Managing stress

Gillo

Appologies as this may be more health related and like most people I hate when someone starts a thread here with "I've got a rash on my left nipple and am so scared, am I going to die".

Over the last few months, I've been gradually getting more and more stressed. It generally starts with work, i work in the services industary and am constantly dealing with the public and then liaseing with service providers. between the public and our own "back office" staff I seem to end up taking most of the $hit and end up getting pretty stressed, it goes with the job and I know its not going to change, but at the moment I tend to just let it build up. I swim 5 nights a week and find that that helps me relax a little- it's a case of pushign myself as hard as I can in the pool and basically taking it out in the pool. But recently i've starting smashing stuff at home only once or twice (don't worry it's only been myown stuff and I've replaced it and had a laugh afterwards).

basically i'm just curious about how other peopel deal with stress as it arises???

amazingemmet

I took up juggling. its great for relieving stress as it can be a sort of active mediation(sp?). Friends of mine swear by yoga. If you feel like smashing something again try count to ten in your head before.
also try to avoid pushing your self to haed in the pool as this will make you tired which in turn will stress you out more

lacuna

Taking your anger out on the pool may not actually be helping you. A calmer way of destressing might make you feel better. Instead of letting your stress out physically, try doing it mentally. I don't mean give up swimming, but you might enjoy swimming more if you do it when you are relaxed. Maybe try someting like yoga or meditation.
I know it might sound a bit new-age etc, but I did try yoga and I found it really relaxing and a great way to unwind. My dad does transcendental meditation and finds it a brilliant for letting go of the stresses of his job etc.

scojones

One word: zen

Read the following books,
The three pillars of zen
zen's beginners mind

bbbbb

I believe stress is all about you and how you handle (potentially stressful) situations. Some people are better at it than others, but we can all learn to improve how we deal with things.

I used to get v.stressed out earlier in my working career, but with time:
- I learned not to take everything personally. People are angry with the situation, the company, the product, etc. not with you. As long as you continue to act courteously and professionally, that remains. Also, some people are just rude.
- some things are inside my control, others are outside. I've learned not to worry about what's outside my control
- some things are part of my job, others are not (that what the bosses make the big bucks for), take care of your own patch, let others worry about theirs (but obviously help if you can) and let the relevant people know if something is not happening that should be happening.
- when I leave the office, I (try to) leave it all behind.

It's also good to have some tune out mechanism, swiming sounds good.

HTH

WhiteWashMan

above advice is very good.

most stress from feeling that we are not handeling our own problems. a lot of people who are not good at their jobs suffer from stress. you may disagree, but i think that overall thats the truth of the matter.
becoming better, more effecient or whatever at whatever has you stressed is a sure way to make it go away.

if you tackle a problem head on straight away, it will not fester and stress you out.

BeardyGit

WhiteWashMan may have a point but working in a service industry myself I don't imagine it's necessarily related to your own abilities to do your job well, although I acknowledge that *could* be part of the problem. I'd guess (again based on my own occasional battle with stress) that it's more to do with other peoples failure to do their job properly and the extra pressure that puts you under when the problems you're paid to deal with aren't resolved effectively and efficiently.

Any of us who actually care about the work we do and the customers/clients we serve want to see things go as smoothly as possible for those who depend upon us doing well in our jobs. Unfortunately we're often left feeling that the efforts we make are ruined by the apathetic follow-up of colleagues or indeed we may feel that the problems we're dealing with on a daily basis are caused by other colleagues not getting it right/making avoidable mistakes in the first place.

If any of this rings true for you, you have two things you should consider doing:

1. Talk to your team leader/manager about the problems you're encountering day after day. Don't just complain about them - Try to clearly identify the cause of the problem and have a couple of suggestions ready which would detail ways to either avoid the problem in the first place or else mitigate the negative effect it has on your customers and you guys when you have to constantly clean up the mess. Remember that your manager/team leader will want you to do well in work so if you come to them with a practical suggestion about how you can improve you or your teams performance they'll be happy to at least listen to it and see if they can make the necessary changes.

2. Remain positive but be realistic. Chances are you're paid just to deal with other peoples problems. If all of these problems went away overnight your customers and employers would be delighted - But you'd be out of a job. Recognise that you can only do so much but the little that you may be able to do can make a difficult situation easier for your colleagues and customers in the long-run. If your manager can't do anything with your suggestion from above, at least you have done your best to change the way your company do business rather than just ignore the problem when you see it. Realise that the effort you put into completing your work makes a difference and even if someone else screws up further down the line, you've done well and your customer will be able to recognise that you did everything you could do, within the constraints of your position, to help them out. If you've been polite, professional and as honest as you should be, they'll realise that it's not your fault that the problem remains in place. Suggest to them that instead of just going ahead that they should speak with a manager - Your customer can be a useful tool to implement change within your own organisation/company.

I know that you're asking about ways to deal with stress. Perhaps my point isn't exactly clear so I'll sum it up by saying that sometimes it's easier to dissipate the build-up of stress by adjusting your approach to your job rather than simply trying to address the consequences of your existing approach. Easier said than done at times but an effort made in this regard will more often than not pay off - Particularly if YOUR customer is satisfied with your own efforts and is educated about why YOU can't do anything else to help them.

If that just sounds like nonsense then the only other thing I'd suggest is for you to speak to your GP. S/He will listen to you carefully and act with your health and best interests in mind. Your employer won't find out about it and your doctor CAN'T force you off work just because they think you need an out for a while. But it will allow them the opportunity to set out straight what the long term effects of working in a stressful environment if you don't learn to successfully manage that stress NOW. They'll point you towards alternative stress management techniques, such as meditation and may even recommend types of excercise to best deal with the build-up of tension and possibly aggression that you're now feeling. If you're reaching a point where you're smashing items at home then you need to seriously consider this course of action before you do ANYTHING else.

Anyway, hope that helps in some respect. I've been there so I know it's not easy....

Gil

Added:
PS: Sorry it's so long but like I said - I hope the content helps.

Victor

gillo wrote:

But recently i've starting smashing stuff at home only once or twice (don't worry it's only been myown stuff and I've replaced it and had a laugh afterwards).

You might need to realise that this is inappropriate behaviour, whether it is your property or not.

You seem to indicate that you "fight" the swimming, which seems not to be the way to go about it.

While the exercise is important for getting rid of the adrenilin, I wonder does it actually do much help to the stress. Perhaps yoga (lots of classes around for about €10 a pop), massage (€50/hour) or some other persuit on top of the swimming might be useful. Cycling or walking, now that the evenings are long?

"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." - Yoda, Jedi Master, Star Wars Phantom Menace.

Nevyn

Victor wrote:

You might need to realise that this is inappropriate behaviour, whether it is your property or not.

It is a form of anger management and stress releif, but it depends on what is
being smashed or on how regualar a bases.
Personally I have up all the chiped, cracked and handless delph for just that
type of smashing occassion.

gubby

My advice is tia chi It is wonderful for helping to deal with stress. helps you to "ground" yourself.

pdunno

i experienced similar type of stress, again mostly related to work. It got to stage where I realised that it just wasn't worth it anymore, completely unbalanced work/lift ratio. So basically I got a new job with a slightly different focus, which to be honest bores the hell out of me, but at least I get home on time and don't feel like a **** every evening. Also try new hobbies and relaxing activities, whatever you enjopy and look forward to.

Kell

gillo wrote:

Over the last few months, I've been gradually getting more and more stressed. It generally starts with work,

What else in your life causes you stress? If the answer is nothing, or that the stress from work leaks into the rest of your life, change job.

Might seem a little to easy the way I have put it, but a friend of mine has been in a similar situation for nearly two years now. His frustration with his job has lost him a relationship and turned him into a serious stress head, yet he cant see that the rest of his life went tits up when he started geting really stressed with the job. Think about it- you spend more time working than anything else in your life (bar sleep). If your job causes you hassles, change it. When things are going wrong they are bound to spill over into the rest of your day.

Have a good think about it and really try and work out what other stressors you have in your life. Could be easier than you think.

K-

Victor

Thaed wrote:

Personally I have up all the chiped, cracked and handless delph for just that type of smashing occassion.

Do you grind them down and return them to the soil?