Do you lead people on?

jarvis_Cocker

This is a question to all the females out there, and probably one that's been posted many times before! All people like playing games and all people change how they feel about others, ok? I was seeing a girl for a few months and it was probably one of the more strange sits I've been in. When we went out we had a great time together and she seemed v comfortable with me, but if I wanted to see her again, she was sometimes evasive and would put me on the long finger, maybe telling me she wouldn't be 'able' to see me again for a couple of weeks etc.,. I would respond by saying politely, fine, see you whenever and expect that to be that! I would then receive a text saying thanks for a good night, I have to get you back. Instead of doing the intelligent thing and ignoring the text and leaving things over (after this had happened more than once) I would tamely go back and meet again. Eventually I got pi**ed and told her I liked her a lot and she said it wouldn't be right to see me again! Fair enough, you get over it and move on, but she was back in my local on a weekend a couple of weeks later. I wasn't around thankfully and wasn't going to go running after her! Is this normal behaviour for women? Would you go out on a one-to-one with someone you didn't want to be with, more than 5 or 6 times? It had been said that we were 'just friends' and maybe I was expecting too much, but I'm pretty certain she was aware of how I perceived her and there was little confusion. I'm a typical (maybe not) dumb male and as such, amn't great with the game playing but would like any insight on this as it was quite a frustrating experience.

kasintahan

I got asked by a girl a few weeks ago 'at what point should she inform a guy, who has started chatting to her a pub/club that she has a boyfriend'. I suggested she wear a badge...

I know this isn't quite the same situation but it's possible that she's just as confused as you, but in reverse, and only wants a 'friend'*

*the jury's still out on whether it's possible for a male and female to maintain a friendship. I'm thinking not - but I'm a cynic.

koneko

Err... what? Is it normal behaviour for women?

One bad experience does not say anything about 50% of the population.

marshmallow

I think it's something that most girls/women do.. they like knowing that they have 'control' over the possible relationship. some would find it amusing, to play with the guy's head until it reaches the point that he explodes. (if you understand.. the guy would be so confused)

on the other hand, it is possible for a guy and girl to be friends one-on-one. It may be harder if one or both of you have partners and if that is the case then it's all about trust in the relationships..

WhiteWashMan

its all a conspiracy.
she has been planning this for years with your family and friends, just to wind you up.

either that, or she just has other things that are better to do, and you are a welcome diversion away from it all every now and then.

if something hasnt happened after the first few dates, then gee, get a clue.

hardly game playing, just you dont seem to see the signs that she isnt really interested in a relationship with you.

sutty

koneko wrote:

Err... what? Is it normal behaviour for women?

One bad experience does not say anything about 50% of the population.

I have to say, I've had it happen quite a few times. but then again there are other factors to this. It could be the guy's fault just as much for not noticing the "signs" the girl might be giving off (or for that fact, reading them wrong) It can also be the woman wanting a friend but using "charm" and "fliting" to attract the male "friend" to her (might be that she sees this as the only way of getting male attenchen)

There can also be an underlying attraction between one or the two parties in the friend ship which can cause problems where one persons intenchens might be misunderstood.

As I said there are lots of reasons. You could prob go on all day about it.
Best to mark it down to experience and hope you dont make the same mistake.

Beruthiel

marshmallow wrote:

I think it's something that most girls/women do.. they like knowing that they have 'control' over the possible relationship. some would find it amusing, to play with the guy's head until it reaches the point that he explodes

utter rubbish
only idiots act like that and are to be avoided at all costs.
if you allow someone to treat you like this then you get what you deserve.
I for one, would not waste my time on a person who behaved in this manner

jarvis_Cocker

Hi Guys,

Thanks for all the replies and good to hear the different views!! The general feeling is what I had pretty much expected anyhow!! I was f**cked around but have no one to blame but meself, will be more of a w**ker myself the next time!

sutty

jarvis_Cocker wrote:

will be more of a w**ker myself the next time!

No need to be a w**ker, just dont let your-self fall for the same thing or if you feel she is leeding you on, just walk away or ask her where it is going.

In_the_sea

look mate...she's not worth it coz if u get the evasive from a girl..she's not interested...if she liked u she wud make time for you and b a little more caring. u need to find someone better! you deserve it!

Bottle_of_Smoke

marshmallow wrote:

I think it's something that most girls/women do.. they like knowing that they have 'control' over the possible relationship. some would find it amusing, to play with the guy's head until it reaches the point that he explodes. (if you understand.. the guy would be so confused)

on the other hand, it is possible for a guy and girl to be friends one-on-one. It may be harder if one or both of you have partners and if that is the case then it's all about trust in the relationships..

I wouldn't say most, but there are quite a few. I've certainly had the "pleasure" once or twice. Worth mentioning it's not just women who do it.

Anyway after the last thread I posted I'm prob not all too welcome on this one!

Jarvis - Paragraphs please, I only read half your post then the replies, and I can't see how anyone would blame me.