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Humorous pseudo-legend...

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  • 23-06-2005 10:21pm
    #1
    elvenscout742
    Closed Accounts Posts: 206 ✭✭


    I wrote this when the TA of my "Writing for Life" class instructed me to compose a piece inspired by a collection of eight elaborately decorated brass buttons held together so that their backs could not be seen by a string. I decided to weave a legend regarding the mythic history of the buttons. I draw it from several sources - Paolo Iainicus Flaya the Wise is based loosely on the Count de St. Germain, for instance, and it is modelled on some elaborate conspiracy theories I found in this book. (The narrator is the rich and famous archaeologist named Fródigar Gúnnarsson ;) .)
    * * * * *

    Legend has it that these buttons were worn by King David when he slew Goliath. They became relics of his house and were regarded as having the power to bestow good luck on those who wear them until the time of Jesus, at which point they were stolen by two Roman legionnaires named Buttonicus and Coatus (from whom we get the words "button" and "coat").

    The soldiers sold it off to Paolo Iainicus Flaya the Wise for a miniscule price. Flaya then sold his soul to the Devil in exchange for immortality. He has been secretly controlling European politics for the last two thousand years, enticing people with the magical powers of the nine buttons (one was destroyed by the combined efforts of Grigorii Rasputin and a young Heinrich Himmler). (They were strung together to prevent such vandalism from occurring again.)

    The first paragraph is a summary of some of the content of an Aramaic manuscript (written c. 50 AD) that I found buried in a chest during my travels in the Sinai Desert. Most of the second paragraph (outside the brackets) comes from a book penned by Brother Petrus the Mad of Venice in 1272, which I found while randomly pulling up bits of the floor of a church. The portions in brackets comes from a group of entries in the secret memoirs of Rasputin, which also found their way into my possession. The fact that these three accounts, each written with no knowledge of the existence of the other two, corroborate each other is just more proof of the factuality of my account.

    Sadly, I cannot prove the existence of the three books, as all were burnt to a crisp when my library was destroyed by a fire last month.


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