Try figure this one out!

KnowItAll

I need advice (any) about a girl called Aine. I was on a night out 2 weeks ago with 4 friends ( 3 girls + 1 guy). Aine who I hadn't seen for some time and who I like was there. She firstly said I was looking well and I had a nice hair cut. As the night went on she was sitting next to me all night. As we walked down the street going to a another pub she locked arms with me (as I'd no i.d - she said to pretend we were going out so I would get in using her id (shes 24)).

In the club she kept pulling me out onto the dance floor. One time when we were sitting down alone she leaned forward as if to say something. I leaned forward to hear what she was going to say. She said nothing but just gazed into my eyes for about 7 seconds until it was interrupted by another friend returning to the table. The music was loud so when she was saying things to me she'd get very close and rest her head against mine.

I texted her a joke the next day. She sent nothing back until 4 or 5 days later saying sorry for the delay in texting back. She then rang me and asked me would I ring her the next week for a chat which I did.

It sounds good, I know but here is where it gets really confusing. She has a boyfriend who lives in the west. She dosn't see him often and when another friend was telling me about the boyfriend Aine quickly changed the subject. She is also a very friendly person, which is the main reason why I'm so confused.

So is there anybody out there who could figure this puzzel out? Especially interested from hearing from the women but if the lads think they could figure it out let me know please.

Mr.Nice Guy

KnowItAll wrote:

It sounds good, I know but here is where it gets really confusing. She has a boyfriend who lives in the west. She dosn't see him often and when another friend was telling me about the boyfriend Aine quickly changed the subject. She is also a very friendly person, which is the main reason why I'm so confused.

So is there anybody out there who could figure this puzzel out? Especially interested from hearing from the women but if the lads think they could figure it out let me know please.

What is so confusing? As the saying goes, "when the cat's away, the mice will play". She is looking for a man and with her bf away out west she has turned her attention towards you. This leaves you with two choices - do you get with this girl knowing she has a bf or do you back off and decide to avoid her until you know more about the situation with her and her bf. It seems to me though this is a classic case of a girl lusting after another guy while her bf is away. What you decide to do about this is up to you but you need to choose wisely my friend.

Dizzyblabla

no no no no no, she's just being nice, don't get wrong ideas until she starts giving out about the b/f... If she ever says anything bad about him, then maybe but chances are, she's just being nice...

Mr.Nice Guy

Dizzyblabla wrote:

no no no no no, she's just being nice, don't get wrong ideas until she starts giving out about the b/f... If she ever says anything bad about him, then maybe but chances are, she's just being nice...

Did you read his post? She gazed into his eyes for about 7 seconds and rested her head on his shoulder. That's a bit more than "just being nice". What guy would want his gf doing that with another guy?

Dizzyblabla

maybe she forgot what she was going to say?!??? and resting her head against his? cause the music was loud, she couldn't hear him, she had to be close...

Mr.Nice Guy

Dizzyblabla wrote:

maybe she forgot what she was going to say?!??? and resting her head against his? cause the music was loud, she couldn't hear him, she had to be close...

But he said she "gazed". When I forget what I'm going to say I don't gaze into another person's eyes! As for resting her head on his shoulder because she couldn't hear him, why would she rest on his shoulder?
When I'm in a club with my friends and I can't hear what one of them says, believe me I don't rest my head on their shoulder!

TerrorFirmer

Alot of girls like to flirt when they have a BF, even if they know its going nowhere and have full intention not to act on it.

Chances are she's either just over friendly, looking to play while her boyfriends away or is just having fun flirting, without intending to take it anywhere.

Be careful!

LadyJ

Was she drunk? A lot of people get very flirty when drunk.
Maybe just ask her straight out or declare your feelings and then you'll know.

Tonto2

She was probably just really drunk and not looking at you at all, sometimes people look like theryre gazing but theyre actually swallowing their vomit.

silly

ya, i'd say she was prob drunk, girls like to flirt and maybe cos her boyfriend is not near she likes to have the feeling of being close to some1 (i.e you) and maybe know for herself that if she was single she could have u?

WhiteWashMan

hey, why dont you just wait until you talk to her, and then you will know everything.

we dont know the girl, we have no idea what shes thinking.

she is either going to ask you for sex, or tell you to go away, or something in between.

hope this helps

xxx

tinkerbell

To the original poster - I reckon MNG hit it spot on there, but then again, you can't really know for sure. She was definitely being way too flirty with you though, which is suggesting something.

But do you want to be her bit on the side while she has a relationship with her boyfriend as well, do you really want to be the other man? And does this not tell you something about the girl as well, that she goes overboard in flirting with other men while her boyfriend is out of town.

You'll just have to find out, the only person that knows is her - unless she's totally treating you like a puppet and just leading you on. I dunno

Third_Echelon

WhiteWashMan wrote:

she is either going to ask you for sex, or tell you to go away, or something in between.

There's an in between??? :eek:

Hang out with her for a while when you are both sober. If its persists over a few sober occassions then persue it.

You've nothing to lose.

KnowItAll

Thanks for the replys everybody! I'll give a little more information.

Tonto2 wrote:

She was probably just really drunk and not looking at you at all, sometimes people look like theryre gazing but theyre actually swallowing their vomit.

She wasn't drunk at all. She was gazing into my eyes from about 6 inches from my face! Her pupils were also enlarged and I don't think she was stuck for words as usually shes very chatty and was talking all night.

Third_Echelon

KnowItAll wrote:

Her pupils were also enlarged

Does she do drugs? Ecstacy being the love drug and all that....

this is a serious quesiton by the way....

Victor

KnowItAll wrote:

Her pupils were also enlarged

Or was it dark!

hardCopy

Tonto2 wrote:

sometimes people look like theryre gazing but theyre actually swallowing their vomit.

what a quote!

KnowItAll

Third_Echelon wrote:

Does she do drugs? Ecstacy being the love drug and all that....

this is a serious quesiton by the way....

No. She wasn't drunk or she has never taking drugs. She was wide awake and alert.

Dreamcatcher

I agree with what WWM and Tinkerbell posted.

If during this next meeting, she becomes even more obviously flirty, be sure ask her about the situation with her bf. It may happen that she's looking for a bit on the side as others have said. If you are ok with this, well...

But on the other hand, you don't really want to become her "boyfriend" as such, if she is into the sort of girl that has no problem with two-timing.

kaimera

I wonder if you didn't know she had a bf would you have posted anyway...

teh bf is away > she's keeping herself occupied. Dont think anything of it less you want it to you later

hoody

too late boy, ya should have thrown her over your shoulder that nite she was gazing into your eyes etc.
now you're just another person she'll call for a chat - in the same situation myself and believe me it is v.v. annoying
easier said than done - get over it man!

KnowItAll

kaimera wrote:

I wonder if you didn't know she had a bf would you have posted anyway...

I probally would have.

The one thing I forgot to mention is in the year or so I've known her, I've never received a text message or got a call from her until after this night. She wants me to call her for chats now!?

thebutlerdidit

In one of your post, KIA, you said she never did drugs. Yet earlier you said you haven't seen this girl in quite a while. People change. They meet new people and they do things that they may not have done before. Wide-eyed, enlarged pupils are a dead give away. Some drugs ( e or coke ) will have this affect and also make the subject a little more chatty or affectionate than usual.
The way I see it, and this is from someone who was not there, does not know all the circumstances, and is talking to you, not the others that posted here. You may have read too much into this, clouded by your own feelings for this girl. OR she may be giving off all the signals to you that you should make a move. How you do this, only you will know. Easy way: wait for the next time your out, show her how much fun you can be to be around, not by paying attetion to her all night, but by interacting with everybody else there, an aura of confidence can play havoc with females feelings. If shes interested, you WILL see her looking at you, paying attention to what you are doing. This is also good because it leaves the decision with her, to whether she is going to cheat on/leave her current Beau. The main thing to take from this is, don't dwell on it, accept that she has a BF, if she wants something more from you, let her be the one the make the move...it sounds that its not that far away, you may not have long to wait, you could even organise the next night out.....keep me posted ( excuse the bad pun!! ) good luck

KnowItAll

She was mentally alert and she has never taking drugs (believe me). Everything I wrote actually happened. Knowing she had a boyfriend I went out that night just to have a laugh and maybe meet someone else. Then the night got interesting.

thebutlerdidit wrote:

wait for the next time your out, show her how much fun you can be to be around, not by paying attetion to her all night, but by interacting with everybody else there, an aura of confidence can play havoc with females feelings. If shes interested, you WILL see her looking at you, paying attention to what you are doing.

Yes, I’ll observe how she reacts when I’m chatting to others. By paying attention to her all night she will think she has me wrapped around her little finger. It gives the impression that I’m obsessed with her. By paying more attention to others I won't be seen as being needy and she’ll have a better overall opinion of me. Great advice!

arbeitsscheuer

hoody wrote:

too late boy, ya should have thrown her over your shoulder that nite she was gazing into your eyes etc.
now you're just another person she'll call for a chat - in the same situation myself and believe me it is v.v. annoying
easier said than done - get over it man!

Concur, you shoulda grabbed the opportunity when you had the chance OP. Carpe Diem and all that. The chance is gone, the initiative lost - no point embarassing both yourself and the girl tryin to get it back now. Just learn from this and remember to be more opportunistic next time