girl from scotland.
    What can I do....?????


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    #2
    fischerspooner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 387 ✭✭fischerspooner


    how old are you? buying a house with a girlfriend of 6 years sounds like pretty uninspiring stuff for a young man (assuming you're young). I'm 25 now and I would NEVER consider doing that for a long time. I've lived with a girl before and it made me realise that I don't want to do it again until I'm old enough and have everything else out of my system. Maybe you should ask yourself if you are ENTIRELY happy with your current girlfriend. Meeting this new girl probably made you aware that women are still attracted to you, not just your girlfriend, and maybe you need to get out and live a little. Maybe you need to break up wtih your girlfriend. A terribly hard thing to do and life altering, but I would admire you if you were brave enough to do it. Good luck.


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    #3
    chump
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,807 ✭✭✭chump


    fischerspooner wrote:
    ... but I would admire you if you were brave enough to do it. Good luck.

    That is one pretty solid reason to dump her, right there!

    You met a lass that got you excited and hot under the collar?

    Hardly surprising when you've been with the same lady for 6 years.
    You've a few options as I see it
    ...

    Dump your girl, go play ball with some other ones until you get bored, hopefully hook up with some1 you like as much as your current 1

    Stay with your girl and do the dirt

    Be honest with your girl that your eye is beginning to wander and suggest certain spices be added to your relationship

    Don't tell the girl, get over the bit of titallation and move on

    Don't tell the girl, but try your best to spice it up

    Don't listen to the lad above and do whatever you think is best


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    #4
    Squirrel
    Registered Users Posts: 2,376 ✭✭✭Squirrel


    fischerspooner wrote:
    how old are you? buying a house with a girlfriend of 6 years sounds like pretty uninspiring stuff for a young man (assuming you're young). I'm 25 now and I would NEVER consider doing that for a long time. I've lived with a girl before and it made me realise that I don't want to do it again until I'm old enough and have everything else out of my system. Maybe you should ask yourself if you are ENTIRELY happy with your current girlfriend. Meeting this new girl probably made you aware that women are still attracted to you, not just your girlfriend, and maybe you need to get out and live a little. Maybe you need to break up wtih your girlfriend. A terribly hard thing to do and life altering, but I would admire you if you were brave enough to do it. Good luck.

    If you listen to this guy you've been lying to yourself and your gf for the last 6 years.


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    #5
    shellby
    Closed Accounts Posts: 274 ✭✭shellby


    i severly doubt it's love you only knew her for 4 nights
    it seems to me that your not as happy as you claim to be in your current relationship but 6 years is alot to throw away
    IMO you should talk to your gf and tell her how you are feeling
    it could also be that you are reacting badly towards buying the house together
    you did cheat on your partner you need to address the issue before it happens again


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    #6
    fischerspooner
    Closed Accounts Posts: 387 ✭✭fischerspooner


    most young people who have been in a long term relationship since a young age ARE lying to themselves, as they never had the space to get to know themselves properly.


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    #7
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    you're in a relationship for six years and you still can't tell the difference between love and lust.
    you're kidding me, right? :/


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    #8
    shellby
    Closed Accounts Posts: 274 ✭✭shellby


    fischerspooner wrote:
    most young people who have been in a long term relationship since a young age ARE lying to themselves, as they never had the space to get to know themselves properly.

    i completely disagree with that statement

    and the OP has never said how old he is


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    #9
    Victor
    Registered Users Posts: 78,352 ✭✭✭✭Victor


    People are less inhibited on holiday and let their gaurd down. You made a mistake, move on.


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    #10
    secret_squirrel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭secret_squirrel


    downsides
    Ok she lives in Scotland - so instance long distance relationship - even if she is interested.
    Messy splitting up of house/possessions.
    Has she even tried to contact you?
    Holiday romances usually are infatuations in a carefree environment they very seldom last.

    upsides
    she makes you feel hot.

    Enjoy the moment whilst it lasted - now back to reality.

    If you are not happy with the current GF - thats a new issue altogether, just make sure you dont make a destroy a long term relationship over a holiday fling.


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    #11
    nedoo
    Registered Users Posts: 195 ✭✭nedoo


    I would say you should know what love is if have a common law wife!! The only reason you cant get her out of your head is because she was a bit of strange. The grass is always greener...etc. What would you be like if your partner found out about the holiday romance? If you had to sell everything and all that you know has changed? Would you miss your partner? Look at what you have, be thankful and take your current relationship seriously.


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    #12
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    Beruthiel wrote:
    you're in a relationship for six years and you still can't tell the difference between love and lust.
    you're kidding me, right? :/
    Beruthiel hit the nail on the head there.

    When you're on holiday, everything seems magical, blah blah. So you met some girl and you reckon it's love. Do you reckon you'd feel the same way if you met her in the supermarket or something? Hardly.

    Now, sort yourself out. And also, you should probably be telling your girlfriend too about what happened. At least give her the respect that she deserves like.

    Ask yourself how you would feel if she did the dirt on you? Or how would your life be without her in it? I think that'll answer your question on if you still love your girlfriend, and wanna throw her away for some fling you had on holidays.


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    #13
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    fischerspooner wrote:
    most young people who have been in a long term relationship since a young age ARE lying to themselves, as they never had the space to get to know themselves properly.

    Well I wouldnt say that i am that young... I will be hitting 29 this year
    Beruthiel wrote:
    you're in a relationship for six years and you still can't tell the difference between love and lust.
    you're kidding me, right? :/

    Well after 6 years been with the same woman it prob is lust.
    secret_squirrel wrote:
    downsides Ok she lives in Scotland - so instance long distance relationship - even if she is interested.
    Messy splitting up of house/possessions.
    Has she even tried to contact you?
    Holiday romances usually are infatuations in a carefree environment they very seldom last.

    upsides
    she makes you feel hot.

    Enjoy the moment whilst it lasted - now back to reality.

    If you are not happy with the current GF - thats a new issue altogether, just make sure you dont make a destroy a long term relationship over a holiday fling.

    Yes she sent me a text message yesterday

    I must agree with your upsides. It is prob the best advice yet.

    Also as victor stated I did let my guard down and I will have to move on...
    Thanks for all the replies so far..


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    #14
    secret_squirrel
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,357 ✭✭✭secret_squirrel


    dont know wrote:
    I must agree with your upsides. It is prob the best advice yet.

    :eek: Sounds like you have made your decision already - seems mad to throw away 6 years over a holiday fling - but thats your decision

    Good luck.

    Oh btw if you stay with the current GF - I totally disagree with what tinkerbell said about telling her - it will only hurt her and damage the relationship further. Be an adult and keep yer mouth shut.

    Another thought - presumably you were on hols with a mate who knows about the scottish girl - make sure what goes on tour - stays on tour.


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    #15
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    secret_squirrel wrote:
    :eek: Sounds like you have made your decision already - seems mad to throw away 6 years over a holiday fling - but thats your decision

    Good luck.

    Oh btw if you stay with the current GF - I totally disagree with what tinkerbell said about telling her - it will only hurt her and damage the relationship further. Be an adult and keep yer mouth shut.

    Another thought - presumably you were on hols with a mate who knows about the scottish girl - make sure what goes on tour - stays on tour.

    Well I cleared the air with my current GF. Had a big chat last night and I think it was all caused from the changes in my life in the last few months, (New house and all the adjusting goes with it). All is good again. The Scottish Lassie is still texting me and she is cool with been just friends. As for what happens on the tour, stays on the tour, No probs there. Its the Golden rule :).
    What i'm gonna do now is to forget what happened and learn from my mistakes. I just have to make sure that it wont happen again


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    #16
    LundiMardi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭LundiMardi


    dont know wrote:
    Well I cleared the air with my current GF. Had a big chat last night and I think it was all caused from the changes in my life in the last few months, (New house and all the adjusting goes with it). All is good again. The Scottish Lassie is still texting me and she is cool with been just friends. As for what happens on the tour, stays on the tour, No probs there. Its the Golden rule :).
    What i'm gonna do now is to forget what happened and learn from my mistakes. I just have to make sure that it wont happen again
    unfortunately it will happen again, sooner or later.


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    #17
    Shabadu
    Registered Users Posts: 7,659 ✭✭✭Shabadu


    Are you serious? You want to 'stay friends' with the woman you thought you were in love with yesterday? You need a hearty dose of cop-on imo.


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    #18
    Kingp35
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 12,264 Mod ✭✭✭✭Kingp35


    Shabadu wrote:
    Are you serious? You want to 'stay friends' with the woman you thought you were in love with yesterday? You need a hearty dose of cop-on imo.

    100% agree. I take it your current g/f doesnt know you cheated or if you did tell her she doesnt know that you are still in contact with the scottish.

    Mate im actually laughing at how little cop-on you have. If your staying with the g/f stop all contact with the scottish girl


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