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another grandchild problem

  • 07-07-2005 8:37am
    #1
    gubby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭


    Again not a major problem (see other post) I have a grandson who is just gone 2 his mom is worred about his habit of slapping. especially his mom. she has tried "time out" and doesnt want to slap him back cos that would be kinda crazy seeing as she is telling him that slapping is wrong. but now he has started to slap another child at the child minder.
    any ideas.


Comments

  • #2
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Most kids do this; sort of feel the power I am making choices.
    They need to learn that these are bad choices to make.

    Two is old enough to start talking to him and letting him know it is not on.
    A follow up talk later on in the day well after the trouble and after the punishment when he is feeling safe and secure may reach him better.
    Bath time, story time. I am nearly sure a story about a little boy who has no
    Friends to play with cos he hit them would hit home.

    Ah and don’t for get emotional blackmail having people telling him that he makes them sad and disappointed with that type of behavior can go a long way.
    It may be that he need some reinforcement, his mammy telling granny or friends that he is used to seeing coming in and out of the house that she is sad cos he hit people and them saying but your a good boy aren’t you good boys don’t do that will impact too. (Yes socialital conditioning a 2 year old works).

    Balance this with rewards when he has a good day with the child minder.
    Look into how much attention he is getting at the child minder and if he is happy there. It could be that he is feeling ignored and unhappy and wants his
    Parents and is hoping that if he misbehaves the child minder won’t want him back. Yes they are that devious at two.


  • #3
    gubby
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭gubby


    thanks for that thaed. yes i think that is the way she is heading with it now. using me no less... told him that she will tell nana if he is slapping her and nana will be very sad. They are very happy with the child minder she is a very rare and wonderful breed so I dont think there is a problem there. I am inclind to think that they made too much of a big deal of it in the beginning and now he knows whats presses the buttons. but trying to stop it is hard. I dont believe he can be allowed to get away with it and there is the problem.


  • #4
    causal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,184 ✭✭✭causal


    Our 3 year old son started a new behaviour pattern of hitting quite suddenly about 3 months ago.
    We used a 5 minute time out - and it has worked quite well.

    The new behaviour coincided with him seeing the Power Rangers on tv - so now he's not allowed watch any violent cartoons.

    I tried emotional blackmail with him but it failed. We were walking from the kitchen to the living room when he punched me. I stopped walking and acted like he'd hurt me and I sobbed a little. He stopped and looked at me quite surprised. As he walked back to me I thought it had worked a treat and I was expecting him to say "Sorry dad". But he kicked me in the shin and ran off :rolleyes: I certainly learned MY lesson that day :D

    causal


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