NASA gets sued for $300M

Capt'n Midnight

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/07/06/atrologer_sues_nasa/

Astrologer sues NASA for Tempel 1 'moral Trauma'
By Lester Haines
Published Wednesday 6th July 2005 11:14 GMT

A Russian astrologer is suing NASA for $300m in damages for "moral trauma" after the agency's Deep Impact mission successfully slammed a probe into comet Tempel 1.

Marina Bay has filed suit in a Moscow court claiming that "any variation in the orbit or the composition of the Tempel comet will certainly affect her own fate". She also reckons that NASA has recklessly endangered the future of civilisation. Her lawyer, Alexander Molokhov, told the BBC: "Nobody has yet proven that this experiment was safe. This impact could have altered the orbit of the comet, so now there is a chance that the Tempel may well destroy the Earth some day!"

Molokhov further asked that anyone who believe they had been affected by the mission contact his legal team asap, saying: "The impact changed the magnetic properties of the comet, and this could have affected mobile telephony here on Earth. If your phone went down this morning, ask yourself why? and then get in touch with us."*

Someone who will not be getting in touch with Molokhov is NASA mission engineer Shadan Ardalan. He told the Beeb: "The analogy is a mosquito hitting the front of an airliner in flight. The effect is negligible."

Well he would say that, wouldn't he? There is always the possibility that Tempel 1 will career towards Earth in an Armageddon stylee, but if that were the case, then $300m would not be a lot of use to Ms Bay, except perhaps to secure the services of Bruce Willis before it's too late.

But hold on a minute: surely Bay - as an amateur star-diviner - is better placed than most to predict the likely outcome of the NASA outrage? For that matter, a quick shufti at the astrological charts will doubtless inform the litigious Russian how much exactly judge Litvinenko of the Moscow Presnya court will award in damages.

Unless, of course, Bay is right in her claim that the post-impact Tempel 1 has inexorably affected her own fate, in which case we suspect that Litvinenko will kick her ass onto the street after a stern lecture involving the words "taking the piss". ®

sprinkles

I wonder how long the Judge was able to keep a straight face

shellby

people will sue for anything now still htough i hope she gets it my claim will be in next

Mossy Monk

i think that's hillarious

toiletduck

[sarcasm] what a great case! this certainly isn't a waste of a courts time! [/sarcasm]

el_tiddlero

hee hee, thats the best lawsuit ever...the whole world could profit from it... we all live under the same stars so therefore messing about up there affects all of our fates... anyone got that guys number???????????/

Stephen

I hope she gets slapped for wasting the court's time, silly bitch.

D

*hatches plan*
All I have to do is hit that comet with a big rocket and change my destiny to become ruler of the world! Muahahaha!
*realises that astrology is bollox*

Sorry to all the hippies out there, I love you guys!

The_B_Man

women! :rolleyes:

YeatsCounty

Best frivolous lawsuit ever.

Spunog UIE

its the principle of the thing.. eh yeah thats it! screw you hippies, fight the powAH

Cake Fiend

Stephen wrote:

I hope she gets slapped for wasting the court's time, silly bitch.

That's the only way crap like this is going to stop tbh.

Cojofl

It's Russia. She'll win if she gives the judge a fiver.

Mossy Monk

in Russia would NASA have to pay a cent?

OFDM

Mossy Monk wrote:

in Russia would NASA have to pay a cent?

No. Same reason why Swedish bit torrent sites can't get sued in American courts.

Capt'n Midnight

Mossy Monk wrote:

in Russia would NASA have to pay a cent?

lets not forget that they are handing the Russians a LOT of money for the ISS launches so if they lost the case it could upset other plans.

pred racer

she cant win because Astrology is boll0x, The star charts they use to look up that crap are hundreds of years old, and the celestial bodies and constellations are in different places now than when the charts were made.
So when russel Grant says the moon is in ur_anus Its not!!!!!
Having said that I wish Id thought of it first, get my 15 min of fame, even if it would be for being a T0sser.

grimloch

For the love of

That's the stupidest thing I've heard in so long. Jesus H, do people think they can get away with this?

pred racer

If she can do that, can I sue her for being an ar$ehole.

Crucifix

That was hilarious, especially the 'bootnote'.

stevenmu

She's right in a way but she's overlooked the causal aspect of it. It was the comets path through the heavens which caused NASA to fire at it. So it was the comets astrological positioning which triggered the event which changed it's positioning, therefore astrology itself is to blame.

Ajnag

She's right in a way but she's overlooked the causal aspect of it. It was the comets path through the heavens which caused NASA to fire at it. So it was the comets astrological positioning which triggered the event which changed it's positioning, therefore astrology itself is to blame.

Good un,
I propose a class action against astrologers for diminishing public rationality and thus negitively affecting my own faith.
I also call for a class action against jehovahs witness's for wasting my time!