Which condoms are best?

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,
Well I'd like to lose my virginity to my boyfriend and as he STILL hasn't got around to getting an STD test done, he'll have to wear a condom. (I'm on the pill btw).
I'm just wondering which condom is best? I need one that won't ruin the sensation for him too much but will still safeguard against STD's/pregnancy.

Thanks!

hussey

Don't worry about him too much
It will be sore for you (probably) not him
sex can be ackward at first but it takes time to be great

just go for the standard condonms - durex,mates etc

irlirishkev

Ribbed. For your pleasure

Dublin8

the ones in spar in camden street

Gordon

Dublin8 wrote:

the ones in spar in camden street

Why specifically them?

Also I wouldn't advise ribbed condoms for your first time.

Gillo

Try Avainti by Durex, you won't lose much sensation.
As a general rule stick with the better known brand, they might cost a bit more but for the added piece of mind I'd recommend them.

If your bf hasn't had an std test done yet I take it you have asked him to do it, if he is stalling I'd think twice about have sex with him.

snappieT

Durex Extra Safe.

They have some spermacide just in case...

r3boot

NOT ribbed,


and I think no spermicide for the first time. (greater risk of infection). A doctor would be better at this than I am.

Is there a doctor on the boards ????? :rolleyes:

If he isn't a virgin or has a preferred brand then let him use it. Becasue that is what he is more comfortable with.

LegacyUser

I've been asking him for ages but he still hasn't gotten the test done. He's rang the doctor and knows the price and everything, he just won't book himself in. I don't know whether he is a virgin or not. I don't really want to know because i don't like the thoughts of him being with someone else. He's had girlfriends though.

WizZard

I'd be more worried as to why he hasn't gotten round to getting a test done if you've asked him to?
They're free, check the sticky at the top of the forum for links/contact info of clinics.

Gordon

r3boot wrote:

Is there a doctor on the boards ????? :rolleyes:

Probably, but they won't be posting their medical advice here if they are or claim to be.

nesf

Gordon wrote:

Probably, but they won't be posting their medical advice here if they are or claim to be.

Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing.
--Voltaire [Francois-Marie Arouet]


To the OP:

Do not use a ribbed or studded condom, believe me. Use lubrication, KY-Jelly is best in my experience as it's water based and won't effect the latex in the condom and is easy to get ahold of.

If your bf is refusing to get an STD test done... One of two things spring to mind.

1) He feels very self concious about the idea and hasn't come to realise that STD tests are not just for drug addicts and homosexuals but are necessary for any person who is sexually active.

2) He might be afraid of taking one because of some unprotected sex act in his past. This isn't uncommon. He's probably worried about nothing but it's best off to get tested and find out!

Either way, he should get an STD test if he's not a virgin. They are a fact of life these days, not a luxury. Requiring him to take one is not unreasonable of you. I've been asked in the past to have one done, it's not unheard of. Paranoid maybe, but I don't blame people for being paranoid these days tbh.

rugbug86

r3boot wrote:

NOT ribbed,




Is there a doctor on the boards ????? :rolleyes:

off topic: this reminds me of being on a plane and someone said "is there a doc on board?"

sorry mods!

Explosive_Cornflake

gillo wrote:

Try Avainti by Durex, you won't lose much sensation.

I've seen these, they're a good bit dearer. Are they that much better?

Explosive_Cornflake

Explosive_Cornflake wrote:

I've seen these, they're a good bit dearer. Are they that much better?

The reason they're dearer is that they are non-latex.

0utshined

girl05 wrote:

Hi everyone,
Well I'd like to lose my virginity to my boyfriend and as he STILL hasn't got around to getting an STD test done, he'll have to wear a condom. (I'm on the pill btw).
I'm just wondering which condom is best? I need one that won't ruin the sensation for him too much but will still safeguard against STD's/pregnancy.

Thanks!

OP,

You should know that a condom won't protect you from all STDs so even if he wears one he can still transmit something to you. If you want him to have a test done then using a condom isn't a stop-gap measure. It's your health you're talking about after all.

Gillo

The guide clinic in St James offer free std tests, just do a search on google for it. They have a long waiting list 4 weeks I think, it might be a bit of a wait, but hey it's better than a case of the clap.

WhiteWashMan

used ones...


i cant believe no one has said that so far....

the best ones are the ones that you feel are most comfortable with, are the most practical, and safest and easiest to use.

all condoms will stiffle the sensation, however the durex featherlite and avanti will both provide more sensation.

LundiMardi

i'd say your bf is just ****ting at the though of having a cue tip stuck up his penis. I know that would put me off :eek:

This may seem like common sense, but don't engage in any oral activities until he's been cleared.

As for condoms, buy em all and see which works best.

tel922001

tell him to fist u first that will take the pain away for you and get him to do the dip drop it in bleech that should sort him out he will run to the std clinic faster than u can get ur legs open

leggo

Tell you what you do:

Hold out until he gets the test. And go with him to the clinic too. Try to go into the room while he's doing the test if at all possible, as I reckon you'd have a cause for concern if he's as reluctant to take it as he seems to be.

Trust me, if you have patience he'll give in long before you will.

LegacyUser

I've been asking him for ages, and he won't. He gets mad at me for bringing it up. I'm as sick of talking about it as he is, but what am I supposed to do?
The whole thing is quite hurtful, the fact that he doesn't care enough about me to get a bloody STD test done.

WizZard

girl05 wrote:

the fact that he doesn't care enough about me to get a bloody STD test done.

He could be just scared. It can be daunting for a guy at first. Support him and let him know that you are there for him.

If he still won't go, dump him. There are better guys out there.

Gordon

tel922001 banned

girl05 it sounds a bit suspect that he is being this way. Don't lose your virginity until he understands how you feel and gets tested is my opinion.

Why are you on the pill already?

LegacyUser

I'm on the pill because I get very painful periods otherwise.

Pet

girl05 wrote:

I'm on the pill because I get very painful periods otherwise.

I've been asking him for ages, and he won't. He gets mad at me for bringing it up. I'm as sick of talking about it as he is, but what am I supposed to do?

It's a trust issue on both sides. He thinks you should trust that he's clean, and you don't trust him enough to believe him.
Now with any other matter I'd say "why don't you trust your boyfriend", but sexual health is one thing you want to be 100% certain of, so I'd take your side on this one.

So, offer to go with him to the SH clinic, and support him. But don't sleep with him until he does! It's a perfectly reasonable request, it's free, and the q-tip thing is overrated, you barely feel it. Perhaps you could offer to get one at the same time, if only to put you both on equal footing?

r3boot

very of topic

rugbug86 wrote:

off topic: this reminds me of being on a plane and someone said "is there a doc on board?"

sorry mods!

thats exactly what I meant ! lol

Zombrex

girl05 wrote:

I've been asking him for ages but he still hasn't gotten the test done. He's rang the doctor and knows the price and everything, he just won't book himself in. I don't know whether he is a virgin or not. I don't really want to know because i don't like the thoughts of him being with someone else. He's had girlfriends though.

You don't know if he has had sex or not and he is refusing to take an STD test ... ummmm

Tell him he ain't getting any unless he does. If there is nothing to worry about I would imagine you will just have time to hear the door slam as he jumps into the car and speeds down to the doctors.

If he really refuses to have one that I think is a warning sign that he has had risky sex and is no either embarrassed or worried about it. Either way you don't want to have sex with him until he has sorted it out.

Zombrex

Add to above ...

I wouldn't pressure him, especially if it only makes him angry. But just make it very clear you are not ever having sex unless he has one, and you are prepared to have one too.

I don't mean to be blunt but this guy is just your current boyfriend, you will probably have more and sleep with more people after he is just a memory. If he has an STD can gives it to you it could hang around a lot longer than he eventually will.

First and foremost you want to protect yourself. Don't let him guilt trip you into doing anything you are not happy with. That is not what love/relationships are supposed to be about.

Zombrex

gillo wrote:

Try Avainti by Durex, you won't lose much sensation.

Don't use Avainti if you are worried about STDs. They are not made of Latex and their protection against some forms of STD is in question.

If you are unsure use normal Latex condoms.

athena 2000

girl05 wrote:

I've been asking him for ages but he still hasn't gotten the test done. He's rang the doctor and knows the price and everything, he just won't book himself in. I don't know whether he is a virgin or not. I don't really want to know because i don't like the thoughts of him being with someone else. He's had girlfriends though.

girl05, I think it's important to emphasize that losing your virginity to this particular boyfriend might not be your best choice IMO. I think there's more key information missing if you don't know if he is a virgin or not.

From what you've posted, if he doesn't have consideration for you and your health, then you shouldn't let losing your virginity to an unwilling young buck become a such a struggle. That's not what making love is all about - if making love is what you're after. Save it for a more considerate guy. It will be more fun.

irlirishkev

Pet wrote:

and the q-tip thing is overrated, you barely feel it.

This is probably the only thing in this thread I disagree with. Having been on the receiving end of this, I can say it's one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever experienced. I think every male should be made go through this at least once in their life, so they know what's in store should they ever throw caution to the wind. Eurghh... just thinking about it makes me cross my legs!!

But back on topic, I agree with what everyone else is saying. There's no reason on earth why he should not agree to this if it's what you want..

K.

Salaco

Pleasure Plus are the brand of choice

Pet

This is probably the only thing in this thread I disagree with. Having been on the receiving end of this, I can say it's one of the most uncomfortable things I've ever experienced. I think every male should be made go through this at least once in their life, so they know what's in store should they ever throw caution to the wind. Eurghh... just thinking about it makes me cross my legs!!

Well i don't know what went wrong, because I've had it done myself, as have a few people I know, and none of us found it painful..a bit unpleasant yes, but painful no.

Cake Fiend

Wicknight wrote:

Don't use Avainti if you are worried about STDs. ... their protection against some forms of STD is in question.

Any links to show this?

Gillo

Wicknight wrote:

Don't use Avainti if you are worried about STDs. They are not made of Latex and their protection against some forms of STD is in question.
QUOTE]

I've never had a problem, touch wood. then again I've always fussy and don't sleep around. But if you are worried go for extra safe, you will lose alot of sensation but have alot more piece of mind.

Cake Fiend

gillo wrote:

touch wood

fnarr!

(sorry mods )

I don't use anything but Avanti, otherwise I might as well use a Tesco bag, so I'm curious about this idea of them not being effective against STDs...

Zombrex

It says it on the box .. something like "The risks of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STD's), including AIDS (HIV infection), are not known for this condom"

Or at least it did when I last used it, the research might have advanced since then.

Zombrex

gillo wrote:

I've never had a problem, touch wood. then again I've always fussy and don't sleep around. But if you are worried go for extra safe, you will lose alot of sensation but have alot more piece of mind.

TBH I have never felt I lost that much sensation using Durex Extra Safe compared to Avanti, and all it does is mean you can perform longer ... great sensation isn't that good if you come after 5 minutes

Gillo

Wicknight wrote:

It says it on the box .. something like "The risks of pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases (STD's), including AIDS (HIV infection), are not known for this condom"

Or at least it did when I last used it, the research might have advanced since then.

If thats all it is, I imagine it's just a general legal, you will be fine but in the unlikely event, we jsut want to cover ourselves, same as "smoking kills".

Durex are a reputable company, and carry out very extensive testing.

axer

Get a the durex condom pack that has 4 different types and you can try them out. Has lubrication sachets in it aswell!

rsynnott

girl05 wrote:

Hi everyone,
Well I'd like to lose my virginity to my boyfriend and as he STILL hasn't got around to getting an STD test done, he'll have to wear a condom.

Agghh. Do people actually still believe that anyone who comes up negative on an STD test are necessarily safe to have unprotected sex with?

Zombrex

gillo wrote:

same as "smoking kills".

... smoking does kill

r3boot

Wicknight wrote:

... smoking does kill

depends on your genetics and any co-morbid illness. Generally speaking it changes your method of death rather than kills you. (maybe shaves off a couple of years and gives you a stroke .... but I'd be hard pressed so say that it DEFINITLEY is the cause of death)

a more correct way of putting it is to say "smoking could lower your standard of living over the last 5-30 years of your life and may accelerate the development of chronic and fatal disease." But that just wouldn't be as scary as saying smoking kills

Victor

... and back on topic.

Why don't you both go to the clinic together?

Note that the language of sexual health has moved one from STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) to STIs (sexually transmitted infections), for all you know you could both have genital lice.

TerrorFirmer

Answering the original question, me and the gf used durex sensation for the first time last night (since shes on the pill finally we dont have to stick to extra safe), and all I can say is it's great stuff.

Give them a try

LegacyUser

rsynnott wrote:

Agghh. Do people actually still believe that anyone who comes up negative on an STD test are necessarily safe to have unprotected sex with?

If you read the thread, I also said i'm on the pill