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thats right, yet another what to do thread!

  • 03-05-2005 8:08pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Ok, here it goes...

    Last January I met a boy. He's really nice and all that. We started kissing and stuff and we meet up all the time but i dont want to call him my boyfriend because that implies that it all means something. i got hurt in a relationship before so i dont want one of them, i'm happy with the no strings attached approach.

    until now. the other night we met up and ended up back in his. the usual happened but afterwards it was different. i realised that it actually meant something to me which i dont like. i amn't ready for a relationship. and the guy knows it.

    i have no idea what to do, should i keep meeting up and doing stuff or should i cut all contact or what. im really confused.

    (and i know that this probably doesnt make much sense!)


Comments

  • #2
    WhiteWashMan
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,099 ✭✭✭✭WhiteWashMan


    i dont know.

    what do you want to do?


  • #3
    Dizzyblabla
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭Dizzyblabla


    ooh I know how you feel on that one...
    cut the ties.. us girls are hopeless, we cannot NOT get emotionally attached, which is really annoying, but the more you meet him, the more attached you're gonna get...
    Although, for someone who's "not ready for a relationship" why keep meeting the same guy anyway? a bit of variety maybe? that might help with the attachment!??


  • #4
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    If you are happy with this guy - then go for it.


  • #5
    Seed
    Closed Accounts Posts: 88 ✭✭Seed


    Just because you got hurt before doesn't mean it will happen again. Then again, it could. But you'll never know until you give it a try. And there's no use wondering what could have been. So if it makes you feel good, then go for it. If something bad happens, then it happens.


  • #6
    the_syco
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,316 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    Do the "no sex for 2 weeks" thing. If he's staying around for a shag, he'll go elsewhere (don't lead him on, though), but if he's interested, he'll stay.


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  • #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    No, dont do what Syco says. Thats just playing games with people. Its totally natural to want to make love to the girl you are seeing. Not having sex might fill the guys head with other worries but not because hes pissed off about not having sex.

    USING SEX as a testing instrument is never a good thing for whatever purpose


  • #8
    Stench Blossoms
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,390 ✭✭✭Stench Blossoms


    the_syco wrote:
    Do the "no sex for 2 weeks" thing. If he's staying around for a shag, he'll go elsewhere (don't lead him on, though), but if he's interested, he'll stay.


    yeh do what the syco said.


  • #9
    Stench Blossoms
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,390 ✭✭✭Stench Blossoms


    arrggh wrote:
    No, dont do what Syco says. Thats just playing games with people. Its totally natural to want to make love to the girl you are seeing. Not having sex might fill the guys head with other worries but not because hes pissed off about not having sex.

    USING SEX as a testing instrument is never a good thing for whatever purpose


    not everyone wants to have sex all the time... But if she stops havin sex with him and he still is the same she'll know he's not just after the one thing


  • #10
    Muineach
    Closed Accounts Posts: 575 ✭✭✭Muineach


    heres my 2 cents
    you can be waiting a long time holding back from any relationship for fear of being hurt, sometimes you just gotta put you feelings on the line.
    i know its not easy i've been doing it for too long and am just coming out of it now, and tbh sometimes its sh*t and other times its good


  • #11
    silly
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,722 ✭✭✭silly


    do you think that he might be interested in a relationship or is he into the whole "no strings" thing too?
    what if he is interested, u obviously are seeing as u have been meeting him and only him.
    girl, people get hurt, it happens every1, move on, he might be ur guy?? risks need to be taken if ur interested.


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  • #12
    king_of_inismac
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,368 ✭✭✭king_of_inismac


    OK, here's my view on the situation:

    You've been hurt badly in a past relationship, and you have two ways of dealing with it:

    1. Look for non-commital "relationships", where you will never be in love, and enjoy all that love entails, but also you will never get hurt again in the manner you did before.

    2. Put yourself on the line and take the risk. Accept the fact that at some time in the future you will need/want a serious loving relationship and that going to involve risking getting hurt.


    In my opinion, the latter choice is the more healthy one. Meaningless relationships are just that, meaningless. Don't think of the feelings you have for your new boyfriend as a bad thing, often your new love will help you to get over the hurt of lost love.

    Really hope you take the chance :D

    Martin


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