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Nice girl's finish last too...

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  • 05-07-2005 9:12pm
    #1
    Barbie_666
    Closed Accounts Posts: 550 ✭✭✭


    i was going out with my boyfriend for almost 11 months, and he dumped me yesterday.I was nice to him, caring, yet I gave him space to hang out with his friends.I done everything I could for him, and more importantly, I love him.
    needed to get this of my chest, as my friends are all loved up, and i don't want to bring them down.:(
    Thanks for reading, and if you have any advice on how to get over a break-up, I'd be very grateful.
    Cheers.x


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    #2
    kasintahan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,010 ✭✭✭kasintahan


    Did he find some better or what was his particular objection to you?

    (this sounds callous I know)


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    #3
    Sleepy
    Registered Users Posts: 24,172 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    The quickest way to get over someone is to get under someone else :p

    You're still young and tbh, 11 months is a long relationship for someone of 18. I'm sure it feels terrible now but you'll be surprised at how fast you'll get over him. Don't waste your energy thinking about what a ba$tard he is for breaking up with you or thinking about how to get him back, try to focus that energy on getting back out there and meeting new people. I'm guessing that you've either just finished your Leaving Cert or First Year, the coming years were the best of my life so far so make the most of them, meet new people, find new hobbies through college clubs and societies (and make some new drinking buddies!). Live your life to the fullest and you'll be over him very quickly. :)


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    #4
    Karl Hungus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,130 ✭✭✭✭Karl Hungus


    99% of the worlds population are jerks.

    Fact.


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    #5
    Barbie_666
    Closed Accounts Posts: 550 ✭✭✭Barbie_666


    one miniute he's talking about kids&marrige in the future, commitment, and going on holidays together, and moving in together4 the summer, next thing I know, his Dad takes a dislike to me, and my boyfriend becomes my ex.


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    #6
    Karl Hungus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,130 ✭✭✭✭Karl Hungus


    Serious advice, don't become bitter and resentfull over the whole thing. Life is a grindstone, and whether it wears us down or polishes us up is all up to us. Remember that, and you should come out of this experience a better person.


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    #7
    muckwarrior
    Registered Users Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭muckwarrior


    "Nothin lasts forever, and we both know hearts can change"


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    #8
    Barbie_666
    Closed Accounts Posts: 550 ✭✭✭Barbie_666


    we agreed to stay friends, but he used to call me and text me every day, i miss him already. :(


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    #9
    Karl Hungus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,130 ✭✭✭✭Karl Hungus


    Take up a hobby to get your mind off it.


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    #10
    muckwarrior
    Registered Users Posts: 4,055 ✭✭✭muckwarrior


    Barbie_666 wrote:
    i miss him already. :(
    Thats inevitable really. It'll just take some time...


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    #11
    Barbie_666
    Closed Accounts Posts: 550 ✭✭✭Barbie_666


    easier said than done, im 18, live in the middle of nowhere, and everything i do reminds me of him.iv barley left my room since yesterday.november rain, lovely song. :(


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    #12
    Sleepy
    Registered Users Posts: 24,172 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    Karl Hungus wrote:
    Life is a grindstone, and whether it wears us down or polishes us up is all up to us.
    Nice Philosophy :)

    Seriously Barbie666, get out of your room, stop sitting in listening to "your" song, don't start texting him and think about one thing: if the guy's not able to make up his own mind about you over the course of 11 months of going out with you and prefers to be Daddy's little boy, do you really, honestly, want to be going out with him? ;)

    Go out, kiss some interesting randomer and remind yourself of some of the advantages of being single. I'm sure there's no shortage of 18 year old guys on here that would only love to take you out some night!


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    #13
    Webmonkey
    Registered Users Posts: 9,579 ✭✭✭Webmonkey


    Like me :)


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    #14
    CaptainPeacock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 66 ✭✭CaptainPeacock


    I'm not sure if having an 11-month romance that ended is finishing last. You might not call it first but it's not last. Finishing last would be more like abject and ongoing loneliness.

    I think living in the middle of nowhere might be more of a worry, though. You need a car, a friend with a car, or at the very least a decent bus service.


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    #15
    Webmonkey
    Registered Users Posts: 9,579 ✭✭✭Webmonkey


    Would the middle of no where be kerry?


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    #16
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Webmonkey this is not a dating forum.
    Please read the charter,
    Have a nice day.
    Thaed


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    #17
    chump
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,807 ✭✭✭chump


    Go for a walk!
    ;)

    My advice would be to move onwards.
    And I gaurantee he'll be on to you before the end of this week looking for some action, then you've an even tougher decision to make.

    To be strung along, or to move on...

    WISE WORDS BARBIE


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    #18
    Webmonkey
    Registered Users Posts: 9,579 ✭✭✭Webmonkey


    I was only messing about. Jeez not my day today, mods warning and banning me like crazy. I'm usually good, breaking all rules today.
    Anyways thanks :) will read charter now for once.

    Webmonkey


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    #19
    p~b
    Registered Users Posts: 861 ✭✭✭p~b


    get over it, its only a fella, its not like someone died or anything like that


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    #20
    gsand
    Closed Accounts Posts: 414 ✭✭gsand


    happens to every1

    ull be that much smarter and more experienced for next time :)


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    #21
    Mist
    Closed Accounts Posts: 77 ✭✭Mist


    The best thing is not to "Still be friends" because that leaves links to the past. Just go and do something or someone new and you will forget about him in no time.


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    #22
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,090 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    suggest going out with frineds and having fun/gettin your mind off him.


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    #23
    Fysh
    Moderators, Arts Moderators, Regional Abroad Moderators Posts: 11,023 Mod ✭✭✭✭Fysh


    If you're feeling really bad about it, go out and spend lots of time with your friends. Try and do stuff you didn't do much when the two of you were together - if you had friends you didn't see that often, or activities you wanted to do but didn't do so you could spend time with him, go out and get stuck in again. If you don't already have one, start finding out about new hobbies. If it's a possibility, think about getting away somewhere for a few days with some friends who understand what's happening.

    Resist the temptation to stay in and mope, it only makes things worse.

    TBH if it was serious to you, it's too soon now to know whether being "just friends" will work. Leave it a while, get some emotional distance and then you'll be able to decide whether you can be friends or not.

    Oh, and fast upbeat music helps, or at least it's working so far for me, anyway....


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    #24
    Nuttzz
    Registered Users Posts: 3,773 ✭✭✭Nuttzz


    Barbie_666 wrote:
    one miniute he's talking about kids&marrige in the future, commitment, and going on holidays together, and moving in together4 the summer,.

    At 18???? WTF?

    Your far too young to be investing so much emotional capital, get out there and meet new people, there is no need to be looking such long term plans just yet


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    #25
    Sifo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 273 ✭✭Sifo


    lifes too short... you need to turn to your friends for support, thats what friends are for, not just the good times but the bad times aswell, if this was happening to my friend i'd make them tell me wats wrong and help them through it...


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    #26
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    Barbie_666 wrote:
    one miniute he's talking about kids&marrige in the future, commitment, and going on holidays together, and moving in together4 the summer, next thing I know, his Dad takes a dislike to me, and my boyfriend becomes my ex.

    what else can you expect from someone so young?
    seriously
    at 18 years of age, the last thing that should be on your mind is such a serious commitment like the one above.
    get on with your life, go out, meet other people and enjoy the next few years before you start to get serious and have to cope with all the responsibility involved in a serious commitment.


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    #27
    conman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 183 ✭✭conman


    barbie.

    what u need to do is listen to this album: Depeche Mode - ultra....


    Dave Gahan wrote it when in Rehab recovering from a killer concoction of alcohol + drugs that kiled him for a few seconds / minutes...
    I no its deep, but it makes u feel much better of who u r, as u no this guy has experienced so much worse....
    he near lost his life / career / friends, was locked up 4 a little bit in a cell..
    so how low can we go?

    anyway...
    Its hard to get over it, i cannot advise, we all deal with it differently..
    i think a good sob, a good pissup + then let ur life take u where ever u go...
    u dont need to jump into another relationship.. jsut go out + have fun with ur friends + let everything fall into its own place...

    Con


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    #28
    DAEDULUS
    Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭DAEDULUS


    Barbie_666 wrote:
    Nice girl's finish last too...

    haha,good one...


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    #29
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    DAEDULUS wrote:
    haha,good one...

    next unhelpful comment from you will result in a banning


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    #30
    ClareBear
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,616 ✭✭✭ClareBear


    Barbie_666 wrote:
    we agreed to stay friends, but he used to call me and text me every day, i miss him already. :(

    I know exactly how you feel hun. I hope everything works out okay for you sooner rather than later. You're better than him. Hugs xxx


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    #31
    MiamiDancer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 40 ✭MiamiDancer


    Barbie_666 wrote:
    we agreed to stay friends, but he used to call me and text me every day, i miss him already. :(

    I know exactly how you feel and its not easy but what u really need to do is start doing fun things without him get some friends together (preferably single friends ;) ) and have a mad night out - maybe in a different town where u wont see him or his mates your gonna miss him for a while but seriously it gets a lot easier and being single can be lots of fun your way too young to get tied down think of all the fun things you could miss out on!! Enjoy life while you can your only young once!!


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