Opinion

Muineach

Ok first off I'm crap at telling when girls are flirting and I tend to assume the worst, so what do you think of this ?

Yesterday in work I was walking back from getting a coffee with a female friend, we've been very good friends now for about a year or so but knew each other for 3-4 years. She went through a breakup with her boyfriend (~6 years) there about 4-5 months ago.
So on the way back to our desks a new student thats in for the summer walks by and shes way way way off the hotness scale, just my type dark hair hoodie type etc. and my friend knows that this is my type, so I gave a litte smile to the student without even thinking.

Then today on messenger we're blabbing away and she starts talkin about the usual crap then starts giving me a bit of grief bout smiling at the new student, only she didnt say who just said i saw you smiling at a hoodie int work the other day. Now this didnt really narrow things down for me (I'm a bit of a smiling slut) so she kept on and on about it, until I eventually guessed right.

So do you think she was just slaggin me or was there somethign else mixed in ?

Kevin_rc_ie

i think you fancy your colleague.

aidan_walsh

Without any more details I think she may have just been slagging, but for that to cross your mind, you might want to have a proper think about what it really is you want from your friend.

padser

i think she probably fancies you too....and i tink 4/5 months is actually pretty much about the right time to move in

Kevin_rc_ie

Not Necessarily. You may be experiencing the phenonemon known as, "I don't really want you, but I don't want you to want someone else and I don't want you to have some one else".

She's obviously a bit jealous of the younger, more attractive rival. I reckon, you play it real smooth, chase the hot new student and force her into admitting her feelings. Then fornicate wildly with her, get married and have lots of babies (the colleague, not the student). Oh actually, this isn't a TRansition Year student, cos that be really weird.

WhiteWashMan

go for it

LegacyUser

to the OP: what do you mean by "assume the worst"?
that they like you or that they don't??

Kell

Kevin_rc_ie wrote:

She's obviously a bit jealous of the younger, more attractive rival.

Why? She could just maybe perhaps have been going "ooooohhh, (insert name) fancies the new student". Alternatively, if she was giving him major shít she sounds like a possesive bunny boiler and should be told to fúck off or come out and get a slice of the OP's more than willing pie if she wants it.

K-

pigeonbutler

she should sh1t or get off the pot!

Pink Bunny

It just sounds like fun, good natured teasing to me. You've known her for a long time now-is this unusual behavior on her part or do you both slag each other like friends do?

Tobias Greeshman

I reckon she was just slagging you about the student, I really wouldnt read too much into it, she was just slagging you off as a friend. I mean Id do that to my friends, that doesnt mean I want to shag them (female friends I mean). Maybe she does like you, but Id wait till a more obvious sign comes along.

Stench Blossoms

I think if she mentions it again you should ask her is she jealous in a joking way and see what her reaction is

cordelia

orla wrote:

I think if she mentions it again you should ask her is she jealous in a joking way and see what her reaction is

Orla is dead on with this one. That will give you an immediate answer, if you want an answer.
Myself, I have a tendency to slag in a flirtative way with male friends. They know this and sling it back at me.
However, sadly, I also found myself getting jealous of one friend when he started flirting with a girl. I realized that I actually wanted him and was in denial. So, you know, the teasing et al took on a different feel, with me trying to keep myself under wraps and be cool about it while at the same time wanting to take a flamethrower to the lady he was flirting with.

Sadly, this confirms that we women are a bundle of contradictions and men will never decode us... :rolleyes:

ANYWAY - before you go there you need to ask yourself the following question: do you WANT to go there? In other words, do you fancy your friend? Think long and hard about that one. Because once you unearth the answer you can't go back. If you don't fancy her for more than a friend simply ignore the slagging, keep it light, and odds are it will fade with time. If you do fancy her, well, ask Orla's question, judge her reaction (the first coupla seconds or so are imperative here) and...game on!

Victor

cordelia wrote:

Myself, I have a tendency to slag in a flirtative way with male friends. They know this and sling it back at me.

I haven't pull anyone's hair recently. Can I try with you?

Muineach

thanks for the replies, I've been busy since i posted and I forgot to subscribe to the thread so i thought nobody responsed.

I've been thinking about this over the last week and I think that even though there may be something there, I dont think its one I'll be chasing. Even though she is good laugh, intelligent and pretty hot as well I just cant "see" myself with her if you know what I mean.
She's too good a friend to mess things up, which was what happend the last time I was very good friends with a girl, so I'm leaving things be but the ego side of me would just like to know, so next time something like this happens I'll try the "jealous" slag back and watch for the reaction.

but now onto more things, a girl left work for 6 months and on her going away and bunch of us headed out for some drinks. I kinda know her but when the two of us were left outside smoking and then walking back inside she stopped me help my hand and said how she though i was a great guy etc. and stopped looking into each others eyes for a minute or two then walked back inside.

Now i had assumed she knew i liked her and was letting me down gently, but hte next day in work I was on a training course and suddlent it hit me what if it wasnt that, i nearly screamed noooo in the class. Anyway shes back in work on monday, so things might get interesting. nothing like 6 months of wonder what ifs

I gave the full explanation of the night to a few close friends(M+F) and they all thought i was made not to "go for it" and one of the lads say if you do end up with her i'm gonna thump ya, guys liek you arent supposed to get ones like that. so heres hoping....

anyway the show goes on
thx for the replies btw

Gordon

Go for it man. The worst that can happen is that she'll not want a relationship or a sexual encounter with you. And lets face it - that's not happening right now anyway. So logic dictates that you should at least make a gamble, either way, either outcome - you don't lose: you either remain in the same situation or you win your bet.

Muineach

exactly i have to get over my little fear of complete humilation :P
which i am slowly getting over
and its been my experience that its the "what if's" that kills ya

Gordon

Yes.

"you can be waiting a long time holding back from any relationship for fear of being hurt, sometimes you just gotta put you feelings on the line."

As someone said earlier.

Muineach

lol that was my reply to another post :P

i tend to do loads of posts in one night then nothing for a week

KnowItAll

You might as well go for it. Nothing to lose.