Kettle

shiv

You are the most closed person I know
Have you never been opened by steam?

Did someone catch a glimpse
of your romantic side once
and cause you to seal right back up?

Careful laughter and precise quips abounding
Surrounding our something's-about-to-happen
Don't you know it's your torn-open vulnerability
I'm after?

golfgirl

I like this poem Shiv, simple and effective .. simplicity does it for me. We all are kettles sometimes, keep ourselves closed off, not letting off steam for fear we may be discovered. I'm new to the creative writing board ... threw a piece together yesterday .. 'a text', would appreciate any feedback (14 have read it and no comments yet ). Thanks.

shiv

golfgirl wrote:

I like this poem Shiv, simple and effective .. simplicity does it for me. We all are kettles sometimes, keep ourselves closed off, not letting off steam for fear we may be discovered. I'm new to the creative writing board ... threw a piece together yesterday .. 'a text', would appreciate any feedback (14 have read it and no comments yet ). Thanks.

Hi golfgirl, thanks for your positive feedback and interpretations, they're really on the ball, very thoughtful For me "kettle" simply meant that's what I felt I was being with this particular person, trying anything to get him to open up...Welcome to the board, will have a look at your piece now. Thanks again

MojoMaker

Nice one Shiv. I question the title though. It would not be regarded as an implement for opening something, the obvious envelope association aside. Rather a kettle suggests release, permeation, diffusion etc. Interested to hear your opnion.

shiv

MojoMaker wrote:

Nice one Shiv. I question the title though. It would not be regarded as an implement for opening something, the obvious envelope association aside. Rather a kettle suggests release, permeation, diffusion etc. Interested to hear your opnion.

Hi MojoMaker, thanks for your feedback on this one. I guess I was assuming people would immediately tie in the title with the first couple lines of the poem, which talk about being opened by steam, but maybe it was too literal... And yet the permeating someone's shell also works in an unplanned, un-thought-out way! Sometimes I find titles very tricky. I don't want them to be too convoluted, maybe I either thought too hard or limited myself on this one. Next time it shall simply read "untitled"!!

el_tiddlero

the best thing to do with titles is to count to 17 just before you need one and then jus write down the first thing that pops into your head after 17... it works on occasion, a little too well on some occasions..

shiv

el_tiddlero wrote:

the best thing to do with titles is to count to 17 just before you need one and then jus write down the first thing that pops into your head after 17... it works on occasion, a little too well on some occasions..

what's so magical about 17?
were you the one that went on about picking random titles that really don't have any connection to the poem simply to draw people in, or am i mixing you up with someone else?

el_tiddlero

there's nothing magical about 17, you just need a specific point to make a decision at.. its like a ritual, you do the same thing each time so you never have to worry about having to come up with a title cos you'll know you'll have one after 17.. or after the end of whatever way you decide to do it.....
yeah twas me that was talking about random thread titles, not poem titles, i kinda see a thread title as the ad for whats inside, might make a few people who wouldn't normally come here drop in and say hi!!