Relationship wobble?

LegacyUser

Right I'll just dive straight in because my head is a bit messed up (my brains are all over the wall!!!!!!) and would apprieciate a few opinions to help me kop on or see the light etc

Been going out with the gf for a few years.
She is on holiday with her friend (girl who is single) for a week in the sun, not something I have an issue with, its primarily that she decided she going on holiday with her friend and I didnt get a look in.

Money was bit tight for me, but she had decided already prior to knowning this. With that in mind, I kinda used, 'oh I dont have the money' to pass it off and help the fragile male ego save face.

Also another reason I didnt confront her, that I didnt want to seem like an ogre about the whole holiday thing. (Maybe I should have confronted her about the decision process as this is clouding my views and still hurt by it)

Now holiday was supposed to be relaxing holiday blah blah etc
She's only over there 2 days and already she's been to a club and out till 4:30am, not something I'm impressed with at all. Sounds like single holiday more like a girl in a relationship (Or am I being silly or still angry over decision and looking for conflict now)
Kinda have the feeling, right by all means go out and have few drinks hit the club, but whats the attraction for someone in a relationship to be there 4:30?
(is this Disrespectful/Weird or just being silly??)

Shes due to ring this evening
Thinking of letting it be and talking to her (btw would be mega pissed if she doesnt ring) but also thinking of telling not to bother ringing today cos not in happy camper mode! Confused and head spinning, would like an external neutral view to gather my thoughts and guide the path I take and help me out!
Ps over 23 by the way but sure people might think I@m being like 5 then again maybe not!

Sleepy

Is her friend single? She could just be there helping her friend pull.

And don't you occasionally go on the lash with the lads and end up out past 4 in the morning?

Beruthiel

well, first off, why did you not talk about these things with her before she went away, tis what grown ups do, no?
also, of course she went out on the piss, that's what holidays are for.
A couple of years back, my b/f couldn't go on hols with me because of family commitments at the time, so I went off to Prague for a week with my sister, we had a ball, went to a few clubs, stayed out till 4 in the morning drinking cocktails and at the same time managed to behave ourselves as we both had b/f's.
Don't you trust your g/f? if you don't, perhaps that's the issue you should be looking into...

Einstein

I'm with Ber on this one.
You need to chill out. If you're over 23 you def should have spoken to her about it if it bothered you.
I wouldn't advise saying anything about it to her over the phone, cos the last thing you need is to be fighting with you gf whos a thousand miles away, you'll definitly feel worse then. So say nothing, talk to her, tell her you hope she's having a good time, and deal with it when she comes home.

D..

LundiMardi

Don't piss her off, if she calls be nice, tell her that you miss her and love her. Don't let her hang up after an argument, cos who knows what will happen on her end then..

kasintahan

It's a sun holiday, yeah?

I don't know if you've ever been to the Medi/Canaries on a package holiday, but I'd be surprised if she wasn't out until 04:30 every night (morning).

That's what those kind of holidays are about, get up a 11:00am, get breakfast, hit the sunbeds/beach/cruise/mountains until 19:00ish, get lunch, get ready to go out, have dinner around 22:00 and hit the clubs at 23:30.

The clubs only get going around 00:00 (seriously, they are empty at 23:00).

Bed at 04:30 would be early.

tirl

seems like you have a trust issue........you surely didn't think she would go on holiday and be in bed by 10. would you? In fact i think she was doing well to be home by 4am lots of the clubs abraod don't start getting busy until well after midnight

Zulu

her friend may want to stay out, and she staying out to keep her company...

Dellgirl

well, first off, why did you not talk about these things with her before she went away, tis what grown ups do, no?

Agree.

You sound jealous that she is away having a great time without you. Do you expect her to go to her room every night after dinner and sit in cos your not there?
So she is off having a great time and gets the cold shoulder from you....which would probably put a damper on the holiday? Would you be happy then?
Grow up.

vibe666

my girlfriend once went out with a big group of lads and girls, and one of them told me 'don't worry mate you can trust us all with her' to which i replied 'i don't have to trust you, as long as i trust her, i'm fine'.

if you don't trust her then things might well get messy, and you could well end up pushing her into the arms of another man who's no doubt just waiting for some girl on the rebound.

Victor

Don't worry, shes probably just out drinking, dancing, enjoying herself and playing "wingman" for her buddy.

I was in the opposite position in Gran Canaria where I was chasing a woman with a boyfriend (my friend was inspecting her friends tonsils at the time, due to alcohol poisoning) and I got nowhere in 3-4 hours (it was a merry adventure :eek: ). So have some belief in her.

simu

Well, wait until she gets home before having any serious discussions with her - don't bring her down while she's on holidays. Also be aware thqat you are being irrational.

WhiteWashMan

i as out until 4am the other night, and im not single.

my partner was out with me.

does this make a difference if we were out together?

LegacyUser

Cheers Guys,

views seem to think I'm being silly. Reckon I'm still pissed off with the decision making process!
Just find the lack of contact quite disheartening, normal quite good at texting each other but her phone is off alot and texts sparce (then again she on holiday)
Will take points on board and correct I dont want a fight with gf that would make it all worse!

Beruthiel- I do trust her, but not so sure on girl she is with, know girl she is with was in long term relationship and was snogging other guys in clubs etc
Then again I know your answer is thats her not my gf!

Victor many thanks for the feedback on the PM question earlier.

Dave

If ye have been going out for a few years and you trust her then you're seriously over reacting. Are you just hurt that she decided to go on holiday without you? Maybe she just wants to have a girly holiday, and has a different type of fun with her girlfriends. I know my girlfriend has a different type of fun with her friends than with me. Which is perfectly fine by me.

nobodythere

You're insecure about your relationship, a lot of people are. That's all I'm saying, I can't give you advice right now because I'm a guy who's insecure about simple friendships. in fact, if I tell you to do anything, do the exact opposite. Except for what I just said....

jcoote

trust is one of the biggest bastards in the world...unless u are totally comfortable with yourself u will never trust anyone 100% cos u just feel like u are not good enough or whatever...she isn't gone away to rip u off shes gone away for a break from everything and a bit of fun wit her mate..the easiest thing in the world is to fall into your state of mind but u are just a little insecure and over reacting slightly

Dizzyblabla

I'm sure she was just out dancing and having a laugh, if you've been going out for a few years then you must be doing something right, I really doubt that she would be unfaithful. The clubs abroad don't normally get going until 12 or 1 anyway, so I really wouldn't worry about it, and if I was you I wouldn't say anything, it will only spoil her holiday...

crazymonkey

Trust her,,, getting home at 4:30am while on hol's is early in my book, i would imagine the clubs are open til 6am at the very least.. i was in prague last month did not come home til well after six in the morning,

misswex

I'm with everybody else here on this issue, staying out till that time on holiday is not a big deal, its the norm. I go away on girly holidays and my boyfriend goes away on lads holidays and we trust each other enough to know that we wouldn't cheat on each other!! We both can go and have a good time.

I'm assuming you never came into the decision making process as the two of them wanted to go off and have a girly holiday!! I'm sure she never meant it to hurt you and if it did you should have really sat her down and said it to her.

Let her enjoy the holiday, she's coming home to you!!

seamus

Seriously, if I was in that situation and my gf *wasn't* staying out till 4.30, I'd be worried that she's ill or something.

LegacyUser

misswex,
Yeah didnt come in to the decision process, and thats what I'm annoyed with
Plus bit annoyed That I'm stuck here, I'd like to have gone on holiday, was assuming we'd go, but now in position that she is on holidays and all my mates have had their hols, so therefore no holiday for me.
Cant go on my own cos that would be sh*t

nobodythere

I think that's probably the real issue... maybe there's just no nice way of telling you that she wanted a girly holiday?