Argh!!

Son_of_Belial

Right. I've already tried to discuss this with friends and all they generally have to say about women in general is "they're a shower of cúnts" or something equally obscene. By the way, this has nothing to do with my other thread "Bloody Women!", which is a slightly different scenario altogether.

So my latest ex and myself have been apart for just over a month now. I am still really fond of the girl, and we got on really well when we were together. I'm not altogether sure why it ended but it did. That's fine, I can live with that. But now she's sending all these sort of mixed signals. When we broke up she convinced me that we should remain friends. Generally a recipe for disaster I know, but I thought "ah sure, why not?" She said she wanted to take it very slowly and all this so I'm like "righto, that's grand etc." We've kept contact to a relative minimum up until now and have mainly stuck to emails and the odd text message. Well she first popped up again in a major way on my radar over the weekend at Oxegen where I was working security. Really just as a gesture I offered to get her pit passes for at least one of the days. She seemed happy and said we'd sort out how she'd come and get them. She said she'd be down there at such and such a time. The next text message "Oh and we're camping too..." One of my female friends was like "Woah, booty call!" but I never managed to get into contact with her for the rest of the festival what with phones jammed etc. Nor am I enclined to believe that that's what she meant by that text...

She texts me afterwards and she's asking all about what I was up to (I left out the subject of the Bloody Women thread, I'm not stupid!) and she seems more friendly than ever. Now it just so happens that a few of my mates and myself were going to be going to Malahide Beach today. Guess where my ex lives?! So I texted her to let her know where we were going (I didn't want to bump into her there without warning, she goes to that beach a fair bit and it could have looked a bit stalkery!) and then as an aside suggested we could meet up some time soon in town the weekend after next. She writes back to say that she gets off work early and she'll come down to see me at the beach today! This was a little too fast as far as I was concerned, and I managed to persuade the lads to go up to Johnnie Fox's instead (we had a great laugh by the way in the car!). I told her that if she wanted to meet up I'd be in town later but she wrote back basically pretty adamant that she'd come and meet me the next time I'm on Malahide Beach. I can't read women at all, so what exactly is she playing at/thinking of?! Does anyone else think that the "we're camping too..." really was an invitation or what? Stupid complications...

Le Rack

she still likes you, wants to get back with you but knows/thinks she cant, hence heavy flirting and whatnot, try talk to a mutual friend bout it, this happened me and its all good now. Just took time

Son_of_Belial

Hm, well it's annoying! Also we don't really have mutual friends. She has hers and I have mine really. I just wish she'd stop playing games you know?

Le Rack

yeah, me and a guy broke up, under slightly bad terms, both of us ended up bitter yada yada, then a week/two later he starts flirting heavily with me, everyone thinks we're back together, I'm thinking WTF so I ask around turns out he still really likes me and wants to get back, I think "great, I adore him" about two weeks later again he's with someone else. that wasn't nice.
got any friends of friends?
even just ask her straight out, "is there any chance of us ever getting back together?2 or something to that effect, depends upon your own feelings...

Son_of_Belial

is there any chance of us ever getting back together?

See, that's a question I'd never ask... Plus I'd never really trust a "friend of a friend" Anyone else have any idea what's going on?

Le Rack

sorry, i suppose yeah, last time I asked that I got no answer and now he's with a friend.

funky penguin

sorry, i suppose yeah, last time I asked that I got no answer and now he's with a friend.

Son_of_Belial

Yeesh, that sucks! Some "friend"

Le Rack

funky what are you at?
eh its alright all three of us are in a band together now!, as well as another ex of mine!

funky penguin

funky what are you at?
eh its alright all three of us are in a band together now!, as well as another ex of mine!

Son_of_Belial

Lol, I was wondering what Funky was at alright... Ah I don't know. I wouldn't have thought she still liked me though. Do you think that was a booty call?

Le Rack

thats at least the fifth time, I think funky is stalking me!

It might have been was it just how you put it "we're camping too...." emphasis on the full stops cuz if it was I would sauy yeah it was a booty call

funky penguin

thats at least the fifth time, I think funky is stalking me!

It might have been was it just how you put it "we're camping too...." emphasis on the full stops cuz if it was I would sauy yeah it was a booty call

Son_of_Belial

Hmm.... Dammit!

Le Rack

dammit good or dammit bad?

Son_of_Belial

Bad

seamus

Run. Fast.
Unless of course you want to get back with her only for it to end in agonising hurt all over again (unless you think this is a momentary blip in an otherwise strong relationship).

Any two people who've been going out longer than 6 weeks cannot break up and immediately remain friends. It just doesn't work that way. Instantly they become a potential score, and as the memories of why you hated relationshipland fade, the desire to get back to that hands-all-over-eachother-lewd-suggestions-flying-tee-hee-tee grows, the flirting gets heavier and heavier till you end up in bed again realising how you're completely back at square one.

Long story short: If you want the pain to end as quickly as possible, cut all ties, and stop regular communication. Let her know you're doing this. You'll know when you're OK again to see if you can salvage a friendship.
On the other hand, if you think it would be worth giving it another shot be honest with her.

Kevin_rc_ie

Age of belial, please allow me a slightliy off-topic question. are you the type of guy that has more female friends than guy friends. do you regularly seek the advice of plutonic female friends about life issues?

Son_of_Belial

Generally, but I often don't like asking them about this sort of stuff. They often tend to feel like they have to defend me or something and the results are rarely pretty! Thanks seamus, I have considered just legging it, but it'd be kind of mean being like "we should meet up" and then not contacting her ever again. Of course she could well do the same but she's the one who suggested being friends in the first place. I'm also not so sure I want to meet her so close to where she lives, I'd prefer to be on neutral ground so to speak, you know?

The Sweeper

Son_of_Belial wrote:

I am still really fond of the girl, and we got on really well when we were together. I'm not altogether sure why it ended but it did. ......Really just as a gesture I offered to get her pit passes for at least one of the days. ......So I texted her to let her know where we were going......and then as an aside suggested we could meet up some time soon in town the weekend after next.

God almighty...

So you split with your ex. After splitting, you text her now and again, then you offer her pit passes for a major gig, you text her to say you're going to the beach, and then...

...then you **** off with your mates up the mountains?????

Are you nuts or what?? For starters, if someone I considered a "friend" said to me "we're all going to the beach, do you want to come, or meet up in town later" and then shagged off somewhere else, I'd think "wow, what a superduper prick HE is".

You think she's the one giving mixed signals?

Here's a crazy thought kids - it's a fantastic summer's day, a rarity in Ireland, you're in work, and a bunch of mates say they're at the beach, so you say you'll get off work early to go to the beach... could it be that you JUST WANT TO GO TO THE EFFING BEACH WITH SOME MATES??

Sorry, Son_of_Belial, but you sound like you're the one playing the smashing great head-the-ball games here to me...

Son_of_Belial

OK JD, you kind of missed the point. She said she'd come down to the beach, obviously I gave her plenty of notice about our change of plans. She was getting off work early anyway, plus I never asked her to come down she was like "well I can meet you down there today." I didn't originally want to see her today. Read the thread properly before you start going off on one

The Sweeper

Okay, so your point is what then? You made plans, you changed plans, and....

And what?

Do you want to hear something that you'd really LIKE?

Sure - she can't stop thinking about your cock. Will that do?

Easily_Irritated

I wouldn't read too much into the whole thing, sonny because sometimes we don't always say what exactly it is that we want to and expect others to work it out its not always the case.

I'd say you're slightly over analysing the situation. Her mentioning she was camping, i don't think, is anything to read into. Anyone who was going to oxegen mentioned what type of ticket they got without me asking when I met mates at the weekend who were going.

Thats not to say she doesn't want to get back with ya tho altho, shes your ex so surely she'd be a bit more direct if she wanted you to visit her tent at witness ?(cos everyone knows its the most romantic place in the world! lol)

Son_of_Belial

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

Sure - she can't stop thinking about your cock. Will that do?

No.

Boggle

Your obviously still interested so why dont you take the plunge and arrange to meet up with her? Don't keep putting it off as the longer you leave it the harder it is.

If your still interested after meeting her why don't you just ask her straight out if she wants to give it another go? At least then it'd be done with - better be straight and get an honest answer rather than sitting around trying to read signals (which is impossible when it comes to women ). And besides she is probably thinkin you are throwin signals too and would probably appreciate if she knew what was goin on in your head. (Thats if you even know yourself - if you know what I mean!)

Good luck!

the_syco

Make a list of why you broke up. Then a list of "good things" about her. Compare the list. Should give you an idea if your heart of the little man downstairs is driving you.