grandfather died

Catsmokinpot

my grandfather died 3 weeks ago now. he was only 60, he had a massive heart attack after complaining about a pain in the chest while he was gardening. the man was fitter than anyone i know including me, he was the last person i expected to die, he was the father i never had because my own father left my mother when i was born. i really miss him and i havent really accepted that hes dead. he practically brought me up. when i was younger we used to do everything together.

the thing that makes me feel really crap is that i havent seen him in about 4 years and ive always kept it on the long finger. he sent me a card at christmas and i didnt reply - out of lazyness. he was only 60 and i always thought he was going to be there, and now hes gone. hes given his body up to science so their was no funeral just a service and i couldn't attend because it was over in spain and i couldn't afford a ticket.

when i got the call i felt sick like someone had punched me in the stomach repetedly for about 6 hours and i just fell in a heap on the floor and cried my eyes out now ive been thinking of ways to make it up to him but im not sure i can make up i feel like such a d1ckhead what can i do

galwaydude

im sorry mate to hear about your grandad. Dont beat yourself up about it. I was kinda in the same situation last year when my grandmother died.Feeling guilty about not seeing her as often as i should. Just cherish the memories that you have of him and it will get easier with time. RIP

Stark

Send him good thoughts whenever you can. And learn from your mistakes and don't be so cavalier with the people you have left.

Dinxminx

Felt similar when my grandmothers died on the 14th of June and the 14th of July respectively last year. It was a serious kick in the teeth. Just let the good memories roll- it's all you can do. Other than that, go with what Stark said. Keep your chin up.

xXx

LadyJ

When my mother died I felt guilty for years afterwards because I spent the last couple of years of her life angry at her for being sick. I was only about 11 at the time of course but I found that over time I realised that she knew I loved her regardless.
It doesn't matter that you hadn't seen your grandad in ages,I'm sure he knew how you felt about him and if things were the other way around,would you have wanted him to feel guilty?
I know how hard these feelings of regret are but in time you'll make your peace with them.

The Muppet

Hi Catsmokinpot

Sorry to hear of your loss. It's pretty normal to feel as you are at the moment after the loss of someone close to you. If it wasn't the missed Xmas card it would be something else. It's all part of the grieving process. Try talk to a close realative about it, Im sure you will find that they are experiencing the same feelings at the moment.

Tom

Catsmokinpot

cheers lads. i probably need to cop on to myself and stop thinkin like that it'll take a bit of time though

its kinda **** though it seems that all the good people in ur life just die on ya and all the assholes keep living

galway dude - sorry to hear about ur mam hope she gets the all clear my friend had a biopsy for cervical cancer last month and she got the all clear yesterday lets hope it goes the same way for ur mam, the worst thing about it is the waiting try not to worry bout it too much.