hating the way i look.

LegacyUser

does anybody else out there have this problem?
i absolutely despise my appearance. honestly, i believe i am the ugliest person in the world. obviously i'm probably not, and obviously beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that, but i cannot help but detest the way i look.

i cannot stand to be looked at. i can't stand to be judged on my appearance. i couldn't even begin to describe the hideousness of my face. its basically my face that i hate anyway, i don't mind my body, i mean i don't think i'm fat or anything. i just believe i'm ugly monster. i cannot imagine that anyone could look at my face and find it attractive, even though i'm perfectly aware that i've been fancied in the past. no amount of plastic surgery could fix my deformities. i know theres more to life, but it feel like an injustice. i'm forced to reside in the body prison for the rest of my life.

i should mention that i'm a girl by the way. do any other girls feel like this?

i'm sick of it and i'm starting to want to go out less and less. i want to hide.

Beruthiel

honestly, we can all look in the mirror and feel like that some days.
I think that most likely you have some self esteem problems that might need working on.
I find half the approach with people is not how you look but how you come across.
From my own experience, I have found that confidence, humour and intelligence make the person.
Have you ever thought of doing a Personal Development Course? think about doing one!
Also, why not go out and get yourself a new hair do, perhaps some new clothes, make the most of yourself.
At the end of the day though, you have to realise that there are only a few ‘perfect’ women out there, the rest of us are normal, with imperfections, dwelling on those imperfections will only serve to knock your confidence back even more. Work positively towards ignoring the parts you don’t like and work on the parts you do.

cormie

Society is too held up on media, glamour girls and looking pretty. Don't mind all that **** and just be happy that you've got your health and you're alive and well. Maybe don't watch tv or read magazines for a while either if it effects you. And stay away from fake tan. I don't know why people wear that crap. You'll be fine, you have nothing to worry about.

lolli

I agree with you about the fake tan. Orange girls are not sexy. I know how you feel.. i cant understand girls arriving in college at 8am... hair and make up done.. I can barely fall out of bed let alone plaster myself in make up. We all just have to make the most of what we were given. The world would be a very boring place if we werent different to everyone around us. Just use what you've got to the best you can. We all have aspects of ourselves that we do not like... even the best looking people in the world do. I can assure you that you do not like you think you do, you seem to have a distorted self perception. Just look for the good things within yourself. I'm a very shy.. lacking confidence kinda girl too so i know how you feel.

Gilgamesh

think all girls go through that phase at least once in their lives.
Guys maybe too, but not as extreme.
Try dressing different, go to a Spa maybe, I know from a close friend that it really boosted her confidence going there, as they also motivate you and talk into you about what great features you have. Also they might be able to give you a few tips

Static M.e.

As Beruthiel said its confidence, humour and intelligence that make the person.

All that being said tho. you are obviously depressed about how you beleive your face looks, Why dont you organise an evening out and go all out for it, get your hair done, full facial thing and get someone to do your make up for you and then see how good looking you actually are.

We all look in the mirror and see someone we want to change, I dont think anyone actually looks in the mirror and can honestly see themselves as perfect.

Try and stop judging yourself so harshly and try to stop looking in the mirror for long periods of time. No body will look at you as you look at yourself in a mirror. You are who you are, you just need to get more confidence ! as you said yourself if people have fancied you before they obviously thought you were good looking, who are you comparing yourself against that makes you think you look inferior ?
The people on TV or magazines ? probably the same ones that have have their own Make up artist, hair stylist etc etc and who take about 14 hours to get ready every day. its not real life.

If anything I think you need to start going out more and more and get your confidence boosted right up ! maybe take a holiday de stress (bad english) yourself

Good luck

c - 13

Low self confidence sucks. I know because i used to feel the same way (Male BTW).
The only advice I can give is stand tall and be yourself - be proud of who you are - YOU are YOU and nobody else - ignore the glamour mags and shows - these alter your perception on what beauty really is - good looks are something that can be purchased but are they really worth this ??

Think about it - anyone can go have surgery and alter the way they look but will they be a different person ? No. As I said YOU are YOU and you should try to be proud of that. Love yourself for yourself - ignore the fads.

And always remember -
BEAUTY IS ONLY SKIN DEEP - no matter what the media would have you believe.

galwaydude

You should chill out.As someone else said go to a spa, treat yourself.
Go to the hairdressors. Just write down the good things that you like about yourself and things that make you happy in life.Also it sounds like you are a bit depressed.Go to your GP and have a chat.Best of luck!!
We all feel like than some days but life goes on.

WhiteWashMan

what is it that you dont like?

kasintahan

If your worried about it from a "no guy is ever going to want me" point of view then don't.

Physical Attractivness is only one of about 10 know factors in interpersonl attraction and while it is initially important (when you meet someone first); it becomes less prominant with reciprocal liking, availability (proximity and exposure) and similarity becoming more important.

Zillah

Beruthiel wrote:

I find half the approach with people is not how you look but how you come across.
From my own experience, I have found that confidence, humour and intelligence make the person.

Can't agree more. I find that at least 80% of how attractive someone appears to me is in their attitude. If they carry themselves with confidence and poise then it moves them right up the scale.

simu

Experiment with new make-up and clothes and find a style that suits you!

Laguna

It's not just girls who feel they're ugly ya know.

Glipmac

Laguna wrote:

It's not just girls who feel they're ugly ya know.

I used to think that I was ugly, now i have a girlfriend i am not that bothered, at the end of the day it is whats in side that counts people are too quick to judge nowadays... just think like i do "I AM GOD and you dont have the RIGHT to look at me!" and i feel so much better for it.

thats why i brought this t-shirt "No fat chicks" (*Joke*)sorry i mean this t-shirt
"I am God you are Scum now begone from my sight!"

so cheer up it could be worse...

Glip

BEAT

I have totally been there and know how awful you feel. I felt like that about myself from about age 14 until my early twenties! thats a long time.
I am so glad that I got over it, when you are going through it you feel like it will never get any better that things will never change.
Changing your makeup and clothes isnt going to change those feelings, you have to start changing your outlook on life and how you see yourself before you will feel better about yourself.
When I saw the light I looked at everything differently, I mean EVERYTHING. I wish I had the insight growing up I had now...I would have had a very different life.

One thing that helped was reading about someone elses life and how they changed thier outlook and lived for every minute...Jack Kerouac was one of my inspirations to change, he helped me find an inner peace. I have everyone one of his books. Try reading Dharma Bums to start with, its short and gives you an idea of finding that peace within.

I cant tell you how because everyone has to find out on thier own in thier own way how to accept life and find that happiness inside, but when you do you will wonder why you didnt see it before and realise how simple it all is.
It will happen if you want it to I promise, when you get to your lowest and perhaps make some sort of drastic change like I did...it will all come clear.

Life is so very short and so precious, to waste a minute of it feeling disgusted about yourself or caring how others view you seems so unimportant. The most important thing is to be happy and when you can feel that from deep within it shines outwards, you'd be surprised how attractive you become to everyone when you are happy and self confident...even if you dont look like a super model
As hokey as it sounds it is true, leran to love yourself and others will follow suit.

Tobias Greeshman

To OP, as already suggested having a makeover, changing your appearance your dress sense can make you feel more confident in yourself. If you can harness that self-confidence then your self-hatred of your appearance is likely to decrease significantly.

There are only a very small number of people in the world that are truly what you could call ugly, and in general a person who is deemed attractive to one person is deemed unattractive to another.

Beruthiel wrote:

I find half the approach with people is not how you look but how you come across.
From my own experience, I have found that confidence, humour and intelligence make the person.

As Beruthiel has said its the confident/funny people that make the biggest impression, not the ones that try to look like supermodels.

Victor

You are probably over-reacting.

The "I am ugly, I am disfigured" brigade probably do a disservice to for example, people who have suffered head traumas and who are disfigured through no fault of their own.

There was a piece on the Gerry Ryan Show (I know ) recently about our sense of "disgust" and how women are genetically predisposed to being fussier (historically, it meant their babies didn’t wallow in too much “dirt”). This has evolved into the current scheme of things where no dirt is tolerated and contributing to things like asthma. I think this is extending into “unless my face is blemish free and perfectly shaped, I 4/\/\ teh UGALEE”

Stark

And they still freak at you for leaving a baby in the mud.

CerebralCortex

One think I found that made me feel better about myself was running. It worked out negativity from my body and left me feeling more powerfull (stronger,more cofident etc.). Aesthetically I had a more healthy look that is you could say I looked more refreshed and less worn out. Generally I believe physical exercise is good. I hope that helped and don't be so down on yourself every woman has their own unique beauty.

PS: If you ever get the urge start to go running make sure you don't injure yourself like I did that is get some advice first.

Philbert

BEAT wrote:

Life is so very short and so precious, to waste a minute of it feeling disgusted about yourself or caring how others view you, seems so unimportant.

.