Choose Mayo

KevIRL

Choose Mayo

Choose pain, heartache, depression...choose to place
your faith in false gods adorned with tight shorts,
false tans and braids...chose whether or not to wear
your county colours for fear of ridicule should you be
at the wrong end of another hammering...choose false
hope at the start of each FBD Cup campaign.

Choose Galway as the enemy, Roscommon as an annoyance,
Sligo as soccer heads, Leitrim as your favourite
underdogs...choose to wish Padraig Joyce was born our
side of the border...choose McHale Park as mecca, Tuam
as a hay shed, Hyde as a hell-hole...choose to park in
the old bacon factory, stand under the score board,
watch the girls go by with fake tan dripping from the
night before.

Choose whether to travel up to Croker the day before
or the morning of the big match...choose whether or
not to take home that Tipp girl you met in
Roddys...choose a big mighty fry before the match in
your sisters place...choose too many pints before the
match...choose the Big Tree after the match...choose
to go on the pi$s even though we lost again.

Choose to hope that Maughan finally gets it right,
O'Mahony hangs around if Maughan doesn't...choose to
forget Holmes but thank him for the league
title...choose to dream about what it would have been
like if we had won in 1996, choose to forget about
1997 and 2004.

Choose to be a Garda, Civil Servant, plasterer,
carpenter, plumber, electrician, teacher,
nurse...choose a flat in Drumcondra, Phibsboro,
Rathmines...choose to buy a house in Ballycullen,
Carpenterstown, Lucan...choose Rody Bolands, the
Portobello, Flannerys, Coppers, McGowans...choose the
Manhattan, Giggs Place for eating.

Choose to leave your place of birth at the tender age
of 17...choose to go to college in Galway, Sligo, UL,
UCD or get the start with the big brother in
Dublin...choose only to return home for Christmas,
Easter, the local town festival, Connacht Championship
fixtures...choose whether or not to apply for a job in
the one local factory and accept half your current
wage in the hope that life will be better than the rat
race in the big smoke.

Choose Cox's, Rockys, Mantra, Long Necks to
drink...choose Baxter, Volex, Coca Cola to
work...choose Breaffy House, Castlecourt Hotel, Hotel
Westport, Pontoon Bridge, Downhill Hotel to get
married...choose Enniscrone for holidays...choose the
Westhern, The Cannacht Telegraph, the Mayo News, Mis
Whest Radio.

Choose long summer days in the bog, driving a tractor
at 12, going to the local mart as a big day
out...choose your first car a souped up Jap import, on
your mothers insurance, don't tax it until you are
caught...choose the site your father leaves you and to
build a unimaginatively designed mansion on it.

Choose the two teacher school for primary education,
the big school in town for secondary...choose to go
down town for lunch, play pool in the pub, hope the
convent girls notice you...choose getting a pint in
the local at 16, seeing your father in the local
disco, thinking you scored because you kissed a
girl...choose to stand outside the church at Sunday
mass.

Choose Mayo.

kaimera

heh. I do find these amusing

Flukey

Of all the counties in Ireland, the one that most wants to win the All-Ireland Senior Football title is Mayo. They have won it before, 1936, 1950 and 1951, but I think that at present they want to win it more than anyone.

In Hurling, it is probably Limerick.

Danno

Class!

Danno

Flukey wrote:

In Hurling, it is probably Limerick.

Waterford???

Up the Deise!

Flukey

Waterford are indeed up there too along with Galway, as would Laois in the football.

KevIRL

Flukey wrote:

In Hurling, it is probably Limerick.

Nah. Its Waterford

Lemlin

And I think in football you'll find its Cavan. Sure the entire county goes mad when the team just wins a game!