Charlie and the Pirate Factory

NotMe

A short story from the land of LUBNiP. Enjoy.

Charlie and the Pirate Factory

One day One Eyed Willie the great Pirate Factory Captain sent out 5 Golden eye-patches as booty prizes to tempt the greatest pirates to fight to be his successor. Once the young swab boy John Joe heard about the bootylicious pirate eyepatches, he set off in search of a golden eye patch, but he was a poor pirate with neither a ship nor an eyepatch of Leather, never mind one of Pirate gold. But he knew he was a good Pirate, for his Arr was loud and his beard long, longer than the beards of 10 pirates. He sneaked onto a pirates back, he knew not why because he liked the hairyness of said pirates back.

Suddenly a large parrot appeared out of nowhere and said 'why did you not use pirate in your post,now to the buried treasure in the west of ireland...' He gripped strongly on to the Pirates back and dug in his heels, preparing to gallop. Gallop like the mad feckin pirates of Penzance, gallop like he never galloped before. Suddenly his mobile phone rang; the ringtone a melodious pirate sea shanty. It was the new Pirate-themed Crazy Frog ringtone. Several crew members died of massive internal ear-hemmorageing.

The pirates parrot had a sudden illusion of grandeur which led it to believe that HE was the pirate and Charlie was the parrot, leading him to try putting a fully grown human on his shoulder. Being a parrot after all and not a pirate, and therefore having no shoulder, and not to mention the fact that the pirate was 100 times heavier than the parrot could ever hope to be, therefore the parrot lunged at the pirate with a rapier in its beak and a pirate glint in his eye.

It looked like Charlie the pirate didn't stand a chance, until it did look like Charlie the pirate would stand a chance because he found a parrot cracker in his pirate pocket, and offered it to the parrot that thought he was a pirate, when suddenly his fellow pirates appeared and shouted "Surprise!" and charlie realised that it was all just a piratey rouse to get him to make hot piratey love with his parrot.

TEH END.

Tar.Aldarion

omg that's class whoever the author is,they are a genius!

NotMe

I know... it's like if 9 great minds worked together and wrote a story... this is what it would be like.

Tar.Aldarion

they had a good day so!and clearly it would be a bestseller if released or put on the back of a tshirt

Naos

Longest.
Short story.
Ever.

el_tiddlero

truly irish literature at its best in terms of confusion anyway.......... shades of the old myths and the great flann o brien to it........ make some more!!!!

o Fiac

This post has been deleted.

NotMe

Thank you for your opinion oh great literary cricket. I'll be sure to let the authors know.

Tar.Aldarion

every time i read that it gets better...is there something wrong with me?...

Shabadu

Truly- the greatest epic novel of our day.

BEAT

Arrrrrr
I just found out what this was about.
So I am editing my previous comments.

This was a compilation story writen by a few people who each added a line and then it was put together and moved here from that special pirate land.

I will leave it here for a while so

yarrr

sanncoo

/in go Ricky like mode

Go Beat! Go Beat! Go Beat!

Tar.Aldarion

LATIN BEAT wrote:

Arrrrrr
I just found out what this was about.
So I am editing my previous comments.

This was a compilation story writen by a few people who each added a line and then it was put together and moved here from that special pirate land.

I will leave it here for a while so

yarrr

i hope you weren't harsh...people poured their souls into it.