work friends

tomsie100

Just thought id ask you a question. Why is it so hard to make true friends at work. Im friendly with the people i work with and like them. But why is it so hard to make long lasting friendship with them.

dregin

Because the best of friends can sometimes turn into the worst of enemys if things turn sour. Keeping personal stuff outta the work place usually works out best in the long run I think.

Sarky

From my own experiences, it's because everyone you meet at work is an inveterate cretin of the absolute highest levels of stupidity and loathsomeness, and you'd sooner sign your soul away to eternal torment for two quid and a pack of crisps than try to befriend the w*nkers.





But that might be just me...

jonny68

Im still friends with my mate who was my old supervisor from my job in 1989,we used to go out after work every Friday solid for over a year in 1990 along with other lads but everyone drifted away but i remined in touch with him and still see him every few weeksor thereabouts he has a famiuly,etc now so obviously cant go out like he used to but you CAN make lasting friends at work

secret_squirrel

I personally think its hard to make true friends anywhere. Its not necessarily a bad thing that you dont form long lasting friendships with people at work - just remember you are pushed together for 8 hours a day in a very artificial environment. You may not actually have that much in common outside of work.

[edit] three posts at the same time 9.24 is that a record!!

Wertz

I got my best mate a job with a small firm I was working with a few years back, as he was down on his luck. It was great....for the first couple of days. Then we ended up arguing over work **** when we weren't working and vice versa. It eventually ended with him being sacked (cos he couldn't do the job right)...naturally it was my fault lol
IMO business and personal lives should be kept apart to some extent. Nothing wrong with socialising with colleagues but hanging round with them 24/7 is to be avoided...

simu

Sarky wrote:

From my own experiences, it's because everyone you meet at work is an inveterate cretin of the absolute highest levels of stupidity and loathsomeness, and you'd sooner sign your soul away to eternal torment for two quid and a pack of crisps than try to befriend the w*nkers.





But that might be just me...

He speaks the truth. Close the thread now.

KdjaCL

You can make friends at work once they dont work in same area as you or have any effect on your work.


kdjac

Mac daddy

best advice keep your work friends in work and personal friends for the weekends.

having work friends is okay until the bitching and the backstabbing starts wich will happen always does.

0utshined

KdjaC wrote:

You can make friends at work once they dont work in same area as you or have any effect on your work.


kdjac

Yep, that's about it.

rymus

Sarky wrote:

But that might be just me...

No no, it's certainly not just you. Trust me on that one.

Zaph

I've actually met two of my closest mates through work, however it appears I may be in the minority in that regard round here...

HOT_ALPHA_MALE

Because you can choose your friends. You can't choose your workmates.

Plus you probably spend more time with them than your friends.

0utshined

Zaph, I've met really good friends in work too but like KdjaC was saying they don't have any effect on my work so we can leave any work hassles at work.

DublinWriter

tomsie100 wrote:

Just thought id ask you a question. Why is it so hard to make true friends at work. Im friendly with the people i work with and like them. But why is it so hard to make long lasting friendship with them.

In my experience, it's just an Irish thing.

I've worked all over Europe, and made some of the closest friends I'll ever have in work situations there, especially in the UK and Belgium.

Sleepy

I made some of the best friends I'll ever have through part-time jobs when I was in college. I get on well with the crowd I work with now, a few of them I'd definitely consider mates but I don't think any of them would constitute a life-long friend.

Kernel

Some of my best mates were people I worked with or am currently working with for years now. I wouldn't like to work somewhere I didn't have any friends.

LegacyUser

i get on with the people i work with, but wouldn't hang out with em, i think there should definitly be your work mates and your propper mates, you see enough of your work mates anyway.

IANOC

yup bringing personal things to work is a no no
i find i get on great with people in work when i keep my mouth shut lol

Lola123

I think it totally depends on the type of place you work and what the people are like. In certain work places you're playing the part of the professional the whole time so you don't really get to be totally yourself which makes it difficult to really be friends with someone.
Having said that, I found my best mate in work. We spend all day together because we sit beside each other too. Never fight with her though cos we just seem to know when to keep out of each others way, etc plus we have the exact same sense of humour.

BaZmO*

zaph wrote:

I've actually met two of my closest mates through work, however it appears I may be in the minority in that regard round here...

Yeah same here. Two of my closest mates are people I worked with over 11 years ago.

There's no set rules about being friends with workmates and it depends on the individuals involved. Friendship is a two-way street.

B.

Whatever_fools

secret_squirrel wrote:

I personally think its hard to make true friends anywhere. Its not necessarily a bad thing that you dont form long lasting friendships with people at work - just remember you are pushed together for 8 hours a day in a very artificial environment. You may not actually have that much in common outside of work.

[edit] three posts at the same time 9.24 is that a record!!

I feel sorry for you if you honestly believe "you cant make true friends anywhere". Of course you can and if you havent been lucky enough to find any then thats just sad. I for one am a true believer in the value of friendships, I couldnt be without mine...they are just like an extended family to me. Priceless in fact.

secret_squirrel

How does

secret_squirrel wrote:

its hard to make true friends anywhere

equate to

Whatever_fools wrote:

"you cant make true friends anywhere"

Try reading before (mis)quoting.

Just to clarify - to my mind a true friend fits the following - known them for years been with you through the highs and low, can ask virtually anything of them etc etc etc.

By the way - appropriate nickname.

Third_Echelon

KdjaC wrote:

You can make friends at work once they dont work in same area as you or have any effect on your work.


kdjac

Yeah id find that to be generally true. The people who I see out of work/at the weekends etc are people who are not in my team/department.

The thing about work is, as others have said, you are in a place where the people that you interact with are there through no choice of your own....

I find that there are some people in work who I would normally not associate with their type outside of work.

"Peoples is Peoples" as a russian guy once said... you just have to get on with it...

hoody

it all depends on where you work. i imagine it'd be hard in an office because there's a set way of behaving - it can be hard to stand out
but i used to work in a hotel, which was a great place to make friends, and some of the people i met there. i'd regard them as my closest friends now.
but i reckon that's because of the working conditions, they could be brutal, but they could be hilarious as well.
plus, we used be allowed drink in the bar at the end of a shift, so we kinda bonded that way as well.
working in an office now and the age differences and egos make it hard to meet anyone you'd consider a "friend" rather than a colleague

OLDYELLAR

when i was in spar i made loads a frends , we went out every weekend together and had a right laugh at work , when i was in the factory I sorta made frends but it was more like , some young people revolting about the oldies lookin down on us and being complete whiney twa*s but now im in the office id class the people i work with to be more like acquaintances than anything , there quite seriuous and I think the real me may scare them a little ya know , there a bit too quite for me , a bit uptight , altho were meant to be having a worknight soon for a guy leaving so I guess I`ll see them outside the office and see what there really like then .