a little early but..

Capt'n Midnight · 21-07-2005 12:27am #1

A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood, and parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and started hassling him about where he got it. He told them to leave him alone and let him get some sleep. However, they persisted until he finally gave in. "Okay, follow me," he said as he flapped out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed and all the other bats excitedly milled around him. "Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked. "YES, YES, YES!" all the other bats screamed in a frenzy. "Good," shouted the bat, "because I didn't!"

A man was walking home alone, late one night, when he hears a
Bump
Bump
Bump
Bump...........behind him walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright coffin
banging its way down the middle of the street towards him....
bump, bump, bump
Terrified, the man begins to run towards his home, the coffin bouncing
faster, faster, faster, faster
Bump, bump, bump
He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him
However, the coffin crashes through his door with the lid of the coffin clapping
clappity.....bump............clappity-bump...............clappity bump...........
on the heels of the terrified man.
Rushing upstairs to the bathroom the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding, his head is reeling, his breath is coming in sobbing gasps
With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the door...........bumping and clapping towards him
the man screams and reaches for something, anything ......... but all he can find is a bottle of
cough syrup
Desperate.............he throws the cough syrup at the coffin.
The coffin stops........................

One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as "Rocky" in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for more. "Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep several minutes ago?" I asked. "Yes," he replied, "but now I'm Rocky II and I'll be back three more times tonight too."