Guaranteed way of getting those little bolloxes away from your house

LegacyUser

A mate of mine was having some trouble with these little pikey kids in his estate - in other words constant egging & pebble dashing of his gaff and also kicking footballs at his front window.

Anyways he lost the rag with one of them one day and ran out front to confront them (If thats the word you would use). Anyways the kids were havin none of it and started sayin "I hear you're a paedophile and a molester, f*ck off ya aul bollocks etc". When they said this my mate said "Yes I am a paedophile and you are next!!" The kids ran off crying and he hasn't had any grief from any kids in the area since!!

Try it yourselves, it works a treat :cool: :cool:

Blisterman

Thats a great story
It would be a bit risky to try that one though.

grimloch

thats one of the funniest and most effective things ive heard of in a while, granted it could backfire horribly...

Bottle_of_Smoke

"that last post was taken a little too seriously by numerous boards users..... and a local newspaper"

Up with the Partridge!

RoadSweeper

lol, but his reputation is gone down the drain!

tintinr35

Spogpean wrote:

A mate of mine was having some trouble with these little pikey kids in his estate - in other words constant egging & pebble dashing of his gaff and also kicking footballs at his front window.

Anyways he lost the rag with one of them one day and ran out front to confront them (If thats the word you would use). Anyways the kids were havin none of it and started sayin "I hear you're a paedophile and a molester, f*ck off ya aul bollocks etc". When they said this my mate said "Yes I am a paedophile and you are next!!" The kids ran off crying and he hasn't had any grief from any kids in the area since!!

Try it yourselves, it works a treat :cool: :cool:

ur lying i saw a comedian doing that on the telly

Wertz

If you did that round where I live the parents would have been back an hour later with cans of petrol and a great sense of community spirit.

Capt'n Midnight

was it centra or spar up in Norn Iron that played classical music to disperse undesirables.

LegacyUser

tintinr35 wrote:

ur lying i saw a comedian doing that on the telly

ok, firstly i never said that i did it. secondly, a mate told me he did it and so what if he did get the idea off a comedian (he never said he did btw), it worked!!

Dr. Dre

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote:

"that last post was taken a little too seriously by numerous boards users..... and a local newspaper"

Up with the Partridge!

Nice

Kernel

Spogpean wrote:

ok, firstly i never said that i did it. secondly, a mate told me he did it and so what if he did get the idea off a comedian (he never said he did btw), it worked!!

Smells like bull**** tbh. Anyway, would you like your legs broken on the way back from the pub and a bonfire burning in your front garden? :rolleyes:

Gazza22

Well i suppose the lifetime of weird looks from the local community would be worth taking especially when you get to see the look on the little boll**** face!

Mr.Nice Guy

I heard a comedian tell this story as a joke not too long ago. I think it was on Just For Laughs...

flogen

You know it really annoys me, this stuff. Countless children suffer abuse day in and day out and you can't even make a good joke about it.

What kind of a world do we live in at all?

John R

Wertz wrote:

If you did that round where I live the parents would have been back an hour later with cans of petrol and a great sense of community spirit.

I wonder if they are as thick as this bunch and attack doctors as well.

jesus_thats_gre

Gwent police confirmed that the attack last Friday night was prompted by a confusion over the words "paedophile" and "paediatrician"

now that is a classic!!

billy the squid

Spogpean wrote:

A mate of mine was having some trouble with these little pikey kids in his estate - in other words constant egging & pebble dashing of his gaff and also kicking footballs at his front window.

Anyways he lost the rag with one of them one day and ran out front to confront them (If thats the word you would use). Anyways the kids were havin none of it and started sayin "I hear you're a paedophile and a molester, f*ck off ya aul bollocks etc". When they said this my mate said "Yes I am a paedophile and you are next!!" The kids ran off crying and he hasn't had any grief from any kids in the area since!!

Try it yourselves, it works a treat :cool: :cool:

it is ok to call one minority "pikeys" and not ok to call other minorities names.

unless you are referring to country folk who are also known as pikeys by some.

nlgbbbblth

jesus_thats_gre wrote:

now that is a classic!!

I remember reading about that and feeling sheer blind rage for those idiots.

A kneejerk reaction would have been to free all sex offenders from prison as punishment for not being able to tell the difference between "paedophile" and "paediatrician"

LOSERS

grimloch

nlgbbbblth wrote:

I remember reading about that and feeling sheer blind rage for those idiots.

A kneejerk reaction would have been to free all sex offenders from prison as punishment for not being able to tell the difference between "paedophile" and "paediatrician"

LOSERS

cant believe that happened....odd thing is thats not the only time its occured

passive

it is ok to call one minority "pikeys" and not ok to call other minorities names.

pikey is a state of mind/way of acting. Not a minority group. DEATH TO PC PEOPLE

(edit: unless he actually meant travellers..forgot it meant that. either way i stand by my comment... damn pikeys)

(edit: should it be pikies? it seems kinda like pixies though.. hmm...food for thought)

mp3guy

tintinr35 wrote:

ur lying i saw a comedian doing that on the telly

yeah, it was on the panel one night.

Blitzkrieger

That's an old joke.

Q : How do you stop kids playing in your garden?
A : Molest one of them.

Sick, but good

Piste

It was Tommy Tiernan who said that I'm pretty sure.

ShiverinEskimo

Some jokes are better told as if they came from you - why do people always have to deny people credit just cos they saw it on telly??

So it was said by a comedian, big deal.

Blisterman

Id say every joke type has already been told. We need to invent new technology to keep humour fresh.