The Man U fan!

derek23

A bloke on his way into work this morning came to a dead halt in traffic
and thinks to himself
“Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing’s moving.”
He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks:
“Officer what’s the hold up?”
The officer replies: “It’s a Man Utd fan, he’s just so depressed about losing the premiership to Arsenal last season and again to Chelsea this season, being knocked out of Europe, losing in the FA Cup final, selling out to a yank and winning naff all after gobbing off all season whilst Liverpool have won the European Cup , he’s threatening to douse himself in petrol and set himself on fire.
He says his family hates him and his mates are all laughing at him. I’m walking around taking a collection for him.”
“Oh really?” says the bloke “How much have you collected so far?”.
“Only about a litre, but a lot of people are still siphoning.”

county

a bit weak!

airetam_storm

Ha love it

That could be done to some a the people 'round here, you know who you are

Big Ears

hehe .

Stabshauptmann

The puch line might have more effect if you shorten his troubles - maybe leave out the bit about his family hates him and friends mocking.

I liked it a lot

Im amazed I didnt see the punch line comming, ahh, Im still in a bad mood