Girlfriend is a virgin, wants to have sex. (Help)

LegacyUser

Basically my girlfriend is a virgin but has just told me that she wants to have sex, I know this was inevitable, but she has been going on a lot about how all of her friends have told how sore it is etc.
I was hoping that someone could give me some tips on how to make it as painfree as possible for he. Would a bit of KYjelly help in this capacity?

thanks for any suggestions

Alana

Well it's not sore for everyone....I just found it completely unpleasurable...but then there's the working at it part..now that's lots of fun

Yes jelly would be a good idea, but what might help alot is if the two of ye fool around a lot before ye have sex, ie get her more turned on, less nervous, more relax, more comfortable about being naked around you and getting used to seeing u naked and figuring out stuff (could of put that better, but loooong day) . What happened to me on my first time was we just went straight into having sex, which was not a good idea-at all. Just get to be comfortable around each other-don't have sex right away.

Also for the love of god use condoms, and I'd advise that she go on the pill, particularly if, I don't know how old you are, but if still in skool or whatever added protection helps the worry factor that might ensue after...but she'd need to be on it for at least a month before ye have sex, just to be sure its working, body's adjusted, blah, blah, blah.

Advice-fool around
- get protected
-talk about it
-if you're going to get naked with someone and you're going out with them and you've made the "grown up" decision to have sex, you should be able to talk about it like grown ups

Apologees for condscending tone, hope it helps a lil...

tinkerbell

Yup, agree with Alana. Get her to go on the pill first of all - since you obviously plan on doing it frequently, then you're better off to be safe than sorry. She shouldn't be embarrassed about going on the pill, if you're gonna be having sex, then you should be responsible.

Use condoms, the last thing you both want is for her to get pregnant. You can never be too safe. At least with using the pill and condoms, if one method fails, the other method will protect you as well.

Get some KY-Jelly, it'll help. And as Alana said, get comfortable around each other

Shabadu

Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. Repeat as neccessary.

nesf

It's obvious, but might aswell say it

Take it slow and gentle to start with. You really don't know if it's going to be very painful for her or not (this assumes you've followed all the advice above). Keep yourself controlled to start with and take it slowly step by step. Build it up slowly etc.

I'd agree with all the advice above, especially on the foreplay part.

One important point. If you too are a virgin (no shame if you are) then you might have a bit of trouble with what I describe above. I'm not going to get into the details but you should be able to figure out why.

OY

I am basically going to reiterate waht people have already said. Foreplay is definately the key. The more time you invest and the more fun you have beforehand the better it will be. For both of you. As crude as it sounds, getting the juices flowing is the best thing you can do.
And as Alana has said, being relaxed is the most important thing. Have a glass of wine together beforehand and build it up slowly. Don't just pick a night and jump into the bed.
(On that note...Do not get drunk)
You might want to try to not put so much emphasis on it. Being a guy, i am not sure what it is like first time for a girl but the more i hear the more i feel that the hype is unfair. If this is a serious relationship then you guys have a long time to figure out what suits you both.

Good luck and have fun!

- OY

Greazo

Ill agree with what others as saying to take things slowly,also the surroundings must be right,i know it sounds a bit mad but maybe book into a nice Hotel or something and have a nice relaxing evening before retiring for the evening..enjoy

Alana

oo a hotel, now that would be good, ala Pacey and the krazy lady in Dawsons Creek style (it was during my leaving cert...id nothing else to do...granted there was study but procrastinating soooo good...anyway,)...but then again depending on how old you are that might not be the easiest thing to do...discuss it, she may prefer somewhere more familar...either way set aside LOTS of time, where you know you won't b bothered

jackal

As for the pain aspect of it - each girl is different. My first g/f was a hornbag, but a virgin. When we had sex for the first time she said she felt a bit of pain and a "pop" but the pain was gone in a minute. (unfortunately so was I!). A bit of k.y. wont hurt.

My second was also a virgin, but different. She had some issues with a bad experience, and was tighter than fort knox. Took months of talking and messing and experimenting, but got there in the end though (and am still getting there...thank jeebus).

Don't worry too much. Remember, you are only going through what everybody else in the whole world has to do at some stage, so dont feel too worried about it!

Altheus

Have you done everything up until penetration?

If not, do lots of oral etc, and make sure she's completely at ease right up until the point. Lube shouldnt be nesscessary if she's horny and ready, but then again these things never exactly go to plan. Have some KY at the ready.

As far as the physical act goes, gently and slowly does it. Use your fingers, make sure your both exceptional comfortable, take lots of time and whatever you do, do not try anything fancy!