Confused!!!

daz42C

So here is the story, about 2 weeks ago I was in school my 2 best friends (1 is a boy the other a girl) of over 4 years were not in and I was just sitting there minding my own business. Next of all I am called down to the Principal's office for a "chat". When in the office I was told my friend can no longer except us calling him nicknames etc...Next day we all go down to the office to resolve the problem, the principal resolves it or so he thought and he lets the "abused" leave the office.It is then we are told that he is SUICIDAL and that it may be our fault.

This "friend" has been hitting me for 5 years and I did'nt give a sh*t and when we call him one name (The general, we call him this cause he is going to the army and we thought this would be valid......obviously not) and he flies off the handle.Anyway I just want to know if we should ask him if he is SUICIDAL or wheter I should get him a lecture over him hitting me for five years. Since the chat our friendship has deteriorated and I now only hang out with the girl and we all find difficult to talk.Please help me I am so confused......

bounty

ignore him, you dont need that confusion in your life

Repli

If he's serious about commiting suicide then just stay away from him. Unless you are a trained counseller/psychologist, you aren't qualified to deal with the situation.

Edit: To the previous posters, he could very well be suicidal, it's extremely common in Ireland at the moment ESPECIALLY in young males (there are over 400 suicides per year, more than 1 per day in ROI) and there's an attempt made on average every 45 minutes.

Gordon

SatanInside that's not very helpful advice.

SatanInside

Well Gordon you can;t beat straight to the point advice. If it was me in that situation I'd tell his mother just to embarass the sh!t out of him.......

Sangre

No you wouldn't

Best to ignore him for a while, you can't do anything right with these sorts of people (i.e. the one you've conveyed in the post). If he values your friendship he'll come back.

Or you could wade into that quagmire and demand an apology for him for being a dick all these years. Make him think about his actions.

OfflerCrocGod

Umm the way daz42C is describing the situation it does seem as if he is after attention, frankly I'd just try and distance myself from someone like that.

Gordon

Straight to the point advice SatanInside? Telling a possibly suicidal kid to go and kill himself and then make up false accusations and tell the Principal about it. No matter what he may have done, apparently, there is no need for that kind of maliciousness.

I'd go with Sangre's second option there.

SatanInside

Na man you need to take it to him straight up....make him cry in front of his friends.....

secret_squirrel

I would be more concerned how someone with that low self esteem is going to survive in the Army....he's gonna get called a lot worse than that during basic training.

I lean towards the fact that he's staging a wind up, most teenagers feel suicidal at sometimes but it seems rather an over reaction to a very harmless nick name.

s8n

WTF are you on about Sataninside???
Have some cop on will ya

ferdi

above poster, fvck off with that bollox talk.

original poster, saty well away, the guy sonds unstable.

Gordon

SatanInside banned.

LegacyUser

Your "friend" is a stupid tit that does not deserve an ounce of respect. He is an attention seeker and can't take what he gives out. He just said that he was suicidal to gain pity and attention.

Citizen Jake

judging by the situation, can't imagine "the general" lasting ten seconds in the army.

Canis Lupus

If I was back in school I'd advise to politely fight him outside of school hours and hopefully beat him.

But I'm not so my advice is to stay away from him. Unless he shows genuine remorse later down the line someone like him is not worth it.

Agrees also with Citizen Jake, I hear the army just loves that sort of behaviour

Repli

I don't know why everyone is presuming he's only an attention seeker, suicide is a lot more common in Ireland than people think (there is MORE than 1 per day) for a country with such a small population - that's unacceptable. Now unless all the people saying this are qualified psychologists and know the man in question, then please think about what you're saying.

Also there are more than 20,000 suicide attempts per year in Ireland (not just self harm, but actual attempts at taking ones life) - that's actually on average 1 every 30 mins.

hullaballoo

Repli wrote:

I don't know why everyone is presuming he's only an attention seeker, suicide is a lot more common in Ireland than people think (there is MORE than 1 per day) for a country with such a small population - that's unacceptable. Now unless all the people saying this are qualified psychologists and know the man in question, then please think about what you're saying.

Also there are more than 20,000 suicide attempts per year in Ireland (not just self harm, but actual attempts at taking ones life) - that's actually on average 1 every 30 mins.

Yep, I really can't believe the insensitivity in here to such a sserious issue.

@OP, go and talk to this guy and try and find out what his story is. But don't go in all guns blazing, he'll just turn around and probably tell you to fcuk off.

You said he was your friend, so maybe you could ring him up at home and just see if he's ok, rather than being so absorbed in how you feel about him, you could think about how he might actually be feeling, and not just brush him off as an attention seeker.

Btw, I think everyone craves attention at some stage, maybe, if that's what's wrong with him, you should see if some attention won't cure him.

Also, I don't think it's right for your principal to tell you about someone else being suicidal, I wouldn't imagine your friend would be best pleased if he knew.

Sataninside, wtf?

Auf.

the_syco

Stay away from him. Either way, he's messed up. The fact that he thinks your his friend, but continued to hit you over the past 4 years, reinforces this view, imo.

As for the attention seeking part, people do sometimes snap. Furthermore, explain to the principle why you called him "the general", that you are now staying away from him, and that you'd like to know why the principle thought you may be the cause of it.
Also, that he hung around you and your other friend, by his own choice. If he had disliked you calling him "the general", surely he would have left your little group a long time ago.

Either way, don't let it fret you. Leave him go, talk to the principle, and get on with life.

Sarn

I can't understand how a "best friend" could get into a situation like that. Generally nicknames between friends might annoy people, but they're your mates, you give the same back. Also, what's the story with him hitting you? Was it the standard messing around, or something more, again not something indicative of "best friends".

If all this came from a relative stranger i.e. someone perceived to be bullied, it would make sense. A real friend isn't going to run to the principal complaining about his mates, it's his choice that he hangs out with ye.

Hypothetically, how close are you to your female friend? if something more than friendship is happening between ye two then jealousy/hurt could be the problem. Imagine feeling like a spare wheel with your two best friends?

Assuming that he's being honest, give him some space, as he's made the first complaint anything you come out with will seem like a way to get out of trouble.

daz42C

Sarn wrote:

I can't understand how a "best friend" could get into a situation like that. Generally nicknames between friends might annoy people, but they're your mates, you give the same back. Also, what's the story with him hitting you? Was it the standard messing around, or something more, again not something indicative of "best friends".

It was just messing between friends but I'd tell him to stop and he would'nt, The point being I was asked to stop calling him the general and did, but when he was asked to stop he did'nt.

Sarn wrote:

Hypothetically, how close are you to your female friend? if something more than friendship is happening between ye two then jealousy/hurt could be the problem. Imagine feeling like a spare wheel with your two best friends?

My luck (or looks...) with girls is not that good so even if he thought that he could of said.Me and the other friend were not close but since this we have been talking a lot more.

Victor

You need to stop calling him by the nickname and he needs to stop hitting you.

If he is suicidal, maybe he needs some contact and support. It's nice to have your friends support when you aren't well.

angeldelight

I was in a similar situation, my "best friend" turned on me, did some pretty awful stuff to me then told the principal I'd been bullying him so I ended up being warned about being expelled and lectured on how it was unacceptable, and the principal just wouldn't listen to me. Anyways his bullying of me got worse and worse til I eventually started looking into changing schools. I knew the principal wasn't interested cause he didn't believe me, thought I was trying to cover up for myself. The only reason it stopped was my year head found me one day in floods of tears at school, cause the guy had just done something else to me and he (teacher) spoke to me and realised I was totally confused and it was all a pack of lies, so he stood up to the principal who then realised what was really going on. I think if theres any teachers you feel you can talk to you should let them know the whole story. Yes your friend might be feeling suicidal but at the same time, you don't deserve to be left feeling the way you are now either. It eventually got sorted, but it started in 3rd year and didn't stop til the middle of 6th year for me so please tell someone!

CyberGhost

Citizen Jake wrote:

judging by the situation, can't imagine "the general" lasting ten seconds in the army.

yea dude, army is the last place a guy like that wants to be in.

btw, "The general" that's a pretty cool nickname, he should be happy you didn't call him "the janetor" or "the toothbrash"

daz42C

Victor wrote:

If he is suicidal, maybe he needs some contact and support. It's nice to have your friends support when you aren't well.

My "group" used to have a fourth member who was beaten up two weeks consecutively and was subsequently moved away.Months later we found out he was in a "hospital because he also tried what my other friend is trying and do you know what.... I cant cope with my friends demands.

Let me give you some more background on the original story, When I joined school I knew nobody and spent the first 1 and a half years in school with NO FRIENDS.A few months later I meet "my friend" but the funny part is this up until last year he kept this part quiet, he says and I quote "I Saved You" Saved me from what I ask "Saved you when you were going to commit suicide" This boy & every teacher in my school thought that I was going to commit suicide. Even my mam knew.....the only person who did'nt was me.

secret_squirrel

So to clarify - from what you have posted is this a case of the (percieved) suicidal kid coming good - only to have the 'friend' realise that you have out stripped him and moved on - thus resorting to a 'cry for help' for himself - either out of a reall need or just for attention.

You have a hard decision to make - drop him if he is faking - or support him if he is not. From you account I reckon he's faking....but you only see one side of the story.

b3t4

It sounds to me that there is a lot more going on in this boys life than he is willing to admit. I would be of the thought that he is using this issue to cover up more serious issues in his life.

How was yeer friendship before this incident?
Were there any indications that he was unhappy?
If he is/was your friend have you spoke to him about why he went to the principal?
Have ye been given a reason as to why he didn't like being called the general?
Has your friend been referred to a doctor/counsellor?

A.

hullaballoo

I just want to clear something up OP, in your original post, you said that you were with your two best friends, one girl, one guy. Now, the guy you ssaid there was your best friend, is this the guy who's now suicidal? Or is this a different fella?

It looks kind of like they're the same person from your original post.

daz42C

hullaballoo wrote:

I just want to clear something up OP, in your original post, you said that you were with your two best friends, one girl, one guy. Now, the guy you ssaid there was your best friend, is this the guy who's now suicidal? Or is this a different fella?

It looks kind of like they're the same person from your original post.

No similar but not the same.

Tar.Aldarion

secret_squirrel wrote:

You have a hard decision to make - drop him if he is faking - or support him if he is not. From you account I reckon he's faking....but you only see one side of the story.

if you ask some1 who is suicidal whether they are or not they will say they are not in my experience(currently having really good a friend(exfriend now more like i hate him) who is)
they will not see a councellor etc as i have tried that course of action a lot,the only solution is parents really...
in our case we talked to the guys parents back in his home county and they took him away from college.
so if your mate is suicidal you think get his parents to have him see a psychologist..

Ruhan

Hang on OP, your friend thought you were suicidal, and now he's suicidal?


This is all crap. If he's so into suicide, tell him to go goth or something. Otherwise, he's just a tad* unhinged.






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