Really REally very bad joke. It's bad.

Steveire

Why can't you make condoms out of stainless steel?

Cos it's not cementite.




I'll let myself out...

Capt'n Midnight

Are you sure ?
only asking because submarines are made from steel, and they are long, hard and full of seamen.

Anima

.....

Steveire

why did the bear dissolve when he stepped into the water?



he was a polar bear!

Djddd1

Hmmmm? Are you eating pengiuns by any chance?

David19

Djddd1 wrote:

Hmmmm? Are you eating pengiuns by any chance?

It took me a few seconds to realise what you were talking about. Lol I was like wtf

Steveire

Djddd1 wrote:

Hmmmm? Are you eating pengiuns by any chance?

I don't get it.

Capt'n Midnight

During the French Revolution a priest, a lawyer and an engineer are about to be guillotined.

The priest puts his head on the block, they pull the rope and nothing happens -- he declares that he's been saved by divine intervention -- so he's let go.

The lawyer is put on the block, and again the rope doesn't release the blade, he claims he can't be executed twice for the same crime and he is set free too.

They grab the engineer and shove his head into the guillotine, he looks up at the release mechanism and says, "Wait a minute, I see your problem...."

=====================================

One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost."

God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest."

The man replied, "Okay, great!"

But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam."

The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.

God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"

=======================================

You might be an engineer if . . .

when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

Dave

Love it!!

Tar.Aldarion

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

One day a group of engineers got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. They picked one engineer to go and tell Him that they were done with Him. The engineer walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost."

God listened patiently to the man and after the engineer was done talking, God said, "Very well! How about this? Let's have a man-making contest."

The man replied, "Okay, great!"

But God added, "Now we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam."

The engineers said, "Sure, no problem." He bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.

God just looked at him and said, "No, no, no. Go get your own dirt!"

=======================================

You might be an engineer if . . .

when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

hahahahha nice!

Tar.Aldarion

Djddd1 wrote:

Hmmmm? Are you eating pengiuns by any chance?

nice one too

Shrimp

Where was the mechanic from?




Greece.. pretty Crap.. made it up just now.. so..

kawaii

Shrimp wrote:

Where was the mechanic from?




Greece.. pretty Crap.. made it up just now.. so..

Worst joke I've heard in a loooooong long time.

Tar.Aldarion

are jokes meant to make you hurt,hurt so much

SonicDoom2005

Whats black and white and extremly dangerous?
A penguin with a switchblade

*stares at shoes*

Tar.Aldarion

whos the leader of the hankys?




the hanky chief *bam*

theCzar

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

You might be an engineer if . . .

when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

i really shouldn't laugh, but

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -ohgodkillme- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

phantom_lord

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

You might be an engineer if . . .

when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

"why did the bear dissolve when he stepped into the water?



he was a polar bear!"


So my chemistry teacher was right.....it did come in handy one day...

el lupo

What do you call an engineer from Kerry who eats donkeys?




An asal-ater

Remember a lecturer told that incollege and we had to abandon the class because people were laughing too much!

Capt'n Midnight

where do you a keep horse ?
in astable !

and if you have a horse and a donkey ?
a bistable

and if you sell the horse what can you survive with ?
a monostable

saw a pair of swans on the canal this morning and thought to my self
"cygnet generators"

dearg_doom

Two engineers were chatting, one was impressd with his friend's new bike.

1: Sweet bike there, that must have cost ye a bomb!

2: Nah I'm an engineer not a millionaire; I got it for free!

1: Cool, how?

2: Well, I scored this hot blonde bird at a party last week and after it when we went to her gaff she stripped naked and shouted to me: 'Take anything you want from me, bigboy' .... so I took her bike!

1: ...