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Heaven or Hell?

  • 11-06-2005 10:41am
    #1
    bara66as
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭


    Ever enjoyed a beautiful Irish day and then stepped inside an Irish theatre only to find the rain is pissing down?

    Well, this may have seemed like a good idea when artistic directors and stage designers were wiping the latte froth from their upper lips, but poor Deirdre nearly ended up on her rump three times and Naoise could have done with a pair of galoshes to steady his gait.

    when I phoned the Abbey to order tickets for 'Cry From Heaven' I was 'warned' that there would be simulated sex and abundant nudity. what I wasn't warned about was the endless running time and the fact that the above mentioned nudity would feature a couple of scrawny lads fighting to stay upright (one hesitates to use the word "erect"). Is there anything worse than the sight of underfed, under-sunned, basement dwelling Irish actors prancing around in the pelt under a sodden sky?

    Well yes, actually. There's the lousy set, the irritating and ever-present white noise groaning from the speakers. There's the absurd chalk dust on abercrombie costumes and the mock swords and the revolving black wheel which serves only to remind one of a clock and the perfect Irish weather outside being wasted on someone else.

    And what of the play itself?:

    -She will bring sorrow to Ulster.
    -let us kill her.
    -let us kill her now.
    -No. Let us not kill her. Let us spare her and then one day, possibly in Act II, I will wed her myself.

    Write the rest of it yourself. Change the names. Submit it to the Abbey and wait for the cheque in the post. In the meantime, I can only offer my sorrows to Deirdre of the bruised backside who is truly suffering for, and falling on, her art.


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