what to do.....what to do?

pretty-in-pink

Hi, I've posted here unreg before, and it takes so long to reply that i joined up for this thread. Ok. heres the deal.

I'm with my boyfriend for about three years now, the other night we were out, I went off with the girls for a while, and he went off with the boys. We do this about 1/2 the time we go out, and it works well for us, we go with different people for a few hours, and meet up and get food and go home together. We both flirt in general, but not on purpose, it's who we are. Anyway getting to the point, I was at a twenty-first, and there were a few people at it I only know about a month.

While chatting to them, some creepy guys kept flirting with us- or trying to at any rate. We walked off on them and that was that. Anyway, later that night we were talking about LGB people, and about whether any of us have ever kissed a girl(we all have), and if so which do you prefer. Most of us said that while girls have better kisses, they don't really do anything for us. One of the girls really came out againnst men, and said while she'd sleep with one she'd choose a girl everytime. Some of the group got a little freaked, but for the most part everyone said "fair play" and conversation moved on.

Later on she asked me to go out for a smoke with her, and while there said she thought I was hot etc. I didn't really know what to do, but said that she was very sweet but that I loved my boyfriend, and wouldn't be leaving him anytime soon. Anyway she kissed me, and it wasn't all that bad, I know my boyfriend wouldn't be mad at that bit, cause he knows I'm not really into girls, that its just a laugh to me, and if I thought someone was hot I'd want to share them with him. This girl reckons I am bi, and I'm worried that she thinks I'll go off with her again, thing is I wouldn't, not knowing she's actually bi/lesbian- its messing with people and I don't want that.

I have two issues here
1) Could I be bi? How would I know?
2) Given this girl was serious, should I tell my boyfriend?

Altheus

Hmm, are you bi? That's really up to you. Do you get physically turned on by women? Could you perform sexual acts with women? Could you let women perform sexual acts on you? Could you realistically have a long term relationship with another woman, and take it seriously?

As for your boyfriend, some guys will literally wet themselves as the prospect of their girl with another girl.

Personally for me, a kiss is a kiss in a monogamous relationship. All I can really say is imagine your boyfriend kissed another guy, and how you'd feel about it.

The_B_Man

The other girl reckons ur bi? eh i think shes just seeing what she wants to see coz she fancies you! blokes do it all the time. they see a hot girl bein nice to them so they think the hot girl fancies them. i wouldnt let this girls "theories" turn you into a bisexual. however, its possible your boyfriend might forgive a once-off "experience" if he got to be involved!

LadyJ

I always say this but it's a fact,women in general get more turned on by the naked female form than the male so don't worry about being turned on by them,it doesn't mean you're bi.
I've kissed girls and I'm 100% hetrosexual!:D
It all comes down to whether or not you could see yourself in a relationship with a woman.
If not then the boyf needn't be told a thing!

daRobot

LadyJ wrote:

I always say this but it's a fact,women in general get more turned on by the naked female form than the male

That ain't no fact lady

tinkerbell

Just because SHE kissed you, doesn't mean you are bi.

LadyJ

daRobot wrote:

That ain't no fact lady

It most certainly is! Research was done dammit!

The_B_Man

Its a fact that the naked female form is easier on the eyes than the naked male form but not a fact that women are more turned on by the female form. thats just crazy talk!

pretty-in-pink

A relationship with a girl? I don't think so. I mean maybe from the waist up but the thought of pelvic action just weirds me out. I like to kiss girls, most of us are just good kissers, but a girl has never turned me on, well one did- but I think it was becasue she was kissing my ear/neck area. I'm just slightly worried about waking up one day and discovering I've buried years of bi/lesbian urges.

If I didn't think it would end up messy (hearing accounts from friends), I'd suggest a threesome- so that I could experiment but it couldn't get to intense with another girl. Is this normal? I know its stupid to be paranoid about this, but so many people have said that if you kiss more then 3 girls, its a habit and habits like that suggest some latent (or not so latent) homosexual desires. Is this true?

Or is this a question more appropriate for the LGB forum (I just saw that forum now, so if this thread is not right for PI, I apologise to the relevent mods)

tinkerbell

I wouldn't worry about it, that's probably bull about the "more than three girls thing". I'd say you know at this stage if you are hetero / bi / whatever, and from your post, you sound totally hetero. Don't let this experience bog you down. Maybe you might get better answers from the LGB forum, rather than here. I dunno what to suggest! Other than the fact that I doubt you are bi / lesbian, from what you've said in your posts.

Gordon

lady-latino wrote:

Or is this a question more appropriate for the LGB forum (I just saw that forum now, so if this thread is not right for PI, I apologise to the relevent mods)

I'll move it if you want, no problem btw.

pretty-in-pink

No, if its ok here, then I'd like to leave it here. Thanks though Gordan!

I told my boyfriend about her thinking that I'm "hot", and he thought it funny, becasue he and a few other guys that I hang around with think shes ugly. I think shes kind of pretty- in a goth metal way- I think the boys don't like her because shes a big girl.

Anyway, I don't think I can tell him about the kiss now becasue he'll more then likely laugh at me.....

God, I've made him sound like a dick, he's not, he's just a bit of a lad.

Oh, don't know how relevent this is, but what constitutes "hot", becasue I'm getting kind of sick of people making passes at me, even when they know
I'm taken. Aside from total ignorance, and/or violence how can one stop people from hitting on them? I don't think I'm "hot", and I don't want to have to dress in horrible clothes, or have bad hair, or gain a lot of weight, or anything like that. Suggestions anyone? I just want to be left enjoy my nights out in peace.

OfflerCrocGod

lady-latino wrote:

I have two issues here
1) Could I be bi? How would I know?

Let me consult my magic 8-ball which can tell whether someone is gay/lesbian or straight.........the magic 8-ball says you have to figure that out for yourself......not a very helpful answer from the magic 8-ball; but then again I happen to think that it wasn't a very good question in the first place.

lady-latino wrote:

2) Given this girl was serious, should I tell my boyfriend?

I don't see any reason why, he'll probably want a threesome and it probably won't turn out well (he will run off with her after she confesses she's as straight as a ruler). My advice is let it go and forget about it and her.

/Offler trows magic 8-ball away.

Victor

lady-latino wrote:

Anyway she kissed me, and it wasn't all that bad,

You let her kiss you? Or were you tied down at the time? And did you kiss back?

pretty-in-pink

I let her kiss me, I have to admit I kissed her back, 5 seconds or 50 seconds....a kiss is still a kiss. I know I shouldn't have when she said she liked me, and I know feeling put on the spot is a bad reason to do something, and I also know if she had been a he I wouldn't have kissed her. I don't take it seriously, she does and I know it was wrong to kiss her.

I have talked to her since, she knows I'm not interested in pursuing anything (or at least I told her that, whether she believes me or not is another issue). I have kissed other girls before her, and she is the best female kisser to date. I just wouldn't fancy her....though I do think she's pretty.

And Croc, that magic 8 ball of yours might be useful. Any chance you could send it to me?

BossArky

Well then Lady_Latino, PM me and we can organise something with that girl to see what you really like

Ok ok just kidding :rolleyes: but I know many pretty girls who confess to this kind of lark... perhaps thats why they appear pretty in my eyes, eh? :cool:

simu

I think the girl wants to convince you you're bi so that you'll get off with her! Your sexuality is something you'll have to figure out yourself but that's probably easier to do away from someone who has a vested interest in you deciding you're bi!

Aside from total ignorance, and/or violence how can one stop people from hitting on them? I don't think I'm "hot", and I don't want to have to dress in horrible clothes, or have bad hair, or gain a lot of weight, or anything like that. Suggestions anyone? I just want to be left enjoy my nights out in peace.

"Hot" is in the eye of the beholder but I don't see why a person should have to make themselves ugly to avoid hassle. Make it clear you have a partner and you want to stay faithful, find ways of laughing it off or turning the conversation around to something else when people hit on you. They might work but it's tricky. Or mention you're getting treated for syphillis or something as a last resort!

jcoote

it doesn't seem like a bi-sexual thing u have goin on at all... women are very affectionate and like to be shown affection thats all i think there is too it...i known loadsa straight girls who are kissin their mates all the time... i don't agree with that at all :rolleyes:

LundiMardi

How old are you?

''like OMG!! a girl kissed me and now i think i'm Bi!!! like OMG!, LOL''

Are you serious?

Yes i do think you should tell your bf, it wasn't that serious and it's doubtful he'll be upset over it. However if you keep it from him and he finds out he may think you have something to hide.

Kell

lady-latino wrote:

I have two issues here
1) Could I be bi? How would I know?
2) Given this girl was serious, should I tell my boyfriend?

1) Perhaps- but you have already said that the idea of muchin box freaks you out- so why ponder the notion of a threesome. The idea of golden showers weirds me out so I avoid pondering it. Thats just me.

2) Why not tell your boyfriend? You said he would be cool about it so why the hell not. He knows you've kissed others, presumably while going out with him so why should he react differently this time?

Question to the OP. Why are you letting this wreck your head so much? Gay blokes tell me I am hot. Does it freak me out? No. Does it make me question my sexuality- no- I just take it as a compliment. I suggest you treat this as same and enjoy the thought of someone else thinking your hot irrelevant of their sexual disposition.

And dont feel bad for being hot. Someone has to be. Its such a curse.

K-

~Rebel~

Kell i think the OP is generally annoyed with people in general coming onto her and not backing off even when they know shes attached.

My girfriend has the same prob, last time she went out without me she told me people kept gettin cheap gropes as she'd be walkin in a crowd and one guy randomly even tried to kiss her neck from behind on the floor. she is pretty hot, but i was shocked people would do this, just goin straight for a grope without even tryin to talk. would that ever be successful?!

Kell

~Rebel~ wrote:

Kell i think the OP is generally annoyed with people in general coming onto her and not backing off even when they know shes attached.

Yes but why get all "Jeez, I have to tone down my looks" when they could go "why dont I socialise in places where being hot is the norm so I dont attract so much attention". Then you get hot on hot that get married and have hot kids so the future generations just get hotter.

Think of the big picture. It's all good.

K-

Dr. Loon

LundiMardi wrote:

How old are you?

''like OMG!! a girl kissed me and now i think i'm Bi!!! like OMG!, LOL''

Are you serious?

Yes i do think you should tell your bf, it wasn't that serious and it's doubtful he'll be upset over it. However if you keep it from him and he finds out he may think you have something to hide.

I agree with this whole post, and was actually going to ask the OP what age she was.

MrC

Is this the Cosmo or the Just Seventeen forum? I must watch where I click next time.

Tar.Aldarion

in my experience all girls are relatively bisexual!
sitting there watching tv with female friends is like 'oh she is so hot,if she came in here right now oh ya" etc..
i have broached this subject with some of them and they agree but most say they like men to much to go out with a girl for instance.

dahamsta

Altheus wrote:

Do you get physically turned on by women? Could you perform sexual acts with women? Could you let women perform sexual acts on you?

Please answer these questions in essay format, with examples. Just don't let tigerlily catch you.

adam

pretty-in-pink

What does my age have to do with anything? If I was 15 or 50, having a few people- especily one who I would assume knows the difference between being curious/normal(if such a thing exists) and actually being bi- say that "oh I bet your bi" does tend to shake you a bit. What age are you that age is so very important?

Anyway to the people who actually had something constructive to say- thank you. Some of it was funny, some of it quite useful. I'll come up with a way for getting rid of creeps- I like your suggestions Simu, and I like yours to Kell....I have the man, but I think the kids can wait a while.

And yup ~Rebel~ some people are just jerks, who gave them the right to grope you or pass rude comments about your various...bits... Your poor girlfriend, out of interest do people still do this when you're with her?

LadyJ

Just wanted to say,yes being hit on can be annoying and being groped certainly is too but,in general,take being hit on(not groped!) as a compliment. It could be worse!
When I was with my ex I used to get hit on when he was around and it used to piss him off but I really think it can keep a guy on his toes so don't worry too much!