girlfriend attack me

LegacyUser

Ok first plz plz dont turn this into a Men v Woman thing i hate that and its not about that

Sunday night me and my girlfriend went out with a couple of mates We were all drinking a little bit. she isnt really the jealous type but anyway she accused me of looking at another girl and she got upset. I told her that if this is going to be how she acts then I don't see us bein 2gether.

She got pissed off and went outside for a smoke. Five minutes later we all left and went home. Well once we got home she was all pissed off and then she attacked me.

She was punching me in the head and face and I grabbed her and tried to hold her down on the couch until she calmed down but she kept kicking scratching and hitting. i let her up and then she attacked me again.
I received a cut eye, huge scratch across my face, my ear was dripping blood, and my arm is cut and scratched pretty bad.
After she did this she felt very bad and tried to get a knife out of the kitchen as she wanted to cut herself to punish herself. I didnt let her in the kitchen and said i would call the garda. This made her mad again and she told me that if i called them she would tell them i hit her. so i called my mam(they have a good relationship) and got her on the phone with her and she finally calmed down and went to sleep.
The next day I kicked her out of the house(she was stayin with me) and called it with her. She was really mad and sorry for what she did. I can't be goin out with someone who can flip like this. we have been goin out for 8 months and i never seen her like this before

I dont wanna bring police in because i know shes not like this normally and would hate to bring her to court or worse to jail but i wanna let her know that what she did was so out of order and she is sooo lucky i didnt burst her back or call the garda

i wonder if she is maybe on some drugs or somethin but i dont care i just wanna make her know if she comes near me (violent) ill defend myself and also make it clear she cant be doin this to anyone ever

Nevyn

First off not matter who she is to you what has happened is utterly unacceptible.

Secondly why not consider esp if you are considering taking her back why not report it to the garda; they wont laugh and they wont insist that you press charges but at least that way you will have a record of it.

If you really wont go to to the garda then go to your gp and have them assess and make a medical record of your injuries.
Once you have a record of it you have a lot more options.


It sounds like she needs some anger managment classes and maybe to not drink for quite some time and to see a cousellor. Try and get her to go to her dr and as to speak to some one.

You can get a safey order you know with out pressing charges from the family law courts if you have been living together for the last 6mnths or more if not the civil courts.

This simply means she cant threathen you or lay a finger on you and if she does the garda can come and remover her straight away.
A Safety order just impresses on the person that certain types of behaviour are unlawfull and there are consquences.

I am sorry to hear what has happened and am glad you Mam was there for you.

Boston

beatenbyagirl?? wrote:

Ok first plz plz dont turn this into a Men v Woman thing i hate that and its not about that

Sunday night me and my girlfriend went out with a couple of mates We were all drinking a little bit. she isnt really the jealous type but anyway she accused me of looking at another girl and she got upset. I told her that if this is going to be how she acts then I don't see us bein 2gether.

She got pissed off and went outside for a smoke. Five minutes later we all left and went home. Well once we got home she was all pissed off and then she attacked me.

She was punching me in the head and face and I grabbed her and tried to hold her down on the couch until she calmed down but she kept kicking scratching and hitting. i let her up and then she attacked me again.
I received a cut eye, huge scratch across my face, my ear was dripping blood, and my arm is cut and scratched pretty bad.
After she did this she felt very bad and tried to get a knife out of the kitchen as she wanted to cut herself to punish herself. I didnt let her in the kitchen and said i would call the garda. This made her mad again and she told me that if i called them she would tell them i hit her. so i called my mam(they have a good relationship) and got her on the phone with her and she finally calmed down and went to sleep.
The next day I kicked her out of the house(she was stayin with me) and called it with her. She was really mad and sorry for what she did. I can't be goin out with someone who can flip like this. we have been goin out for 8 months and i never seen her like this before

I dont wanna bring police in because i know shes not like this normally and would hate to bring her to court or worse to jail but i wanna let her know that what she did was so out of order and she is sooo lucky i didnt burst her back or call the garda

i wonder if she is maybe on some drugs or somethin but i dont care i just wanna make her know if she comes near me (violent) ill defend myself and also make it clear she cant be doin this to anyone ever

You have to cover you're own arse in life mate. You're leaving yourself wide open. She has allready threatened to accuse you of attacking her, if you where to actually defend yourself, she would have the evidence to back it up a claim of assualt of if she's feeling particularly vindictive sexual assualt/rape. Thing of where that would leave you? Follow thead's advice, it's the only way the cover yourself. Personally I wouldn't have anybody in my life that is goign to be A) that jealous and violent towards me.

Most importantly there is no shame in what happened to you, allot of men go through similiar.

jcoote

hell no thats not right...she's a dodgy one and i'd report it to the garda and leave her to it...she obviously has a chip on her shoulder and if she can't control her jealousy/anger then she needs to talk to somebody

BizzyC

Take Thaed's advice, see your gp, get the injuries on record..

She sounds a bit crazy, wouldn't be suprised if she gave herself a black eye and blamed you..........

Karl Hungus

Jesus, avoid that ****ing psycho!!! I'd press charges, or even sue, that kind of behaiveour is totally unacceptable altogether!

Töpher

She'll probably cut herself badly if it all goes horrible. You have to get away, IMO, but at least try to be considerate of the poor psycho's feelings/mental health!

Talliesin

beatenbyagirl?? wrote:

i just wanna make her know if she comes near me (violent) ill defend myself and also make it clear she cant be doin this to anyone ever

Few things here.

First, there is no profile of person that this cannot happen to. It can happen to people who have "handled themselves" in street fights or security work, it can happen to activists and welfare workers who've worked on the exact same issue and helped others and who know all there is to know on the matter (I know more than one person that matches each description, indeed more than one that matches both, that have still suffered from violence or threats from a partner). There is nothing that can make you immune to this happening, and it is not your fault.

An important thing here is what do you mean when you say "ill defend myself".

Should it happen again, matching force with force in an attempt to make her realise she can't succeed in overcoming you is unlikely to work. It isn't a calculated attack like robbery where the perpetrator wants an easy target and no hassle, rather it is likely to just escalate the matter.

Restraining her is unlikely to work unless you are very skilled at self-defense, and the potential reprecusions afterwards don't bear thinking about.

Incapacitating her is a total no-no unless you've no choice (she's armed and seems likely to do you a serious injury, and you can't get out).

Getting out of there is always the best solution to any self-defense situation. It's not always easy at the best of times, but all the more so when you are being attacked by someone you think you should be with, and especially if it is in your own house or flat; no one should ever have to flee their own home.

Getting the gardai to intervene is another way of defending yourself. It may feel like you aren't being able to stand up for yourself if you have to do so, and it may feel to both you and her than you are bringing the authorities into your private life, but forming a police force is a way that our society collectively decided to stand up for ourselves and there is no shame on relying on them. It is a way to make a violent situation stop, and it is also a way of marking the limits on what is not acceptable behaviour from her.

A safety order will both make it easier to get the gardai to intervene, and also signal that you will not accept such behaviour. Just how she will react to such an order is hard to say, but remember that any such reaction is really a reaction to her recognising the reality of the situation, not to you taking what is a reasonable and perhaps necessary measure to ensure your own physical safety and to move on in your relationship with her without the fear that it will happen again looming to largely over both your heads.

Nickibaby*

Steer well clear, this girl obviously has a violent streak in her. Don't give her the opportunity to attack you again.

I doubt she will be in your mothers good books after this? What advice has she given you? (since she would know your girlfriend alot better than people on this forum)

If you don't want to press charges, i'd get a medical record of what's after happening incase anything happens in the future and she tries to make out that you are the violent one.

WhiteWashMan

id seriously do the whole log with gardai thing here.
get a record of the assault. if she is willing to go slashing herself and says she will lie about you hitting here, there are something weird going on.
cover your bum.

on the other hand, wtf made her go off on one?
its very rare that someone goes off the deep end without someone doing something.

Praetorian

The log with the gardaí idea is great in essence, however I can testify to the fact that some garda can't or won't keep records unless the victim is willing to press charges.

I would suggest taking photographic evidence of the abuse before it heals.

The Clown Man

Sounds like a lu-la tbh.

I'd say just leave it. The less contact the better.

Don't bother with gardai or anything - just leave it - get on with something else and some day you can laugh about the crazy woman who attacked you.

Esel

The Clown Man wrote:

Don't bother with gardai or anything - just leave it - get on with something else and some day you can laugh about the crazy woman who attacked you.

This is not good advice. She could still cut herself and claim you did it. Report it to the police, *and* have your injuries noted by a GP or in A&E. Then, if she later claims you attacked her, you will be in a better position to defend your self in a court of law.

Agree with Clown Man on his other point - have no further contact with her.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

Talliesin

Solitaryman666 wrote:

This post has been deleted.

No, it's not.