Mother Meddling

Larianne

Okay... what's the deal with parents, in my case, my mother, meddling in my life!! Ok, I'm 22 years old, I know she means well, wants the best for me, blah blah... but sometimes it does more harm than good!!!

In a crappy job at the moment and I'm looking for another one. What I do is quite specialized. Anyway, my mother has been talking to people to try get me a job. But has been talking about me to everyone and it just makes it seem that I'm really desperate and can't get a job on my own. Like who would want to hire someone who gets their mother to look for a job for them.!! Now I can't go to the place where I would like to work as they'll know its like I got it through my mother. So embarrassing!

I do my thing in my own time. I'm researching different places for jobs etc.
Oh it's just so bad!!

Anyway back to the topic, why do they have to meddle!! Grrrrrrrrr... :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

smileygal

because they think they have the right to!!!

My mother still goes round saying 'shoulders back, etc' when my posture is grand. She just can't let go of a habit.

I don't think some women get the whole notion that their daughter is an ADULT now !! :mad:

Larianne

It's just annoying when you're in a **** job and then the chance of getting another one is gone because of her and my aunt trying to get me recruited!! Can't go near the place now. Just makeing my life harder when i defo don't need it.GGrrrr... :mad:

smileygal

ah the collusion of 2...
the two of them need a new hobby to divert them!!
Have you told them to butt out (for future meddling as too late for this one)?

Beruthiel

by any chance do you still live at home?
cos if you do, then your mother will never see you as anything but a kid.

Larianne

Yeah, I live at home, just back from the States. It's just annoying. I pretty much do my own thing and if I need her help I ask. See my aunt's nephew works high up in the place I would like to work,well it wouldn't be my first choice of place, anyway... who wants that, your ma askin for a job. And to make thing worse, I thought a certain guy was working there, who hates me, god only knows why (most ppl love me!) and told my aunt's nephew!! Luckily he doesn't actually work there but still!! Hello don't be going around telling people about other people who work there/hates me blah blah... UUrrgghh!!! Fuming I am!! :mad:

Static M.e.

Seriously If you want to work their and she can get you the job I would just let her fire ahead and get you the job.

No one is going care who got you the job once your in the door and after 3 months no one will even remember.

If its a good job and like you said you work in a specialist field so I would think it wont be easy be finding work, take the job ! fk the rest of them

its a no brainer for me

galwaydude

i agree , if its a good job and a company that you may like who cares, theres plenty of that going on in this country and beyond.

if it can stand on your own two feet while in the new place they will have forgotten how you got the job.

WhiteWashMan

whats the personal issue again?

Evil Phil

Contacts, contacts, contacts. Seriously, if you're good at your job 3 months in nobody will care if you got the job through family or not (at least nobody important to your career ). Take the job, make some money, move out. Everybody has to do it at some stage and the sooner its done the better IMHO.

Once you've moved away she won't be able to meddle in your life as much. Let them help you get the job though - there's many people who'd love to be in your exact position. In the end of the day a company won't employ you if they think you're no good.

Larianne

It's a small establishment, which I'm sure is prone to bitchiness. I'd rather get a job due to my skills and hard work than coz of my mother.

Evil Phil

WhiteWashMan wrote:

whats the personal issue again?

Interfering Mam.

People will bitch anyway Larianne, trust me on that I'm a moderator on boards.ie!!!

I do understand what you're saying but swallow a little pride and you could find yourself in a very good position in life.

tinkerbell

If you get the job now, then you can show your skills and hard work later. So you should be glad of the contacts, your mom can help you get the job that you want. And who cares if the place is bitchy - every workplace has at least one person who bitches. And at the end of the day, who cares what anyone else thinks anyway?

WhiteWashMan

sorry, i didnt see any question marks. looks like a rant to me.

if youre mother is interfering, and you dont like it, then tell her to stop.

now, how easy was that?

Gordon

Yeah, just sit down with her and talk to her about it. If she truly wants the best for you then surely she will comply.

CathyMoran

Most mothers mean well but can come accross as interfering, as if they are living part of their lives through you. Living at home can make things harder, but I would not give up on the idea of your mum helping you to get a job, it is only a temporary situation, and you would have to prove yourself in the end, not your mother. I know that it is not easy to bite your tongue, but at the end, it is always good to have your mum to fall back on. I lived with my mum until I was 24, then briefly when I was 29 - it was not easy at the time, I had to bite my tongue so many times, but in the end I am glad that we had time together.

Sangre

Oh no shes trying to help you get a job!
So what if you use connections, everyone does.

sceptre

WhiteWashMan wrote:

whats the personal issue again?

The original poster tells her mother stuff she shouldn't given that her mother is a bit of a blabbermouth.

Assuming that the latter isn't going to change I'd suggest changing the former.

The_Conductor

Sangre wrote:

Oh no shes trying to help you get a job!
So what if you use connections, everyone does.

No, everyone does not.....

You say that your skills are specialised- there are recruitment agencies in most specialised areas. Contact those agencies in your particular field of expertise, and allow them to put you forward for possible jobs. At very worst they will get you a different job than the current **** job that you have, at very best they may find you a dream job. Put your best foot forward and go out and sell yourself in the marketplace.

As for interfering mothers, c'est la vie, thats life- somethings will never change. Unless you take control of the situation, you will go around in circles.

lacuna

I can understand how annoying it is to have people interfering in your business, but I think that in this case swallowing a little pride taking the job and working hard once you get there is the best option.

You appear to be a little negative about the whole situation. If you took this as a good thing then you might find that you'll have benfitted from the contact. There's no shame in using other people's help to get a job.

The person who employed you won't feel under any pressure to keep you there if you're no good. So the real test is keeping the job rather than getting it in the first place. And that's where you're own personal skills will come in.

Then after you've a nice job that you enjoy, you could have a chat with your mother and explain that you need her to respect your competance in running your own life. Nicely of course, since she did just get you a job!

Evil Phil

Or you could say: Thanks for helping me get that job Mum, now I'm moving out cos I can afford it!

She may never intefere again ...

WhiteWashMan

sceptre wrote:

The original poster tells her mother stuff she shouldn't given that her mother is a bit of a blabbermouth.

Assuming that the latter isn't going to change I'd suggest changing the former.

oh...