good night out

Gilgamesh · 21-04-2005 9:59am #1

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the
night celebrating Ireland's draw with Germany. Mick, the bartender,
says "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy"

Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then." Paddy spins around on
his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.

"Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself
off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face.
"Shoite, Shoite!"

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to
the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door
and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes
a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto
the sidewalk. He falls flat on his face. "Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin'
focked," he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawled to the door and
shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He
takes a look up the stairs and says "No fockin' way".

He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "I Can make it to
the bed." He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face.
"Fock it" he says and falls into bed.

The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of
coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last
night?".

Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?"

"Mick called. You left your wheelchair at the pub."