Long distance

LegacyUser

hey ppl,

My girlfriend is gone to England for three months. I love her to bits and shes only gone a few days now, and I'm absolutely miserable

. I want to wait for her, and I know it's not too long, but at the moment I feel terrible.

Sometimes I think I'd be better alone, or maybe finding someone who lives/works nearby cos I find the seperation so hard...

Has anyone been through this, or have any good advice?

Thanks

AARRRGH

This is a joke, right? She has been gone a few days and already you are thinking of dumping her? Get a grip.

irlirishkev

For God's sake, it's only 3 months! Surely you can last that long..

Beruthiel

My girlfriend is gone to England for three months. I love her to bits and shes only gone a few days now, and I'm absolutely miserable


you love her so much you can't even wait 3 months

sorry, not buying it
do her a favour and break up with her

Gilgamesh

reading this, the only question I have is how old are you?
3 months is nothing, flights to the UK are VERY cheap and you could visit her even on a weekend or something.
Get over it and go out with some mates to take your mind off her.
get webcams or seomthing and chat through the web.
tons of ways to handle this.

RuggieBear

I did long distance for 2 years...3 months isn't that long. Long distance is a pain but Ryanair makes travelling relatively cheap. If it's worth it, the pain will be worht it

LegacyUser

my gf lives in london!

count yourself lucky dude.

why can't you go over and see her? flights are dirt cheap.

Gilgamesh

paperclip wrote:

why can't you go over and see her? flights are dirt cheap.

and we are back to my question how old he is?

LegacyUser

if he misses her that much, age shouldnt be a problem, unless he's 8 or so

Gilgamesh

paperclip wrote:

if he misses her that much, age shouldnt be a problem, unless he's 8 or so

agreed on that, but maybe he is too young to fly by himself, hehe.


he doesn't seem to be reacting anymore anyway, maybe he got on the next fligh and went over

Sorry Ruthie in advance for the sarcasm

*Page*

well my partner goes away quite alot and i do miss him so much when he goes but its great to see him happy.. we meet up half way through.

at one point he thought finishing things between us would be easier, no pain ect. but thats what makes the relationship stronger!
absents makes the heart grow fonder!

cousin_borat

oh Christ, in fairness it seems that you're young so probably can't afford to fly regularly to see her. Seriously though, get a grip

Gilgamesh

sorry but since when is a relationship easy?
I agree with you Page there is allways a way to sort these things out, but as flying to england is shorter than getting the train from Dublin to shannon,, I wouldn't really consider it long distance in this case.

Long distance relationships are very tough and do strengthen the relationship if successful, but imho to see if this is going to be successful, it allways depends how long the partners were together in the first place as well

the_syco

Beruthiel wrote:

My girlfriend is gone to England for three months. I love her to bits and shes only gone a few days now, and I'm absolutely miserable


you love her so much you can't even wait 3 months

sorry, not buying it
do her a favour and break up with her

From the quote you took from the OP's post, I think he means has anyone else ever got mierable when the other half goes away for a bit.

Sounds to me like the first few days are not being very good to him, and he's asking how people in a similair situation got "used to it".

Nasty_Girl

Long distance is horrific really but if you really love the person then you wait.

Personally speaking, and before I get my throat jumped down; this is just my opinion, I think that if you really loved someone you'd know if you wanted to wait for them or not.

Zombienosh

Long distance? ........ England.
Seperation so hard?.......... 3 Months.



hmm yeah jaysus, I'd kill myself.

misswex

Did you see each other alot before she went away? It can be easier to cope with a long distance relationship when it is like that from the start as your used to not seeing the person as much but as everyone else has said, flights are cheap and in the long run of things 3 months is such a short time. Can you not afford to travel over to see her and vica versa?

tinkerbell

Jees man, it's only for three months, and it's only to England! It's not like she's gone to Australia for a year. England is less than an hour away by plane. Get a grip dude!

If your relationship is strong, it'll last through anything - three months is nothing. Especially when ye can visit each other quite a lot.

Yes you will be miserable for the first few days til you get used to the idea, but toughen on, and before you know it, the three months will be over, and you'll be able to spend time with your girly 24/7

I am MAN

I think it's hard enough to be honest.

I would be feeling exactly the way the original poster is.

*Page*

The first time my guy went away the first week was the hardest.... then we decided to meet up... then we did in paris!! yummy... then he wos going to be coming home... then he went missing.......that was the hardest not knowing where he was....... but he's home for now(i think he's going away again soon) but its all for a good cause!

chin up and just smile she'll be home soon enough!!

catspring

it is hard to be separated from a boy/girlfriend, and the first few days will be the worst, but am sure you'll get used to it soon, and three months is really not that long.
like other posters said go out with your mates, try to take your mind off it; and book a flight over to visit her for about halfway through to give you both something to focus on. the time will fly, and it will make your relationship stronger in the long-run.
good luck

scojones

Keep yourself active, take up a sport, go swimming, go out with the lads and the time will fly.

seamus

The first week sucks.

You'll get used to it. Give yourself 3-4 weeks before you consider going over to see here though, otherwise you'll make yourself miserable again for a week after you get home.

As sjones says, use this opportunity to do stuff. Remember all those times your girlfriend insisted you come over, and you were cursing the fact that you weren't getting anything done? Do them now.

My gf is on a 2-year course in London. I head over once or twice a month.

Willymuncher

I did and am doing long distance for the past 3 years, only 1 year left....then she moves here, count yourself lucky dude, england isn't that far...i've to deal with my girl being in oklahoma, usa :-/ but i don't think long distance is hard, its hard being apart but if you love that person, nothing will seperate ye, the times we had to leave each other were sh!tty...so i understand what you're feeling, but its only 3 months....it'll all be back to normal before you know it

CathyMoran

My ex's next gf was over in the UK for 3 months - the way he kept it going was by keeping the contact consistant (emails every day and phone calls once a week) and making the most of their time together, he also got LOTS of work done and spent more time with his friends.

Dinxminx

It's three months. Not that bad. And it's England! Not long distance! If you love her you'll survive the three months and wait for her!!!

Victor

I think you are just over-reacting to the suddenness of being without her. You probably have more time on your hand than usual and have "started thinking".

Phone her!

dundealgan

Well i have been living in Spain since September and my boyfriend is in Dublin, and yes it is difficult at times, but 3 months isn't that long in my experience. The first 3 months will go slow (or did for me) and since Christmas the time has flown until i get to go home again.

But as other people have said already, take advantage of it, it can be a great chance to catch up with friends who you might have drifted away from during the relationship, and once you keep yourself occupied the time will pass quite quickly until you see your girlfriend again!

Keep in touch with your girlfriend regularly but don't overdo or you will find you are both bickering about nothing, which will cause more damage than good to the relationship!

Don't worry, keep your chin up! and if you love her as much as you say, then wait for her! it will be worth the wait!

LegacyUser

me too dude, well she lives over there.

once or twice a month.

pity ryanair don't do air miles.

but i might get one of their credit cards, think you get a free flight, after you've booked 5, or 6.

seamus wrote:

The first week sucks.

You'll get used to it. Give yourself 3-4 weeks before you consider going over to see here though, otherwise you'll make yourself miserable again for a week after you get home.

As sjones says, use this opportunity to do stuff. Remember all those times your girlfriend insisted you come over, and you were cursing the fact that you weren't getting anything done? Do them now.

My gf is on a 2-year course in London. I head over once or twice a month.

LegacyUser

Am I the only person who thinks the OP has every right to be miserable?
My boyfriend was in Sligo (I'm in Galway) for nearly 3 weeks earlier this year and I was so miserable without him. He's going back to Sligo for 4 months in the summer and though I've told him I want us to stay together, I really don't know if I can do it. I'd miss him dreadfully. Plus I'm not sure if i could trust someone to stay faithful for that long.

Lex_Diamonds

same_here wrote:

Am I the only person who thinks the OP has every right to be miserable?
My boyfriend was in Sligo (I'm in Galway) for nearly 3 weeks earlier this year and I was so miserable without him. He's going back to Sligo for 4 months in the summer and though I've told him I want us to stay together, I really don't know if I can do it. I'd miss him dreadfully. Plus I'm not sure if i could trust someone to stay faithful for that long.

You appear to be prime relationship material. Well done.

tinkerbell

Jees, if your relationship can't survive a few months apart, then it obviously wasn't a very good one at that. And that you wouldn't trust him either? Certainly shows your opinion of him.

Victor

same_here wrote:

Am I the only person who thinks the OP has every right to be miserable?

Perhaps, but it's a readily solvable problem. Phone her, e-mail her, mIRC her, text her, write her, visit her.

Elessar

Sweet Jeebus, be happy you even have a girlfriend to care about at all!

jonny68

Ive just split up with my missus,we`ve had a long distance relationship for the last year,she`s Irish but living in England,the distance was a factor but it was other sh it that caused the breakup (she called it,her doing :eek: )its extremly difficult having a long distance relationship especially when one person ie me does all the running or should that be flying,when i seen this thread i had to reply,if your bird is only going for 3 months thats nothing,and if your not prepared to make that work then its clear you dont love her,me i tried everything yet nothing was good enough,she reads this occsasionaly as well and will no doubt know its me posting this not that i give a f uck,anyway the bottom line mate is if your really into and love your bird stick with her,some of us dont get another chance..enough said........

jonny68

paperclip wrote:

me too dude, well she lives over there.

once or twice a month.

pity ryanair don't do air miles.

but i might get one of their credit cards, think you get a free flight, after you've booked 5, or 6.

Yeah you do actually i have one but i despise Ryanair and refuse to fly with them anymore but thats another issue.........

LegacyUser

Lex_Diamonds wrote:

You appear to be prime relationship material. Well done.

Meaning...?

Scarinae

Like everyone else is saying, three months isn't very long at all actually. Getting used to it is the hard part. The first week will be hell, but then yo'll gradually get used to it, and once the time is up you'll wonder where it went. It's easy these days to stay in contact, the phone really is the nicest way cos you can hear their voice but I know it could work out kind of expensive so maybe call every two/three days and send regular emails/texts as well. If the texts cost a lot, you should both set yourselves up with internet text accounts - get her an Irish one and get yourself an English one - so you can just text each other for free! You'll get through it, don't worry. If you can manage it, a visit halfway would probably make it easier for you, even if it's only for a couple days. I'm in a long-distance relationship right now, almost two years of living far away from each other, but we see each other every couple of months. The worst time was definitely at first.

tinkerbell

same_here wrote:

Meaning...?

I do believe he was being sarcastic. You said that you wouldn't trust your boyfriend to stay faithful to ya if he went away. You can't have a relationship without trusting someone!

To the original poster - the first few weeks will be like hell, but you'll gradually get more used to the idea. Then when she comes back, you'll appreciate her a lot more

Dinxminx

Same_here, you live in Galway. He'll be in Sligo. They're TWO COUNTIES away from each other. My God, relax! And not trusting your boyfriend can be dangerous for your relationship. Where there's no trust there's never going to be any real love...

cordelia

Not to be cruel, but my god, what's the problem here?
I was in a long distance relationship for two years seperated by one continent and an ocean. Talk about racking up frequent flyer miles and long distance rates!
But, seriously, people here are right. If you're that doubtful even with such easy access, maybe you need to consider the validity of your relationship. It doesn't mean that you should be happy about the separation, of course, it just means you can take in the long term view here. Honestly, you'll survive.
Think about all the potential in kinky phone calls, webcams, emails, weekends!