omg - I'm a woman!

LegacyUser

Not really, but I do seem to spend longer than any woman fixing my hair in the morning. The problem is I'm trying to lose a couple of stone (mostly around my huge man-breasts) so I'm going to the gym at least three times a week. I sweat like a pig and wash my hair when I shower afterwards. The trouble is when I wake up the next morning my hair is standing up all over the place (think of the worst cow-lick you've ever seen) and even when I use enough gel to drown a household pet, I can't be sure there isn't some bit at the back still sticking up. I feel like that guy in the ad that gets swung around his bedroom by the gorilla. It's so bad, if I haven't been to the gym I try not to wash my hair when I shower. With three days dirt in there it seems to behave itself. Besides keeping a box of cat-litter next to my bed to rub my head in, what can I do to tame my hair?

Beruthiel

'Lilla wrote:

what can I do to tame my hair?

well...
there's always the obvious,
get it cut to a style that's easy to keep?

garthv

Shave it all off, Itll get rid of the cows lick and if you dont like it just wait for it to grow back

Evil Phil

Yeah shave your head, looks better if your carrying weight anyway.

tman

buzz cut that mofo tbh.
#3 all over

Canis Lupus

Wash your hair in the morning that way u won't have slept on it.

monkeyfudge

Canis Lupus wrote:

Wash your hair in the morning that way u won't have slept on it.

Yep. This is the most obvious solution. It's what I do... and I've got pretty big hair these days.

the jew

you think you're a woman? the other day i watched an hour of friends, an hour of hollyoaks, then the oc and finished the day with desparate housewives!!!!!!!!!

Beruthiel

the jew wrote:

you think you're a woman? the other day i watched an hour of friends, an hour of hollyoaks, then the oc and finished the day with desparate housewives!!!!!!!!!

keep it on topic jew
reading the charter would also help
B

ARGINITE

tman wrote:

buzz cut that mofo tbh.
#3 all over

What you want is a #1 followed by your best friend Mach3. Then when ever your shaving your face, you can do your head at the same time. No more problems.

BEAT

you dont need to shave it all off, maybe a trim would do you good.
Too much gel will make it hard and flaky tbh, what you want to do is wet it down in the morning and slick it back with a tiny bit of oil. Get urself a bottle of baby oil and put a tiny bit in your hands, lather up and slick back.
dont use too much or you will look greasy.

WhiteWashMan

or just have a shower in the morning like the rest of the world.

eyebrows

make sure it's totally dry before going to bed and it wont be as bad the next morning... or totally soke it in the morning then dry it off then put on a little gel and it shouldn't be too bad.

TerrorFirmer

I also have an apocalyptic hairline....

I keep it short, and gel it into a decent style that manages to control it decently whilst still looking good.

Longer it gets, the more untamable it is. I've tried many sorts of gel but once it gets past that crucial border from short to longer-short it spirals out of control like a wild tornado.

Don't let it take you over, shear it off!

/Okay, my hair isnt as bad as I make it sound here....

LegacyUser

Had unruly hair whilst growing it, condition it at night and dry thoroughly before going to bed. Soak your head in the morning if it's still crap.

Wez

I had that same problem not too long ago.. Now I shower in the mornings, or have a shower and make sure it's completely dry.. One time it was stciking all over the place and I threw in some gel and made it a complete mess! Looked ferking brilliant! lol

funk-you

Canis Lupus wrote:

Wash your hair in the morning that way u won't have slept on it.

there's your solution right there.

LegacyUser

Washing my hair in the morning makes it even worse! Did anyone see that tiger in Father of the Pride when he got a good hand at poker and his hair shot up into a ball of fur? That's kinda what happens to me. I usually try to keep my hair short but even if it's only 9mm long it sticks straight out from my head after washing. I try to keep it short in a style that's easy to keep, but apart from going to the barber every two weeks there's not much I can do

grimsbymatt

Beruthiel wrote:

keep it on topic jew
reading the charter would also help
B

Very South Park!

PeadarofAodh

I usually wash mine the night before, then in the morning soak it completely with warm water, then towel vigorously dry and then apply gel. Keeps it nice and controlled

Victor

Maybe if you didn't wash your hair 27 times a week, it wouldn't act up so much?

Third_Echelon

Its summer time.... #2 blade all over....

kstanl

Stick the iron on medium heat and you're sorted.

ferdi

Evil Phil wrote:

Yeah shave your head, looks better if your carrying weight anyway.

could you be any more wrong?

when heavy guys shave their heads, they tend to look like big huge babies. why do big guys shave their heads? i really dont get it...

Gordon

Shaving all your hair off feels great. I just did mine last night with a couple of bics. I don't think it looks great on some people either, especially larger people but everyone should do it once in their life for the freedom of it.

spudington16

My personal advice for you would be to buy a pet monkey. Besides the hilarious adventures the two of you are bound to have, (s)he would be sympathetic in whatever hair problems you're going through and, if you teach him/her to talk, could offer advice.

Paddy20

Gordon wrote:

Shaving all your hair off feels great. I just did mine last night with a couple of bics. I don't think it looks great on some people either, especially larger people but everyone should do it once in their life for the freedom of it.

Ever heard of Male pattern baldness ! . No shaving required.
It is very common amongst my peers, and rapidly catching up with me :eek:

P.

Fionn

i dunno wet it run your hand through it........

thank god you have hair!!

logic

buy one of those hair shaving kits if you do get a blade all over, you could do it yourself then, once a week.

monkeyfudge

spudington16 wrote:

My personal advice for you would be to buy a pet monkey. Besides the hilarious adventures the two of you are bound to have, (s)he would be sympathetic in whatever hair problems you're going through and, if you teach him/her to talk, could offer advice.

This is without a doubt the best advice ever given on this board....