My friend vomits!

LegacyUser

YEah, my friend (boy) has what i think is bulemnia
we share everything and he had no qualms telling me about it, he does not see it as bulemnia and believes it to be his choice to make himself sick after he "pigs out", personally I can see this getting a lot worse in the future and need your advice in helping me convince him to stop, what are the side effects of this disorder, he has a sore throat but apparently just due to a lack of water vapour in his bedroom!

Tails

Be a friend and tell him thats not a good path to go down. The sore throat is proabaly from the acid in his stomach which sounds like this is a regular thing. Find out some iformation about it but dont force anything on him just talk about it, i dont know what kind of relationship you have but people tend not to like things being forced on them.

Victor

Tails wrote:

The sore throat is proabaly from the acid in his stomach which sounds like this is a regular thing.

I'm sure that he should consider tooth damage and throat cancer, along with the whole range of other issues involved in eating disorders.

www.bodywhys.ie

drdre

yeah victor,bodywhys.ie should be a great help as its a brilliant website

WhiteWashMan

not to mention that he will strip the lining from his throat and stomach as time goes on.
ever tried living on rennie for the rest of your life?

anyway, i would think your boyfriend definately has a problem, and would be better off with some medical advice.

Scarinae

Why did he tell you? Either he wants help, or you're just becoming an Enabler - someone who knows what he is doing but won't do anything about it. Telling him the medical details of what he is doing to his body will not help much - I know this, because I used to do it as well, and it didn't stop me - there must be a reason why he is doing it. There is a website where people with eating disorders can post, www.pale-reflections.com, it helped me a lot to talk to other people with similar problems. If you cannot convince him to talk to a parent or somebody, maybe direct him towards that website - he probably knows that he shouldn't be making himself vomit, I doubt he's in denial that he has a problem.

scuba steve

Making yourself sick is stupid. Done it once or twice before and its horrible. Id say he wants help from you and is too shy to ask or just wants attention

Talliesin

Guest Alpha wrote:

he has a sore throat but apparently just due to a lack of water vapour in his bedroom!

You only need to vomit a few times to start getting a sore throat (just having an illness that causes vomitting can cause it fast enough) whereas it would have to be a poorly ventilated bedroom that had such a dryness problem (though there are rooms like that around).

Focusing on the direct physical side-effects of regular or semi-regular vomitting may be less threatening to him than confronting the fact that either he has bulimia, or he is in danger of developing it:

Sore throats.
Loss of tooth enamel, leading to discolouration and tooth decay.
Open sores on the oesophagus.
Infection of the lungs or sinuses.
Tears in the oesophagus requiring emergency surgery.
Reduction in potassium levels, resulting in heart fluctuations.
Reduction in nutrient intake, resulting in several possible symptoms, of which anaemia is probably the most likely.

Because these are symtoms of vomitting itself, rather than of bulimia per se, he may be more likely to acknowledge them as risks.

In addition to the above symptoms of regular vomitting, some methods of inducing vomitting (e.g. Ipecac abuse) or other behaviour that often goes in tandem with such behaviour (diuretic abuse, laxative abuse, binge dieting, self-harm) would have other symptoms and risks, and you should be watchful for evidence of them.

LegacyUser

The long term consequences are certainly worth pointing out. In the 'I wish I wish I knew then what I know now' sense, being 27 with almost none of my own teeth isn't exactly a consequence I took into account at the time, but it would certainly have made me think twice way back when if I had known.

BUT (each single incidence of) bulimia is more of a quick solution to a short term problem. Few people actually plan binge/purge episodes, at least in the beginning (later on is a different story). Your friend may well see this as a series of unconnected one-offs. However, like having the odd fag, it can be habit forming. While vomiting may be his choice now, but if he keeps doing it, a time may well come when that element of choice is gone and it's purely a compulsion/addiction. He needs to know this really could happen to him. The idea of loosing control and becoming addicted to/reliant upon something does not usually sit too well with the type of person who tends to become bulimic (they often like to feel in control) [obviously this is a generalisation and every person is unique; I mean this very generally].

While reading the bodywhys site is a really good idea, it is also worth being aware that there is a huge number of pro-ana and pro-mia sites out there, which can turn up if you google 'bulimia'. If you're friend hasn't gone looking for information on this topic on the net before, he is certainly better off in ignorance of (the existance of ) sites which promote bulimia as a 'lifestyle choice'. If you think this is new to him, it may be a better call to give him a printed version, rather than send him off to read it online and then get inquisitive.

Finally, just so you can get an idea how frequently this is really happening, look for the following (not exhaustive):
- bloodshot eyeballs/puffy eyes
- smell of strong mints/toothpaste/mouthwash when you wouldn't expect it (like straight after a meal)
- marks around the mouth (esp. small cuts/tears at the sides)
- swollen/painful glands (visible under/just in from of the ears)
- hoarseness
- marks (cuts/welts/callouses) on the back of the dominant hand (from teeth)
- weak/broken nails on dominant hand (compare to other hand to see)
However, all of these may have perfectly innocent explanations, or none may be in evidence despite this being quite a frequent thing. They're just clues.

xzanti

A friend of mine suffered with bulemia for a few years... a doctor recommended the Marino Centre in Fairview... they specialise in councelling and they're methods are quite good apparently... they concentrate on the persons emotions and the cause of the disorder rather than on the whole food issue... Also they will refere him to a doctor who specialises in eating disorders, his potasium levels are probably low if he's vomiting a lot (which can be dangerous) so he may need injections or tablets to help with that... Also they will give him the name of a good dentist who is experienced with bulemia and can help repair his teeth if and when he recovers... However he may be a long way off even admitting to having an eating disorder... Best of luck anyway your obviously a good friend