Should I apologise for bad behaviour

aquila1000

I'm 18 and in college and the last few months have acted completely out of character.At the start of the year I felt lonely,I didnt think I had any true friends and I began to feel very bitter.I wasnt getting along with the people in my course very well and hated my flatmates.But at the end of January I started going out with this guy I met in a sports club.I liked him as a friend but didnt fancy him at all.So after 2weeks I dumped him.But two days after that I felt so lonely and missed his company and said I'd give it another go.He was delighted.Then one night I went out with some friends and I got totally pissed and kissed someone else in the same club where ther was people from the sports club I had met the other guy in and in front of the guy that I fancy the most in the world.I'm not sure whether thay saw me kissin.g the other fellow.So next day I tell the guy I was going out with it was over.The next few weeks I didnt go to college and went out and got drunk at least 4 nights a week.I would walk home on my own not caring if something happened to me.I gave certain people that knew me hardly the time of day.I kissed way too many boys.I cried myself to sleep every single night.One night I even broke down in front of my friends sobbing I had no reason whatsoever just felt so miserable.Contamplated ending it all.Looking back now I know I was seriously depressed.I said quite a lot of things that I regret now to people I cared about.I was very angry and bitter.So this misery went on for six weeks until I got ver ill with glandular fever and was at home for a month wher I managed to sort my head out.What I want to ask is should I apologise to all the people I've hurt including the guy I cheated on?I don't know if I have the courage to do that.I lost a few friends should I explain to them what happened?Or is it too late now should I just move on and put those terrible few weeks out of my mind?II stilll feel depressed but not as bad as I was.I just think i would feel ashamed if I told these people what was wrong with me those few weeks.

Sleepy

You'd be amazed how far an apology will go. You've nothing to lose by saying sorry and can only gain friends back from doing it.

NotMe

It wouldn't do any harm to apologise. I'm sure most people will be understanding, if they're not then move on. There's no need to feel ashamed. Would you rather have people know that you acted the way you did because you were depressed or have them think you were just being a "bitch" for no reason?

The_Conductor

First of all- recognising that there was a problem and feeling remorse towards those you hurt or were nasty to, shows that you do care about your bad behaviour. So- yes, an apology would be in order- and would be a very mature way to close off that particular timespan in your life. However- once you have apologised- move on..... do not continue to beat yourself up over it. You made a mistake, you apologise, you move on...... Its part of growing up- its not easy, we all do things that we regret, learning from them and allowing the experiences to make us wiser as people is part of what life is about.......

Don't be too hard on yourself!

The_B_Man

ye but just make sure u explain the story like u explained it to us. and dont apologise over text.

Zillah

aquilla1000 wrote:

What I want to ask is should I apologise to all the people I've hurt including the guy I cheated on?I don't know if I have the courage to do that.I lost a few friends should I explain to them what happened?Or is it too late now should I just move on and put those terrible few weeks out of my mind?II stilll feel depressed but not as bad as I was.I just think i would feel ashamed if I told these people what was wrong with me those few weeks.

You already know the answer, the best we can do is offer some encouragement. If they were ever really your friends then they'll understand. Just make sure its a real apology, one where you admit it was your fault.

melancholymaidn

i did pretty much the same at one stage .... over the space of a year and a half! i lost friends thru my behaviour but now i can look back and think that it was a stage of my life i had to go thru, im better for it now all because of one thing. my bad behaviour didnt make me a stronger person it only made me realise how weak i could actually be-but apologising to the people i hurt and for the things i did really helped me, and made them feel better at the same time. some refused to understand but my true friends stood by me. i was going thru a tough time and im not entirely sure what the reasons behind it were but i believe everybody will have one of those periods in their lives. just admit you were wrong not only to yourself but to others who you affected, and move on. theres no point killing yourself over past actions-you're obviously sorry for who you hurt. and dont hide behind the ''i dunno if ive the confidence to do it'' thing-its damn hard to do i appreciate that but youll feel better for it

Kersh

If they dont understand then F*** em. They should see your side though, if they are 'true' friends. Just tell em like you told us. If not, we'll be your friends

DAEDULUS

Yeah an appology is a good way to go.

And what I find also is that College is a wierd time, its not quite the High or Low no middle ground of teenage life, but its still wierd and can be depressing at times.

WhiteWashMan

you sound like about 50% of people who go to college.
I was exactly the same, except i spent 3 years sleeping around and making a complete dogs nutts of my life, and generally being a rather unplesant person.

however, i did finally pull myself together and got on with life.

if you feel you need to offer people an apology for yourself, then i say go for it. you, like i did, sound like you need to close out an awful lot of stuff, and just telling someone that you are really just very sorry for the way you acted, and that you relise you had your head up your own arse, will make you feel better. even if they dont care, dont understand, or simply dont want to hear it.

as long as you make the effort, you will feel better for it.

aquila1000

I'm so happy!I called to the house of the person I hurt the most expecting to get the door slammed in my face but she didnt say anything just let me in.So I explained everything.She was very angry that I didnt confide in her how I was feeling at the time but she said it meant so much to her that I came and apologised.So it ended up with both of us crying but we're friends again and last night we went out to the pub and had a great chat.We both agreed that my drinking habits are a big problem probably one of the major reasons I was so depressed.So I'll have to work on that.I called and texted someone else that I hurt but she didnt reply.So today I'm going to get in touch with my other friend I hurt hopefully things will work out with him.At least I've one friend back!

aquila1000

Thanks for alll the replies.It did help me alot and gave me the extra push to go and apologise to them.

Zillah

aquila1000 wrote:

I'm so happy!I called to the house of the person I hurt the most expecting to get the door slammed in my face but she didnt say anything just let me in.So I explained everything.She was very angry that I didnt confide in her how I was feeling at the time but she said it meant so much to her that I came and apologised.So it ended up with both of us crying but we're friends again and last night we went out to the pub and had a great chat.We both agreed that my drinking habits are a big problem probably one of the major reasons I was so depressed.So I'll have to work on that.I called and texted someone else that I hurt but she didnt reply.So today I'm going to get in touch with my other friend I hurt hopefully things will work out with him.At least I've one friend back!

Delighted.

WhiteWashMan

i did the same recently to someone who used to be a friend of mine.
it feels good to know that you have gone out of your way to say sorry, even if it isnt recipricated.
at least you tried. this time, it meant something to someone for you, and im happy for you.

drdre

just apologise its not the end of the world:D

*Page*

its never too late to say sorry!

but when you say it mean it!