Female friend actin all odd

LegacyUser

Right, long one here.

Ive known this girl for about 6 months, in the same college, work near each other she only lives up the road from me. Id seen her about but we got chattin at a social and we been fairly good mates since, always have a good laugh with her. Gorgeous lookin and all. Anyway, what is gettin me is that all of a sudden its like she turned weird on me

Right, so this weekend we were both at Oxegen (went with seperate people). Last Wednesday I texted to see if she was still goin. Got no reply but i wasnt bothered, just assumed she had very little credit and didnt want to waste it as she would need it for weekend. Anyway arrive, Friday night, I decided id give her a buzz, but couldnt get through (in all fairness the network there was absoloutely terrible, very congested)

Anyway, Saturday afternoon, havin still not got thru im walkin back to the campsite and i ran into her. She said hello and all, but said she was in a rush to some set and would chat later. Thought this was very unlike her, she didnt even ask me to come (tho tbh she knows what music i like and whoever she was going to see i wouldnt give a ****e about). In all, was only chattin for a minute

Anyway, later that night, i was walkin out of the Prodigy set, fairly off my face, and I just happened to walk into her (she was there too). She chatted to me alright, and wel walked back to our general camping area (id say, assuming she told the truth bout where she was, she was maybe a 2-3 min walk thru the tents from where we were camped). Mnetioned that I had been ringin her much of Saturday morning, she said she had her phone off to conserve battery (in fairness, she does have a pretty battered old enough phone).But as we approached she tried to dissaude me from walkin near her spot, sayin she didnt mean to be a bitch but she was tired and headin straight for bed. Thought this was very unlike her but said fair enough, and she pointed out roughly where her tent was and i said id chat to her

So then i rang her Sunday morning. I put my number on view and rang, but nobody picked up. Then I rang her from private number that night. She picked up, and said her battery was running ery low but she would text me back in a minute or two. Never did


Now, the thing that is really gettin me about this is why she has changed with me all of a sudden. Ive been weighing up the pros and cons for her behaviour, tryna see if it was all coincidence, and in all honestly im leanin 60/40 in favour of ignorance. Points to her credit would be

Her battery COULD have been severely low. Atfer all, its an old phone, and the batteries of most of my mates i was camped with had all run out by Sunday morning (Ive a new phone, but tbh if my old 3210 i had til a few months ago was with me ida run out no problem)
She could have been at a gig when i called Sunday morning and not heard the phone, and was too worried about battery decline to call back.
When i told her I called much of Saturday morning and couldnt get through followed by "prolly the network here its badly congested" she said she had turned off her phone that night to conserve the battery longer. At least she admits that
When she said she would text back Sunday evening, in fairness the state of her phone its a miracle it was still working. Perhaps it cut out as my call ended

Basically thats where the pros end. The cons against her, which in my mind seem stronger

Is it really just coincidence she didnt pick up my shown number, but did on the private number call?
Why run off when i bumped into her Saturday?
Why fob me off when we were walkin near our campsite area? Tiredness? Hmm, fair enough maybe, but i dunno tbh, sounds iffy

You might wonder why i care about all this. Basically its cos I hate two faced people, but more importantly its because there was absoloutely no hint of this kind of disrespect beforehand, so why all of a sudden? The last time i was talking to her in person was about 10 days before it was on. She was full of talk about it, sayin what a laugh it would be, askin me what she should bring (i was there last year). She was even about to ask me down the pub with that night i think but as she asked her phone rang, and as i was in a big hurry i motioned that i was off (i wouldnt have been able to make it that night anyway). Tbh her behaviour this weekend, if it was that, is just so unlike her. A few days before the tickets sold out, she said to me "Im gettin my ticket this weekend for certain. My friends are dragging their feet about it but Im gettin it anyway, even if they miss out at least I know you will be there". Is this really what you say to someone you gently want to leave you alone? The only thing I could possibly think of that would make her wary of me was when I went on a 10 hour session down the pub a few weeks back. She came in later, and it was clear to all I was trying to pull her, to no avail. Fair enough i felt a bit stupid the next day. The next night though, i was waitin at the bus stop beside our estate to go to a social in town, and as the bus was coming i could see her approaching. I motioned for her to hurry up, but instead she shouted for me to walk with her about a mile in a different direction, to get the bus from her friends workplace. I appologised for acin the bollix the prev day and she said she didnt care, after all everyones done it. As we were walking she even told me she was so glad she ran into me, she hated walkin the dark shortcuts we were taking on her own. Not long after I was first talking to her I mentioned about this rap gig I was going to and she claimed to be huge into rap music. The following discussion revealed that she actually knew rather little about it but i was thinking hey, she must be a nice girl to pretend to like something just to be friendly. And until recently i was unemployed- it took 3 months of hard searching to find work (i suppose getting out of college made my hours more flexible and therefore more attractive to employers). But when I was in that "Im fcukin sick of this ****e everyone has a job except me" mood, she picked me up by lying and telling me it recently took her 3 months to get work as well, in fact she got very embarrased one day soon after when her friend said to her "you not sick of that place? yiv been there 3 years now"
Its just this kind of overt friendliness in the past, coupled with the fact that nothing bad happened between us in the last fortnight and the last time we met she invited me out that really has me wondering why she would be so odd with me last weekend

DawnMc

It could possibly be a big misunderstanding judging from the past being so good. If I were you, I'd text her and say you're wondering whats up etc basically just be honest with her. I'm sure she'd appreciate it.

LegacyUser

Probably should have added this to the previous (apologies for the length, but im a fast typist and Ive a few downloads on) but what Im really wondering is how to react next time I see her. Ill nearly certainly bump into her in the next few days and Im nearly certain Ill get a pile of "aw hiiiii! How are ya?!!? Wasnt that the best weekend ever?" and Im thinking I have 3 options

Completely blank her and walk on by, or even say something along the lines of *oh good to talk to now but not last weekend am I, ya can fcuk off*
Talk for a bit but then bring up the ignorance thing and see what happens
Decide she didnt ignore me and continue as usual

If I blank her and she did nothing, then I will have lost a very good friend. If I ask her, she might lie. If I decide not to ask and continue as we were, Im potentially fooling myself. Either way I just know next time I meet her she will be full of smiles and chat, but tbh I wanna know what way to act, what would you do? And on top of that, we have a few years left together in the same college. She only lives up the road. I see her maybe twice a week just in walking about, so we definitely share the same space if you know what I mean, she isnt exactly avoidable.

But honestly i just dont get her. Im not sure, but i even think she hugged me sat night when she was off to her own tent. The time we chatted before we went, she nearly invites me out and even asks me about gettin her brother work with me. But then, i dont get a text or anything explaining her missing time this weekend? I just dont get this

secret_squirrel

Hmm go easy on the texts she might think you are stalking her.

Have you been coming on heavy lately - she might think you fancy her and be trying to put some distance between you.

DawnMc

ya maybe one of her friends suggested that you might fancy her... or maybe there's a logical explanation for it all

weemcd

does sound like you are being a little clingy tbh. I think she might need some breathing room, id say definatly do not text/ring her for a few days and see if she eventually comes round.

have you thought about the possibility that she might have met someone, but doesnt want to hurt your feelings or anything like that? (it is possible she thinks you are after her.)

thats just my 2c.

jellie

you sound a bit paranoid. there could be simple explanations for most of the stuff. id say act normal and give it some time, see how it works out. if shes still acting weird then either say it to her or try forget about it. if someones not gonna treat you with respect theyre not worth your time, efforts, thoughts, etc..

Chucky the tree

Sounds like she has a fella and doesnt want to hurt you. Thats probaly the reasons she didnt want you to walk her back to her tent.

Or maybe she just wasnt in the mood to talk to you, happens to us all.

Anyway i certainly dont recommend blanking her or ask her. YOu will look like a tossser. And a werido aswell. Next time you see her act as if nothing werid happened, just be cool about it. Dont text her or call her until she call/texts you though.

Son_of_Belial

Do nothing for a while. give it a couple of weeks. If she's still a bit off confront her.

DawnMc

Tbh, it all seems quite understandable. She was at Oxygen and most people are flying around, talking to diff people at a place like that. But then again, I'm a great believer in follow your gut instinct.

Third_Echelon

She's a woman. They are complicated beings. If you learn nothing today, let that be your new thing for today...

From what you are saying, I think she was actually more embarassed/felt akward about the 'you trying it on with her' situation than she is letting on.

It sounds like she only likes you as a friend from her behaviour pattern, but I could be wrong.

Best thing to do is play it cool. Dont go texting her or calling her. Leave the situation settle down for a while. Only talk to her if she calls you or you bump into each other. Be civil and chat, but dont go all 'stalker-clingy'... They smell this a mile away.

Be cool and sit back and assess the situation.

weemcd

giving advice like this is the easiest part. Resisting calling or ringing is hard as fúck sometimes.
gl to the op.

LegacyUser

Hello again

Firstly i ought to say, no, absoloutely certain she has nobody, not 10 days ago anyway. You know what women are like, they cant stop talking about it if theyre going with someone. Ive spent enough time around her and her mates socially to know she isnt. The only thing related to this might be the following. I remember once when we were headin into town on the bus, me her and her mate, they were talking about the way some female friend of theirs either was obsessed with some lad, or let him treat her bad, or something like this, tbh i dunno i wasnt really paying attention to the story, Im not really the type to take interest in peoples lives like that, but she did say "if i ever get like that about some lad shoot me". I dunno, maybe she used to go with some prick, but tbh i really wouldnt read anything into a throaway comment like that

As for the fancying thing, yes, she probably does know, but then again there arent too many straight males who wouldnt like her. If she cold shouldered every male friend who ever tried it on after a few I doubt she would have any. Theres no clinginess about it, I didnt go with the intention of meetin her and feckin proposing did I. Indeed I spent much of the weekend with this bird who I met on the bus down


sar84- but thats precisely the problem, if she kept actin odd yid know well, but I could bet 100 quid it will be all friendly talk when I inevitably bump into her over the next few days. For those of you saying ignore it or let it lie, sorry but I honestly cant be mates with people like that. Maybe you can overlook it but its against my principles. I am not runnin off to call/text her, tbh thats the last thing Id do, Im waiting until I bump into her. When she asks about the weekend, Im giving serious consideration to being honest. If she lies hopefully Ill be able to tell. If shes really my mate as Dawn says she should respect my own honesty in asking (hopefully), Ill sincerely apologise and all will be as it was


And Third Echelon....
Im 18, of course I know by now birds are off their ****in rocker at the best of times

Kell

OP- dude, she is a woman. WTF do you expect? There is no rhyme or reason to their wiley ways and you will only give yourself grey hair (like mine) from trying to figure out why they behave the way they do.

Resign her to the little category of "they are a f*ckwit" in your head and forget about her. As you get on a bit, your "they are a f*ckwit" category will expand and you will happily resign people to it with no guilt.

Thinking about her will only stop you meeting the one thats right for you. Trust me.

K-

LundiMardi

there's no harm in being honest with her, just don't be a prick about it. Don't say ''Why were you being a bitch towards me the last week or two?'' , just ask her how she was, that she's seemed a little strange over the last couple of weeks and wondered if she's ok. That's all.

LegacyUser

All well and good Kell, but what I am getting at is that if there is that, lets say, 25% possibility that all this was a horrible misunderstanding on my part, that for reasons of sh1t phones she really couldnt get me then I look the tit. But if I brush it all off when I get back home I give the impression of bein some bitch who is good enough for a favour or a chat but not infront of her "real" friends

The thing is, if you want to get someone off your back, why be as nice as pie to them?n Inviting them out, keep talking about the craic your going to have with them? Me and my other mates know this guy from our old school who we always try to avoid when we are out. If you talked to him for 10 mins you miht think hes grand, but because we know what he is really like we are always tryna get him to piss off. Any time he has managed to hang around with us on a night out he has got into a fight with some scumbag that we have had to save him from, 99% of the time because he runs his mouth with fcukers he shouldnt. I dont mind saving a mate from a row, but Im sick of this fool because he should know by now who not to talk ****e to. But the way we interact with him is so different to the way she does (or did) with me

Thinking this morning, I came up with two more plus points for her. When I met her Saturday night she asked if I had seen this guy from her college class (Id know him a bit through her, seems sound enough lad). He would be a mate of hers too, but by this stage she hadnt seen him, and I dunno if she tried to make contact with him. God knows if this is related to my situation but anyway, if it is, it either shows she was having trouble getting through to anybody or that for some reason she has decided to put her mates in an importance order, me and her classmate being on the subs bench if you will.

On Sunday morning at Oxegen I also ran into a girl I used to go to college with until she dropped out early this year. Only know this one from a social or two, very sound bird. We were chattin for about 10 mins, I asked her if she had seen this particular girl and she said no. I cant really recall how well they knew each other, but I do know they both have the same very good mate in college, so its highly likely theyd have known each other/known each others numbers. I suppose maybe this is a plus but i dunno tbh



Either way, the clock is fast ticking to a time when I bump into her (i aint going looking or calling, but its near inevitable ill see her about soon) and I have to say something I think.

MicraBoy

On her blob tbh.




*I am joking of course, but then again....... :eek:

Nevyn

MicraBoy wrote:

On her blob tbh.




*I am joking of course, but then again....... :eek:

Not funny or helpfull
Please read the charter.
Have a nice day,
Thaed

goingmental

Really,,,,
you only know this girl for 6 months,, you cant be sure what she is really like,,
I think that you need to speak to her and to say it straight out,, just say something like, have i done something to pissyou off,, as i thought you've been acting really strangely towards me,,
she;ll prob get all embarrassed and say no nothing or else rant off at ya,,
either way you;ll know and your head wont be wrecked altogether,

My guess is that yes,, she thinks that you fancy her and this is her way of letting you know(i am thinking that you do as you wouldnt go to so much trouble with this,,,,)
i have done this to guys before as its easier for me in the long run withour being rude,, i know i know its not nice, but i did find it the easier more chickenish thing to do.. and you'll get over it,,,
or else she still thinks that you fancy her and she has a boyf and doesnt wanna hurt your feelings,,,

just set it straight,, clear the ceann and be done with it"!!

MicraBoy

Not funny or helpfull

I couldn't disagree more. It's both funny and helpful.
Unless you know for a fact that PMS wasn't a factor in the OP's issue?
In fairness if it is something like this the OP shouldn't really be getting his knickers in a twist.

I've highlighted the symptoms that are relevant.

Symptoms
A long list of symptoms have been attributed to PMS. Some of the more common ones are:

headache
feeling bloated
weight gain
breast tenderness
back or lower abdominal pain
irritability or aggression
depression and anxiety
mood swings
tiredness
poor concentration
A more severe form of PMS is called premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), in which the emotional symptoms, such as depression, mood swings, anxiety and tension, are particularly serious. It occurs in only a small percentage of women with PMS.

PMS