Yet another "how to know what she's thinking?"

LegacyUser

My first post here btw, so go easy on me!
This is very similar to this thread:
http://boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=248574
except the male/female roles are reversed.
I'm sharing a house temporarily with 4 others, only 1 of whom I knew before. I'm getting on very well with one of the girls who I didnt know before yet dont know if she sees us just as friends or would like to take it further. Normally I'd not be bothered fooling myself but some little things have made me think maybe she feels the same as myself.

If I say anything humorous or make any joke she seems to laugh a LOT more than anyone else who's around at the time (without her laugh seeming non-genuine, "non-genuine???" i.e. fake!) ; this is either that she really does find me funny, or else is exaggerating a bit to make me notice her / let me know she finds me funny/interesting.

She was enquiring about where I'll be living soon and saying how handy it'd be for us to meet up for a drink even though in reality it'd take a bit of travelling on her behalf.

When we're watching TV, she's quick to point out any differences between herself and some of the "bad behaviour" seen in some women, pointing out how she'd never do that, be like that, etc. Various other events have made me think she's showing more interest in me than a girl normally would.

On the other hand she is very friendly to everybody so I don't want to be fooling myself. We get on really well, have a lot of common opinions and views on various issues and seem to come from similar backgrounds.

I've not got much experience with women so my confidence is not very high. I'd particularly like to hear the opinions of females to say if they identify with anything I have said. It'd make a very awkward house if I said anything to her/asked her out and found out that I'm the only one of us who feels like this! But as threebeards said on the other thread: "If you're to regret something, make sure it's for something you've done, not something you haven't."

thanks in advance for any opinions or advice

Victor

Thats very dangerous territory. When you break up, you have to move out as well.

4Xcut

if you say you are moving out soon then you could leave it till then or you could just go for it now, carpe diem and all of that. Just remember that you can't turn back time if all goes arse over tit. You could always ask someone else in the house if they know anything, i know this is very "my friend likes your friend" but if you don't want to risk your friendship then this might be the offer.

WhiteWashMan

we dont know what shes thinking.
we dont know her.

ask her yourself. it will make it easier for you to know for sure.

Con9903

Its hard to know, you could be in there, or then again you could not, it depends. Theres a girl I know that was sending out signals like that and being all touchy feely and that, next week she was going out with someone else.

neacy69

sounds to me like she is interested but obviously i cant tell cos i don't know her!!

you should just go for it and see!!!!

Dreamcatcher

? man ? wrote:

If I say anything humorous or make any joke she seems to laugh a LOT more than anyone else who's around at the time (without her laugh seeming non-genuine, "non-genuine???" i.e. fake!) ; this is either that she really does find me funny, or else is exaggerating a bit to make me notice her / let me know she finds me funny/interesting.
She was enquiring about where I'll be living soon and saying how handy it'd be for us to meet up for a drink even though in reality it'd take a bit of travelling on her behalf.
When we're watching TV, she's quick to point out any differences between herself and some of the "bad behaviour" seen in some women, pointing out how she'd never do that, be like that, etc. Various other events have made me think she's showing more interest in me than a girl normally would.

On the face of it, these sound to me like positive signs that she is interested. Especially the watching tv comments sounds to me like she is reaching out to you, trying to connect with you.
As others have said, though, it is difficult to give advice without really knowing the girl, despite the fact that you've given some examples of your own perceptions of the scenario.

From your post you sound like a really sound and observant, articulate bloke - and you deserve/would want the same from a prospective girlfriend(if you are in the frame of mind of wanting to have a long-term gf, partner in life).

My advice here would be that if you sense that she is into you, and as you say, you are shy or whatever, and she is more outgoing than you, then just go with the flow.. become real friends, gradually. Occasionally ask her about her own life in the normal flow of conversation as the opportunity arises. Be interested in her as a person, if you are, then she would appreciate hearing that, believe me. Just be patient and move slowly, naturally - time will tell! - that is my advice.
I think that it's really great that you get on well with this girl, and imo the best relationships have as their base a foundation of true friendship.

? man ? wrote:

On the other hand she is very friendly to everybody so I don't want to be fooling myself.

There's no need to be fooling yourself. Just have patience and enjoy/develop the friendship, as you are comfortable with her(but just keep your eyes open in case she's just a flirt with everyone to boost her own ego/lack of self-confidence).
Maybe, she'll make a move that will make you positive that she's into a relationship. Just relax and nurture the friendship would be my advice.

Hope you are happy and that things work out.

Dreamie

Victor

Dreamcatcher wrote:

Especially the watching tv comments sounds to me like she is reaching out to you, trying to connect with you.

Maybe, but she might just be trying to treat him as a human being.

Bamboozled

Considering she's enquiring as to where you'll be living and about meeting up for a drink, take it as a good sign. You could always wait until then, go for your drink (without the rest of the housemates) and see how it progresses from there.

Dizzyblabla

ok, I'm the blunt type, so I would generally just say it out straight (with a few drinks in me obviously) - because BOYS ARE STOOPID!! she's probably given as many hints as she possible can that she's interested (playing with her hair, giggling, not laughing (try and distiguish how she laughs at your jokes and others jokes) at what what you say, being a little more touchy with you than other people, ASKING YOU OUT FOR A DRINK??!! emm.. the list is endless on how girls make it obvious that they're interested, but you stupid boys are all the same and can't take a hint! I know it all sounds a little clichéd, but it's true, we turn into babbling fools when we like a guy, you'll find us talking far more than normal when you're around!! (yes, it is possible!)

It's obvious that you already have taken a note of how she acts around you, but just look for the subtle hints, like next time she says you have to meet up after you move out (which she will mention again if she's interested), ask her if she's like to go for a drink some time sooner, she will probably applaud you for finally getting the picture!

If you are really unsure, do what 4Xcut said, check out with other female housemates if you think she's interested, or even say in passing "oh, she's really nice, I'll miss her when I go" - and watch their reaction, you'll be amazed at how transparent we really are!!!

oh - and good luck!

LegacyUser

thanks everyone for taking the time to reply , esp. Dreamcatcher and dizzyblabla.
It could go as Con says that she'd think nothing of meeting someone else or as dizzy says maybe I've just been blind as fukc! - well obviously not, ,considering I posted about it here but half blind to it, i.e. not too sure.
Anyway, it's probably best to just leave it continue as friendship til I move out.

Rossonero

? man ? wrote:

If I say anything humorous or make any joke she seems to laugh a LOT more than anyone else who's around at the time (without her laugh seeming non-genuine, "non-genuine???" i.e. fake!) ; this is either that she really does find me funny, or else is exaggerating a bit to make me notice her / let me know she finds me funny/interesting.

She was enquiring about where I'll be living soon and saying how handy it'd be for us to meet up for a drink even though in reality it'd take a bit of travelling on her behalf.

When we're watching TV, she's quick to point out any differences between herself and some of the "bad behaviour" seen in some women, pointing out how she'd never do that, be like that, etc. Various other events have made me think she's showing more interest in me than a girl normally would.

On the other hand she is very friendly to everybody so I don't want to be fooling myself. We get on really well, have a lot of common opinions and views on various issues and seem to come from similar backgrounds.

IMO, from what I read, she does like you. Go for it, and now. All are genuine signs she likes you.

--Kaiser--

Dizzyblabla wrote:

BOYS ARE STOOPID!!

She's right you know, whenever i get a slight hunch that a girl maybe fancies me it invariably turns out that she does. guys aren't too good on subtlety

[InsertHandle]

Dizzyblabla wrote:

just look for the subtle hints

I'm useless with this subtle hints thing, I know about the playing with hair/red lipstick and a few months ago found out about the touching you on the arm thing. I also heard some carzy thing about women slipping their foot in and out of there shoe??

About a year ago i was listening to the radio and some woman was plugging her new book about what to look for. Does anyone have any good books or Dizzy can you make a list for us STOOPID guys out there??

Sleepy

We're men, we don't do subtle

ferdi

--Kaiser-- wrote:

She's right you know, whenever i get a slight hunch that a girl maybe fancies me it invariably turns out that she does. guys aren't too good on subtlety

funny, its the exact oposite with me....but then not many women have given me these 'subtle' hints so i'm unable to read them due to lack of experience.

LegacyUser

thanks everyone for the thought-provoking replies. I was a little hesitant to post here at all about it but am defo glad I did now as it has cleared up a lot of things in my mind, a problem shared is a problem halved, etc. .

No change in the situation since my first post, other than now when I make a joke, I regularly hear her mutter - "Oh you're so funny" or similar words.

She does seem to have a lot of male friends btw so maybe she is like this with everyone so I've told myself not to get too attached to her.

as an aside, I remember watching "The Kumars at no. 42" on BBC and in an interview with Rachel Stevens they asked her what she looked for in a man. She said he had to make her laugh and one of the presenters said somehting like "Yeah but there has to be more to it than that or else the Chuckle brothers would get all the women!" Found it very funny at the time but also very true perhaps!

Tar.Aldarion

what does subtle mean i havnt noticed it

Dizzyblabla

ferdi wrote:

funny, its the exact oposite with me....but then not many women have given me these 'subtle' hints so i'm unable to read them due to lack of experience.

see... that's cause you're stoopid too!! it's not that you haven't gotten the subtle hints, it's that you were too stoopid to see them *sigh* will guys ever learn?

Sangre

Its actually the girls who never learn.

We. Dont. Get. Signals.

cordelia

Sangre wrote:

Its actually the girls who never learn.

We. Dont. Get. Signals.

Then. You. Need. To. Figure. Them. Out.
It. Will. Serve. You. Well. In. The. Long. Run.
BTW. Why. All. The. Full. Stops. ? .

Victor

Emphasis ....

We'll stop now.

LegacyUser

hi again, I am the OP.

Not much update since my last post a few weeks back cos like I said things could be awkward while we still are living in the same house.

However, recently she tells me a male friend of hers is coming to visit, then later our housemate asks her in front of the 2 of us when her ex-bf is coming?
She quickly got defensive and kinda embarassed saying they are just really good friends etc., even though our housemate merely asked a question! Sounds like she trying to emphasize that she's single to me??

When he had left, she was giving out about how he didnt do sth. he had promised, etc., ,saying stuff like "You think you know someone, etc." and saying he was acting a bit of a prat, etc. This was repeated to me more than once.

Am I REALLY stupid to be still wondering what she is thinking as I asked originally in the title of this theread??

WhiteWashMan

oh for god sake.
get on with it already.

either ask her out and get it done, or dont ask her out and stop posting here and telling us how scaredy cat you are.

in response to you:
yes, you are being really stupid.

Beruthiel

?man? wrote:

Am I REALLY stupid to be still wondering what she is thinking as I asked originally in the title of this theread??

yup
you have two choices

you can go to your grave, still wondering
or
just ask!

kstanl

WhiteWashMan wrote:

oh for god sake.
get on with it already.

either ask her out and get it done, or dont ask her out and stop posting here and telling us how scaredy cat you are.

in response to you:
yes, you are being really stupid.

Be quiet you utter twat.

Listen chap, just ask her out. You said it yourself, it's better to regret something you've done than something you haven't.

Scraggs

Just do it, ask her out!! i really really dont think you'll have to worry about rejection and i cant emphasize that enough!!!
Like all the stuff you mentioned just screams out that she likes ya especially the 'ur so funny...' i think thats most girls code for 'i want you' and the bringin the lad over thing was so staged to gauge a reaction from you in my opinion!!!
let us kno how it goes....i do love a good romance story...

Beruthiel

kstanl wrote:

Be quiet you utter twat.

banned for personal abuse
B

Dizzyblabla

If you don't ask her, you will spend your life wondering "what if"...

alantc

Ask her if she wants to go out with you when you're going out at the weekend, have a few drinks at home first, you'll know by 11pm.

ando

--Kaiser-- wrote:

guys aren't too good on subtlety

ditto, need a list

LegacyUser

Scraggs wrote:

Just do it, ask her out!! i really really dont think you'll have to worry about rejection and i cant emphasize that enough!!!
Like all the stuff you mentioned just screams out that she likes ya especially the 'ur so funny...' i think thats most girls code for 'i want you' and the bringin the lad over thing was so staged to gauge a reaction from you in my opinion!!!
let us kno how it goes....i do love a good romance story...

Scraggs (and others), thanks v much for postive and helpful response unlike WWM whom someone has been banned for speaking out against!?!

tbh I don't think it was staged bringin her ex-bf over as they do seem to be good friends, but yes the "you're so funny" bit you're probably right.

In any case we won't see each other now for a few months due to summer cirumstances so I'll have to see what the craic is in a few months.

ps Sorry that I'm going on so much but yes I have a fear of rejection although encouragement here has eased that a bit