Bullying

Glipmac

This is a personal to me because I was bullied all the way through my school days and it only stopped when I left, and I was wondering how many people were bullies/bullied and how you stopped it from happening either to you or others around you...

This is also to find out if it made you who you are today are you a stronger person because of it or do you still live in fear of these people?

Or if it is happening to you still I/others maybe able to offer some advice on the subject on how to stop it... Also why do/did people bully you if you ever found out or do not wish to say then you don't have to.

petals

I was bullied from the time I was about 3 or 4 and still am being bullied.
First by a girl that lived next door-she was a beeacth then she grew up got "mature" so that's why that stopped.
Then I was in a marching band and a group of 7 or 8 lads who were all 6-8 years older than me bullied in a not soo good way at all.
That stopped when they left and when they "matured" they all apologised but it was to late cos now I hate lads and unless they are gay or attached they freak me out lots.
In secondary school there was lots of beeacths who bullied and I just ignored most of that and went off with my own friend in the end.
All that rubbish though made me really really quiet.
Now in college some people are trying to bully but I tend to ignore it or else not let them away with it whatsoever.
I'm getting out of the shyness but that was only from meeting one of my friends this year.

Sangre

You probably got bullied because you use the word beaaatch.

Can't imagine bullying going on in college.

I slagged everyone and anyone I could, I dunno, maybe some of them thought I was bullying them...

Citizen Jake

Yes, mostly at school until inter cert - name calling, physical attacks - then the rabble left and it stopped. After that the guys who stayed on were hanging around to to the leaving cert, were a more mature, bookish lot and any slagging was friendly banter. I will always remember it though. Has it made me a better person? It has made me more tolerant and respectful of others and has given me a grudging respect for the underdog.

For many years after school I hadn't had any bullying experiences until a couple of years into my career found that the office can be just as hurtful as a school environment, sometimes acts of exclusion or the odd barbed comment can have a payload of an impact on your esteem, even your sanity. In one job it was a clique of individuals, but I rose above it and triumphed insofar as I made many other good friends who are still good friends to this day. In a second job things were rosy for a couple of years and then an individual bent on dividing and conquering succeeded in turning most of my colleagues against me and eventually engineering my departure. Believe me I was glad to go. Since then, things have gone well, but you can never forget . . .

All in all, these experiences, however harsh and unnecessary, have made me stronger, patient and I suppose more perceptive and cautious around people. I have a stubborn streak that always gets me through.

Larianne

Sangre wrote:

You probably got bullied because you use the word beaaatch.

Can't imagine bullying going on in college.

I slagged everyone and anyone I could, I dunno, maybe some of them thought I was bullying them...

Were you insecure about yourself and then slagged other people to take the focus off yourself and what you were lacking?? Or what??

I can well believe of bullying in college, psychological. Sniggers here, sly looks, smart comments. Girls can be really evil once theres a gang of them!

Bullies are weak people who are normally jealous of the victim. Be it that the victim is more intelligent, good looking, have more money, have some great skill. And bullies normally attack quiet/shy people as they know that they will get a reaction but the person won't/can't fight back.

Every single person who bullied me is now lesser off, working in crap jobs, haven't even made it to college and will have a worse quality of life than me. This is my revenage- being able to walk passed them on the street and smile to myself because they are going nowhere!! ha ha!! Suckers!!

Glipmac

Sangre wrote:

You probably got bullied because you use the word beaaatch.

less of that please I want this to be serious, please no bullying in here...

Sangre

No, I just take the píss out of people if I can. Lifes too short to take yourself seriously. You do something stupid and I will make fun of you. I never slagged people on their appareance just on how they acted. Some people acted stupider than others hence I slagged them more.

Larianne

Sangre wrote:

No, I just take the píss out of people if I can. Lifes too short to take yourself seriously. You do something stupid and I will make fun of you. I never slagged people on their appareance just on how they acted. Some people acted stupider than others hence I slagged them more.

Everone can enjoy a joke but it's taking a joke too far and upsetting people is the problem. Also slagging someone infront of other scan be hignly embarrassing and for a quiet person that's just a nightmare. If you constantly slagg someone for being/acting stupid it can be seen as picking on someone. How do you know this people also think it's funny or can you not think of something funny to come up with so have to use other people for jokes??

Glipmac

a joke is fair enough but please refrain from doing it in here, the odd laugh is ok but dont take it too far please

Glip

Sangre

Larianne wrote:

Everone can enjoy a joke but it's taking a joke too far and upsetting people is the problem. Also slagging someone infront of other scan be hignly embarrassing and for a quiet person that's just a nightmare. If you constantly slagg someone for being/acting stupid it can be seen as picking on someone. How do you know this people also think it's funny or can you not think of something funny to come up with so have to use other people for jokes??

Eh that was my point, I don't know if I thought I was bullying them. They should have said something.

And stop trying to diaganose me because you can't.

Oh and I don't need to slag people to be funny, I'm a fúcking riot.

Sangre

Glipmac wrote:

a joke is fair enough but please refrain from doing it in here, the odd laugh is ok but dont take it too far please

Glip

My God you even sound timid online.

Larianne

Sangre wrote:

Eh that was my point, I don't know if I thought I was bullying them. They should have said something.

And stop trying to diaganose me because you can't.

Oh and I don't need to slag people to be funny, I'm a fúcking riot.

Not trying to analyse you at all (sound a bit hostile though). Just wanted yur view on things. But can't you see that people who are being bullied most often than not don't stand up to the bullies and therefore wouldn't have said anything to you. There's no need to slag people at all. Unless you're not funny and that's your only way. Still, if ya dont have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. (now sounding like a granny but it's true!)

Salaco

Back in the day, when I'd seen less of the world, I'd would often lay the smackdown, casually like, on my weaker, fuglier, or less confident peers.
In fact, I even declined to lay the pipe to a number of phatty or full-bodied girls on the shallow basis of appearance alone . Big mistake. I've since learned that other aspects of self can compensate for these shortcomings. For example, I am just a handsome guy who tries to stay in shape because, if I lose my looks, I have to rely on my personality. Let me tell you that means no ass until 2105. So, calling out to those ladies I dissed, apologies for my rudeness - I'd hit it in a second...and to all those feeble dudes I beat on, no hard feeling fellas, next time you're in town I'll let you buy me a drink... :cool:

Tobias Greeshman

Sangre wrote:

Oh and I don't need to slag people to be funny, I'm a fúcking riot.

My My aren't we the accomplished comedian

Glipmac

Ha...Ha...Very...funny (Sarcasm) Everyones a comedian, I am far from timid I managed to stop being bullied by standing up for what i belive in and i beleive your not funny "Sangre"

Sangre

Salaco wrote:

Back in the day, when I'd seen less of the world, I'd would often lay the smackdown, casually like, on my weaker, fuglier, or less confident peers.
In fact, I even declined to lay the pipe to a number of phatty or full-bodied girls on the shallow basis of appearance alone . Big mistake. I've since learned that other aspects of self can compensate for these shortcomings. For example, I am just a handsome guy who tries to stay in shape because, if I lose my looks, I have to rely on my personality. Let me tell you that means no ass until 2105. So, calling out to those ladies I dissed, apologies for my rudeness - I'd hit it in a second...and to all those feeble dudes I beat on, no hard feeling fellas, next time you're in town I'll let you buy me a drink... :cool:

So you've decided you should have the sex with fat girls because you aren't getting any now? How very noble you

Sangre

Larianne wrote:

Not trying to analyse you at all (sound a bit hostile though). Just wanted yur view on things. But can't you see that people who are being bullied most often than not don't stand up to the bullies and therefore wouldn't have said anything to you. There's no need to slag people at all. Unless you're not funny and that's your only way. Still, if ya dont have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. (now sounding like a granny but it's true!)

You're obviously not a guy.

Sangre

Glipmac wrote:

Ha...Ha...Very...funny (Sarcasm) Everyones a comedian, I am far from timid I managed to stop being bullied by standing up for what i belive in and i beleive your not funny "Sangre"

OH!! You have shown me the errors of my ways! How could I be so stupid? If only there had been some timid yet noble person who had stood up for their beliefs and shown me the way!
Woe is me

Glipmac

Sangre wrote:

So you've decided you should have the sex with fat girls because you aren't getting any now? How very noble you

i think i speak for everyone on here change your attitude or please leave

Tobias Greeshman

Sangre with what you describe about constantly going too far with slagging people, I'd be surprised if someone didn't threaten you at least once to kick the crap out of you!

Zulu

Larianne wrote:

Bullies are weak people who are normally jealous of the victim. Be it that the victim is more intelligent, good looking, have more money, have some great skill.

I don't think thats true. In the secondary school I went to, the weak got bullied. They weren't more intelligent. They weren't good looking. They didn't have more money. They had no recognisable great skill (except to absorbe inordinate amounts of abuse). That was why they got bullied.

I was bullied for a small period, as a young child. Then I stood up for myself, and it stopped. Perhaps it taught me to stand up for myself, perhaps that was always part of my character.

Larianne

Sangre wrote:

You're obviously not a guy.

There were guys buliied in my school also. I think it's harder for guys to get over bullying than girls. But that's jst my opinion and from experiences of some of my guy friends.

You seem to be quite a negative person Sangre. What's the deal? And also how old are ya?

Sangre

Guys take the píss out of each other especially in all boys school.

And Im fourty three years young.

Glipmac

silas wrote:

Sangre with what you describe about constantly going too far with slagging people, I'd be surprised if someone didn't threaten you at least once to kick the crap out of you!

i may do but i would be as bad as him, and oh yes i am a guy and i was bullied

Larianne

Zulu wrote:

I don't think thats true. In the secondary school I went to, the weak got bullied. They weren't more intelligent. They weren't good looking. They didn't have more money. They had no recognisable great skill (except to absorbe inordinate amounts of abuse). That was why they got bullied.

I was bullied for a small period, as a young child. Then I stood up for myself, and it stopped. Perhaps it taught me to stand up for myself, perhaps that was always part of my character.

I disagree. Bullies are weak. They obviously have something missing in their lives or have problems with themselves. Like, why would you want to bully someone? Can't amuse yourself, so pick on young ones?

Salaco

Sangre wrote:

So you've decided you should have the sex with fat girls because you aren't getting any now? How very noble you

Don't put words in salaco's mouth. Pointing out that I've learned to appreciate variety in all feminine forms :cool: .

Try stepping up to me again, and you ain't gonna be able to walk after the dick dip I give you. Your asshole is going to have an echo. As you were. :rolleyes:

Sangre

silas wrote:

Sangre with what you describe about constantly going too far with slagging people, I'd be surprised if someone didn't threaten you at least once to kick the crap out of you!

Never actually.

Citizen Jake

"And Im fourty three years young."

Once a bully always a bully? You must have spent too much time slagging the swots from the back of the class. Er, am I being a bully and doing the slaggin now?

Zulu

Larianne wrote:

I disagree. Bullies are weak. They obviously have something missing in their lives or have problems with themselves. Like, why would you want to bully someone? Can't amuse yourself, so pick on young ones?

Well to be honest, every teenager is weak. Every teenager has something missing in their lives - or has problems with themselves, that's life. Some bully. Some don't. But bullies evidently aren't weak - as they are bullying. There are either physically stronger (physical bullying) or mentally stronger (mental bullying).

Why would they bully? Popularity? And bullying isn't reserved to people younger. In school - it was the same age group.

Larianne

Citizen Jake wrote:

"And Im fourty three years young."

Once a bully always a bully? You must have spent too much time slagging the swots from the back of the class. Er, am I being a bully and doing the slaggin now?

I presumed the guy was joking?? No? Dear god. Not excusing bullying but a teenager doing it, you can say immaturity etc to blame but 43? :eek:

Citizen Jake

I think we've hit on something here. Bullying: the strong versus the weak. How about the immature hitting out at the mature?

Tobias Greeshman

Larianne wrote:

I disagree. Bullies are weak. They obviously have something missing in their lives or have problems with themselves. Like, why would you want to bully someone? Can't amuse yourself, so pick on young ones?

Actually Larianne, Zulu's fairly bang on with what he said. Well from what I seen in secondary school, the reason most bullies done what they did was to make themselves seem more of a man with their male friends. If they pick up on the idea that a person is weak, shy or easily bullied they'll keep doing it, making them feel more confident.

Although you said that bullies are lacking something, like intelligence, academic ability or so forth. This can certainly be the case, but its not always the case. And in general I think its the reason above that drives them to do it!

Larianne

Zulu wrote:

Well to be honest, every teenager is weak. Every teenager has something missing in their lives - or has problems with themselves, that's life. Some bully. Some don't. But bullies evidently aren't weak - as they are bullying. There are either physically stronger (physical bullying) or mentally stronger (mental bullying).

Why would they bully? Popularity? And bullying isn't reserved to people younger. In school - it was the same age group.

Yes, but I know I would never bully anyone. It's not in my nature. And I wasn't brought up that way. I know every teenager has problems, but there must be a certain element that causes someone to bully another human being. Normally, I think, it's jealousy. And the bully wants to bring them down.

Sangre

Citizen Jake wrote:

"And Im fourty three years young."

Once a bully always a bully? You must have spent too much time slagging the swots from the back of the class. Er, am I being a bully and doing the slaggin now?

I was top of my class. I have the academic medals to prove it.

BrianD3

Ah bullying...I was bullied from about fifth class in primary school to the end of secondary school. Nobody ever laid a hand on me but it was just a constant barrage of psychological abuse from people whom I thought were friends. The sort of stuff I experienced included name calling to my face and behind my back, exclusion, starting various rumours eg that I was gay, playing practical "jokes", ratting me in to teachers when I'd done nothing wrong, constantly trying to get me into trouble or make me look like an ass, especially in front of girls (who all thought it was great fun) :mad: I believe this went well beyond mere slagging and banter.

But IMO I did bring some of it on myself as I was naive and should have stood up for myself a lot more. I was always afraid to retaliate with physical violence because of fear of getting my head kicked in and of getting in trouble but looking back I regret not taking some action. One thing about it is that the people that bullied me were all intelligent smart asses and the ringleader was particularly intelligent. So I couldn't compete with them when it came to verbal put-downs or psychological warfare.

So the bullying I got wasn't the stereotypical "male" bullying i.e getting beaten up. It was much more like the bullying that many girls say they have recieved from other girls.

As for how it has affected me, I think it has made me a strong person in many ways. I don't take any crap from anyone anymore. I am no longer have any contact with the bullies and have excluded them from my life. However the bullying was a major factor in wrecking my confidence with women, something which I still struggle with to this day.

Larianne

Citizen Jake wrote:

I think we've hit on something here. Bullying: the strong versus the weak. How about the immature hitting out at the mature?

Yeah I agree with that. I just never hit back coz I knew there was no point an eventually it would stop and it did.

Citizen Jake

I think its due to some insecurity in the bullying kind. Many of the bullying kind I've come across can be very, very intelligent. It's a freak in their nature I reckon. They have a deficiency, they know it, and they want to lash out at someone as if it would make them a better man/woman. At least in the eyes of the peers whose approval they so crave. "ha ha, I'm a funny man, I put someone down and made every one laugh ..." In other words they've distracted attention away from themselves by ridiculing another person that in some way has ignited their disgust. In schools, its down to immaturity. In factories/offices, its a question of power (divide and conquer?)

Tobias Greeshman

salaco wrote:

Try stepping up to me again, and you ain't gonna be able to walk after the dick dip I give you. Your asshole is going to have an echo. As you were.

After reading this, are you really sure those fat girls were...well...infact girls!

Larianne

silas wrote:

Actually Larianne, Zulu's fairly bang on with what he said. Well from what I seen in secondary school, the reason most bullies done what they did was to make themselves seem more of a man with their male friends. If they pick up on the idea that a person is weak, shy or easily bullied they'll keep doing it, making them feel more confident.

Although you said that bullies are lacking something, like intelligence, academic ability or so forth. This can certainly be the case, but its not always the case. And in general I think its the reason above that drives them to do it!

Okay, I think I've got it. Boys bully coz it makes them feel bigger about themselves where as with girls its more of a jealousy thing and they just want to brng the victim down. From what I've seen boys bully in groups (him with one or two mates) and girls well they do it in groups but alot of the time its one on one. I dunno, just another possiblity. I'm sure there's a loada research done on it.

Salaco

silas wrote:

After reading this, are you really sure those fat girls were...well...infact girls!

Hmm, the donkey fluffer I owned yesterday, your retorts get weaker day by day . Salaco enjoys the company of women solely, someday I might explain metaphors/analogies to you so that you might understood what was written. Until then, your continued attention is not flattering - your hanging to my nuts tighter than a koala bear to a eucalyptus tree doesn't work for me bro..step off :cool:

Glipmac

Larianne wrote:

Okay, I think I've got it. Boys bully coz it makes them feel bigger about themselves where as with girls its more of a jealousy thing and they just want to brng the victim down. From what I've seen boys bully in groups (him with one or two mates) and girls well they do it in groups but alot of the time its one on one. I dunno, just another possiblity. I'm sure there's a loada research done on it.

i think you have a point there thats how it was with me, but if you got one of them on their own (one of the guys) thay were how you doing, you ok mate?, didn't mean what i said earlier... that sort of thing

Citizen Jake

Salaco wrote:

Hmm, the donkey fluffer I owned yesterday, your retorts get weaker day by day . Salaco enjoys the company of women solely, someday I might explain metaphors/analogies to you so that you might understood what was written. Until then, your continued attention is not flattering - your hanging to my nuts tighter than a koala bear to a eucalyptus tree doesn't work for me bro..step off :cool:

You don't like it do ya? You're weakening . . . now it has started

Larianne

Glipmac wrote:

i think you have a point there thats how it was with me, but if you got one of them on their own (one of the guys) thay were how you doing, you ok mate?, didn't mean what i said earlier... that sort of thing

safety in numbers and all that. Yeah weak on their own. Normally its just one dude/girl and then they have a few saps who follow.. the usual in life.

Glipmac

OY! look at what we are becoming, if we continue we will become what we hate the most... we will be the bullies and i am not willing to let that happen even if Salaco talks about himself in the third person and acts like the "BIG MAN" so just ignore him may be he'll shut up

Salaco

Citizen Jake wrote:

You don't like it do ya? You're weakening . . . now it has started

Don't sweat it jake, salaco always finds it funny when cats take the interweb seriously :cool:

Zulu

Larianne wrote:

Okay, I think I've got it. Boys bully coz it makes them feel bigger about themselves where as with girls its more of a jealousy thing and they just want to brng the victim down. From what I've seen boys bully in groups (him with one or two mates) and girls well they do it in groups but alot of the time its one on one. I dunno, just another possiblity. I'm sure there's a loada research done on it.

Look - no offence - but you haven't got it, and you're unlike to get it from information posted on this thread.

One fact that is researched and proven. People who were bullied are more likely to bully. Perhaps some of the bullies you speak of are bullied at home or in a different social outlet, or at and earlier stage in life.

You "boys bully in groups" and "girls bully due to jealousy" may well be true in cases - but it's to simple, and not true as a whole.

Larianne

Glipmac wrote:

OY! look at what we are becoming, if we continue we will become what we hate the most... we will be the bullies and i am not willing to let that happen even if Salaco talks about himself in the third person and acts like the "BIG MAN" so just ignore him may be he'll shut up

well i'm ignoring it.. *skips blissfully unaware down the road*

Canis Lupus

I found alot of people who thought themselves "bullied" psychologically at least in school were just unable to differentiate between piss taking and a serious jibe. I remember one guy we all used to hang around with (remember he was a part of the group and treated equally)who we would slag off and vice versa, never a sign of anything wrong until one day a few people out of the group got called up and accused of bullying him. He had reported it despite acting perfectly normal around us and we weren't the bullying group of people.

Sometimes bullying is all in the head of the person who thinks they are being bullied.

Glipmac

Salaco wrote:

Don't sweat it jake, salaco always finds it funny when cats take the interweb seriously :cool:

Dude dont use the word cat around me I am a goldfish, and this was ment to be a serious talk about bullying

Larianne

Zulu wrote:

Look - no offence - but you haven't got it, and you're unlike to get it from information posted on this thread.

One fact that is researched and proven. People who were bullied are more likely to bully. Perhaps some of the bullies you speak of are bullied at home or in a different social outlet, or at and earlier stage in life.

You "boys bully in groups" and "girls bully due to jealousy" may well be true in cases - but it's to simple, and not true as a whole.

I did say afterwards I dunno, just another possability. Well I was bullied quite a bit and I have never bullied anyone in my life. I go out of my way to help people (yeah I'm a fool I know for that).

I'm just posting ideas, don;t be coming down on me so flippin hard. It's just MY opinion, okay.

Citizen Jake

Canis Lupus wrote:

Sometimes bullying is all in the head of the person who thinks they are being bullied.

Not in most cases. In most cases it's very public, very humiliating, particularly when it gets physical.