2 deadly jokes

LegacyUser

> > > > Subject: Typical Man!!!!
> > > >
> > > > A woman was in a coma, she had been in it for months. Nurses were
>in
> > > > her
> > > > room giving her a blanket bath. One of them was washing her private
> > > > area
> > > > and noticed that there was a slight response on the
> > > > monitor when she touched her.
> > > >
> > > > They tried it again and sure enough there was a small, recognizable
> > > > movement.
> > > >
> > > > They went to her husband and explained what happened, Telling him,
>"As
> > > > crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and
> > > > bring
> > > > her out of the coma."
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > The husband was sceptical, but they assured that they'd close the
> > > > curtains
> > > > for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's
> >room.
> > > >
> > > > After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no
heartrate.

The nurses run back into the room. "What happened!?"they cried.

The husband said, "I'm not sure, maybe she choked".

AND

Daddy's Girl :

An 18 year-old Cavan girl goes to see her mum and tells her
that she has missed her period for two months.
Very worried, the mother goes to the chemist and buys a pregnancy kit.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.
Shouting, cursing, crying,the mother says, "Who was the dirty pig that
did
this to you?
I want to know now!!"
The girl says I cannot tell but after 2 hours interrogation she picks up
the
phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a brand new Ferrari stops at their house,
a mature and distinguished man, with grey hair and impeccably dressed
in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl,
and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the
problem.
However,I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I
will take responsibility.

If a girl is born I will bequeath her 3 stores, 2 townhouses, a beach
villa
and a £1,000,000 bank account.
If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories, and a
£1,000,000
bank account.
If it is twins, a factory and £500,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage..."

At this point, the father, who had remained silent all the time,
places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him:

"You'll ride her again!!!"

ExOffender

How, ah, 'Humourous'.

fade2black

They were funny for God's sake, it's a thankless job posting jokes up here as you'll always find someone who'll mock it with their "hilarious" sarcasm abilities.

Drag00n79

Excellent

funky penguin

fade2black wrote:

They were funny for God's sake, it's a thankless job posting jokes up here as you'll always find someone who'll mock it with their "hilarious" sarcasm abilities.

Well said.

ExOffender

What I meant was it'd be better off in the 'Humour' forum.

kinkstr

fade2black wrote:

They were funny for God's sake, it's a thankless job posting jokes up here as you'll always find someone who'll mock it with their "hilarious" sarcasm abilities.

Well Said v1.1

Dinner

I dont like arrows <<<<>>>>.

Jokes werent too bad though.

fade2black

ExOffender wrote:

What I meant was it'd be better off in the 'Humour' forum.

I see what you're saying alright. Apologies so. It is too easy though to just knock posts these days and I think it happens too much.

funky penguin

ExOffender wrote:

What I meant was it'd be better off in the 'Humour' forum.

Well said V1.2

funky penguin

fade2black wrote:

I see what you're saying alright. Apologies so. It is too easy though to just knock posts these days and I think it happens too much.

Well said V2

Includes patch:

ExOffender

Oh, I agree completely. I'll never understand the appeal. If a thread seems boring/stupid, ignore it! That's what I do. What's really mind-blowing for me is to see these people go back to the thread they've knocked, and scroll down through it to look at the replies to their witty little jibes. How much time can you waste?
Oh and the jokes are pretty good

flogen

fade2black wrote:

They were funny for God's sake, it's a thankless job posting jokes up here as you'll always find someone who'll mock it with their "hilarious" sarcasm abilities.

I'd hardly consider copying and pasting a job.

The jokes were alright by the way.

aidan_walsh

flogen wrote:

I'd hardly consider copying and pasting a job.

Especially when you can be arsed to remove the ">" characters...

Stephen

I liked them

I liked them so much that I robbed one and put it on my blog. Ha-HA!

PullMyFinger!

2nd joke was pretty good. Humour is diff for everyone

Tobias Greeshman

First one was really good, the second was good, though I heard it before!

Buttmunchy

ExOffender wrote:

How, ah, 'Humourous'.

I told people on this forum before not many could spell right. But they didn't believe me. Here's proof. :rolleyes:

jcoote

deadly

LegacyUser

fade2black wrote:

They were funny for God's sake, it's a thankless job posting jokes up here as you'll always find someone who'll mock it with their "hilarious" sarcasm abilities.

Thank you. Isn't the after hours forum for general discussion, ie anything can be said!?!

aidan_walsh wrote:

Especially when you can be arsed to remove the ">" characters...

Big deal, you can still read the fúckin jokes cant you!? :rolleyes: B