A little feedback...

Random Boy

OK, one of the serious thread topics people seem to have here is all about relationships. I'm going to share an experience I just had that really p1ssed me off. Some guys might also learn from this.

So I was going out with this girl for the last month. We got on like a house on fire, she was pretty fit - a tiny bit on the shy and immature side (she was also two years younger than me) but you know, that can be forgiven. We just used to go out together, go to the cinema, go for drinks and dinner, all that sort of stuff. We had the same musical tastes, it was nice. For me, it was also great because we were both in the middle of exam time, and so meetings were truncated to once a week or so. Also I could plausably keep her a little at arm's length. I don't advocate getting too close too soon. Even if you sleep with her (this seriously complicates matters - it's not for nothing that they have the line about "when sex raises it's ugly head") try to keep your distance as much as possible. If you do love the girl, make pretty damn sure it may well be mutual before you tell her. Anyway, we were getting along famously until last Friday night we had what I can only describe as a "moment." you know, full of mush and sweetness and light and I was thinking "You know what? Just maybe." Now it's not like I totally neglected the girl, we texted each other every day and talked on the phone every now and then, compared notes on how our exams were going, that sort of stuff, but then the day of my last exam, I'm finished and in a great mood she calls me to break it all off. I wasn't overly chuffed with her telling me this - she gave me some line about her being scared or something... She's a very shy and timid sort of person, so, that was grand. Then she says she'd really like us to remain friends. "Yeah sure" I'm thinking, but OK. So I start saying that I'll need a few days to get used to the idea (I mean, I did like her) and all this and we're texting back and forth, and all of a sudden she says that I've got the wrong idea. By "friends" she means we'll just say "hi" to each other if we see each other in college or on the street, but there's to be no other contact. How stupid did I feel?! So yeah, I'm pretty pissed off about all that now. I feel like a right sap. I now think I was just emotional support during exam time. Exams are over, so are we. Any comments or ideas on what the hell she was thinking, cos your guess is as good as mine...

Son_of_Belial

I kind of see where you're coming from. However, it looks like it meant a little more to you than you're letting on. Just count yourself lucky that she didn't break it off further on down the line. Seems she was just afraid of commitment and was scared off after your "moment." If she's as shy and immature as you say that could very well be the case. Also

I now think I was just emotional support during exam time.

seems to be about the gist of it. Sure there's plenty more fish in the sea and the summer's only just begun. Don't write it all off over some neurotic chick!

Amz

Son of Belial, it's impossible to read your post on the cloud skin.

Larianne

^ just highlight his text. U shuld be able to read it then.

jcoote

yeah u got it pretty much right there man maybe u were a little bit more into her than u are lettin on ( as son of belial said) but it did seem like u were only there as a stress reliever...thats hard luck man sorry

aidan_walsh

Larianne wrote:

^ just highlight his text. U shuld be able to read it then.

Why have to bother? Just use the regular typeface, ffs...

Random Boy: Meh, forget and move on...

Son_of_Belial

Good Lord!! I like my font! Pssh... The regular typeface is so boring... Anyway Random Boy, look on the bright side. Remember American Pie? "I was used! Sweet!" (or words to that effect.) Could have been a damn sight worse buddy.

I didnt know or had forgotten that you can write like this...

Anyway enough of that.Clearly this lass just didnt feel enough for you.
There may be more to it than that but move on to the next project.

By the way, saying hi when you meet the odd time on the street but ruling out everything else that friends do (like being there and spending time with each other) is not friendship.
Asking you to do that is a rudeness and an ignorance of your hurt that should be suffecient for you to say good riddence tbh.
Thats just the way that you should see it and use that analysis to urge yourself to move on.

She's entitled to feel the way she does and entitled not to want to be with you.
You have the same entitlement to not to be with anyone you dont want to be with either.

0utshined

Earthman wrote:

By the way, saying hi when you meet the odd time on the street but ruling out everything else that friends do (like being there and spending time with each other) is not friendship.

Bingo.

Random Boy delete her number and forget her, you don't need people like that.

sceptre

Son_of_Belial wrote:

Good Lord!! I like my font! Pssh... The regular typeface is so boring...

You're using the exact same typeface (or font) as the rest of us, just a different colour. Who cares.

Back to the regular service, what Earthman said. She just decided she'd rather not. At your ages it could be for any reason or no reason.

The_B_Man

just be glad she didnt dump u durion the exams! i had it durin the leavin! killer!

anyway, ye u were dumped. thats how it goes. it wont be the last. its no big deal. feels like sh*t for a while but u'll get over it.

Dizzyblabla

emm.. maybe she didn't want to hurt you while you were doing the exams? I did it once *hangs head in shame*, and waited til after we finished the repeats, although I did kind of hint at it before then, it still wasn't done until the exams were over...

dSTAR

Water, Bridge, Over, Under!

Sounds like she got cold feet and is not ready for a relationship.

Thats fine.

Just move on. Who knows who you could meet tomorrow?

Random Boy

Thanks guys, I am well over it though. The main problem I had was how I felt such an idiot over the whole "let's be friends" or actually "let's not." I mean, it was only a little over a month, and when I wrote the original thread I was a little more raw than now. I even have a meeting set up on Thursday with some girl I kissed about six weeks ago, so I'm fine with it. Some pretty good insights though. I like this one:

Earthman wrote:

By the way, saying hi when you meet the odd time on the street but ruling out everything else that friends do (like being there and spending time with each other) is not friendship. Asking you to do that is a rudeness and an ignorance