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Tasteless Jokes

  • 03-06-2005 11:04am
    #1
    bringitdown
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,002 ✭✭✭


    Why do women wear make up and perfume?
    Because they're ugly and they smell.

    What's got two legs and bleeds?
    Half a cat.

    What's black and screams?
    Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

    What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
    Stephen hawking in a housefire.


Comments

  • #2
    petes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,382 ✭✭✭petes


    Anymore of these they are great for Fridays.


  • #3
    dossininwork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 28 ✭dossininwork


    What's black and screams?
    Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

    You bad..but funny!


  • #4
    MooShop
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 974 ✭✭✭MooShop


    terrible, but goddamn funny :D:D


  • #5
    jaggeh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,997 ✭✭✭jaggeh


    The Little Blind Girl
    A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?"
    Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning."
    So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed.
    The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again."
    So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see."
    To which the mother replied, "April fool!"


  • #6
    j0e
    Closed Accounts Posts: 496 ✭✭j0e


    little boy on the cliff,
    There was a little boy standing at the edge of a cliff crying his little eyes out, A passerby saw this an came over to comfort the child, He asked "whats wrong?" to which the boy pointed to the edge of the cliff. As the man looked over he seaw 2 bodies a man and a woman broken and impaled on the rocks, the man asked "are those ure parents?".
    At this point the boy began to cry even more. The man looked around to find help, but could find no one! and with undone his belt and said "looks like its not ure lucky day kid"


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  • #7
    emc2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,357 ✭✭✭emc2


    A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

    The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left breast and screams, then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more agony. She pushes her knee and screams; likewise she pushes her ankle and screams. Everywhere
    she touches makes her scream.
    The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"

    "Well, no" she says, "I'm actually a blonde."
    "I thought so," the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."


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