How do you know?

pretty-in-pink

Hi, I guess this is the most appropriate place for this.

I was just wondering how do you know if your gay/bi? I'm pretty sure that I'm hetro, but I do like kissing girls, and some over-waist contact holds interest for me. However I'm nervous to try it, and as I have a boyfriend I think it would also be cheating. Could anyone here help me, I was just wondering how do you know if your'e just curious, or if you're actually bi?

Sorry to annoy you guys, I'm sure you get lods of people asking you "but how did you know?" and you probably just knew....but any advice, anything at all, would be great. Sorry to bug you, but I don't have anyone I could ask.

Stark

Do you have any girls in particular that interest you?

hazimel

I'd urge you to reconsider first how you're trying to classify yourself. A lot of problems are wrought in this world by people deciding that categories exist that human beings must safely slot into.

It's been my experience that people are far happier when they realise that they do not have to conform to the artificial labels of straight/bi/gay. Consider the terms to be loose-fitting terms, rather than being something you have to adhere to.

As for whether you like other women or not, well if you think you might then take some time to consider it for yourself and then when you feel relaxed enough to try it with someone who you've established will treat you with respect, then give it a go and see do you enjoy it. Whether you do or you don't, it doesn't have to be a life-changing experience if you remember that you're still you.

As for your boyfriend - depending on how honest a person you are and how much you respect him, you may want to discuss your feelings with him first. I'd almost lay odds that he'd have no problem with you being with another girl

claire h

Enjoying kissing girls is one thing. Being attracted to them, having crushes, wanting to be with them... that's a fairly good indication that it's more than curiosity. Gay/bi etc are just labels that attempt to describe your overall pattern of attraction and relationships and all the rest, but often fall short of doing so, because sexuality is quite often more complex than something that can be summed up in one word. Just think about the way you feel when you're into a guy, and see if you have similiar feelings about any girls, or whether it's just a superficial interest.

pretty-in-pink

Ok, thanks so much, very very helpful, it's nice to see some clear, honest advice, and advice that actually helps to.

Think my question has been answered to....I guess its kind of superficial

I like kissing girls, and wouldn't be adverse to some groping but wouldn't want to pursue anything, at least not with any girl I can think of. I would like to kiss a lot of girls though...

Thanks so much again, you've really helped a girl out