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In a relationship but hung up on ex

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  • 05-07-2005 1:57pm
    #1
    too_much
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37 ✭


    Hi all, I hope I'm in the right place here, and I know it's something that can't really be helped, I just need to get it off my chest.

    Basically, I was with a girl I met in 6th form college for about 15 months, and it was absolutely perfect for most of it, except in the last 2 or 3 months we started to argue more and more, especially when I went off to uni; it put us under a lot of pressure and I couldn't manage, so as painful as it was, I broke it off with her.

    I only did it because I knew it just couldn't have carried on the way things were. I felt so so bad for ruining her christmas and hurting her so much, and I was hung up on her for many many months. Anyway, shortly after the break up, my friendship with a girl at uni was developing as we were spending a lot of time together discussing our personal problems, home life etc etc, and gradually it turned into a relationship.

    I've been with her for 6 and a half months now, and I know I do love her, but this is where the problem comes in:

    I'm still not totally over my ex. I want her to be happy, but the thought of her with someone else still really hurts. She's just been on holiday to spain with one of her friends and I've been feeling really crappy thinking about people sleazing all over her, and how she might have slept with someone... I know this is stupid and childish, and not a mature approach to a relationship at all, but I can't help it.

    We shared a lot together, and I was her first... well, everything basically, and the thought of her sharing those same expressions, sounds, feelings etc with someone else just makes me feel absolutely awful. She doesn't know about my new relationship, and I don't intend to tell her because I know how much it would hurt her - I just wish I could simply be happy for her and wish her all the best, but a selfish part of me still wants her to totally stay away from anything male.

    It's something on my mind a lot, and I don't know how to overcome it. I know I definately love my current gf, she's the world to me and I'd do anything for her, which is where my confusion over my ex comes in... Has anyone else experienced something like this? I can't be alone in this situation surely.

    I do realise I'm being selfish and extremely unfair to everyone, but I just don't know how to get over her completely... Any suggestions or opinions at all would be greatly appreciated.

    regards,
    too_much.


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    #2
    Squirrel
    Registered Users Posts: 2,376 ✭✭✭Squirrel


    Was she your first? If she was she could take a while longer, best thing to do is forget about her and be happy with your girlfriend.


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    #3
    too_much
    Closed Accounts Posts: 37 ✭too_much


    Ah sorry, I should have mentioned that - my first was about 2 months prior to meeting this girl, with a really close girl-friend (not girlfriend) of mine; we agreed to lose it together because we trusted each other tons and there was no pressure. We did it twice and it was the expected-confused mess, but still fun - there was, however, no emotional attachment involved.

    My ex in this case, was my second technically, but I think of her as my first as she was the first person I "made love" to, and tried out new things etc. I guess that's why I'm having a hard time...


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