Is a break always necessary?

Seoige

Just wondering what you guys think about this one,

Me and a friend of mine were chatting the other day, we've both been going out with our boyfriends for well over a year, I'm TOTALLY in love and I can genuinely say I've met just about the nicest and almost perfect guy I could (I thought this about him even before we started going out)...however, she reckons that at our age (early 20's) relationships don't have a chance in the long run because one or both parties will want to go out there and see if there's anyone/thing better, and also that you're missing out on finding yourself etc.

While I agreed with her that can sometimes be the case, why break up something which is so right and makes you both so happy, just to see if you're missing out on much which (from my endless ranting while I was single) isn't alot. It's not like we do everything together, we have seperate lives, and I'm planing on travelling this summer without him so I don't think I'm missing out on new life experiences.

I've seen it work with other people, my parents included.
Just wondering what people think and what experiences people have had,
Thanks!

Seoige

Aaw darn, am new here so got title confused-doh ! Apologies

Figment

Everyone is different. Do what suits you.
Sounds like you have a good relationship and a healty attitude to it. I wouldnt worry.

Nuttzz

if its the right person its the right person no matter what age you meet them at. it appears your friend has no experience in long term relationships so what makes you think she knows what she is talking about

uberwolf

this mirrors meself and me lass somewhat - she even went away for the summer as well at one point!!

We've debated the break thing without conclusion. From one perspective yes we're young (started with her at 20 and I'm now 24) but equally this is the age that people settled at for generations.

IMHumbleO part of the problem people now encounter in relationships is that they believe everything has to be like *insert american soap here* that it's always gee whizz and hunky dory. This illusion see's people futiley chasing the perfect existence. If you have someone you're happy with I'm not recommending marriage and kids, but recognise that there is no universal formula for success, and that what one person has found successful may not work for you.

There's also the debate that maybe we should move past this lifelong relationship malarkey, that we're not built for it. *shrugs*

Beruthiel

Seoige wrote:

Aaw darn, am new here so got title confused-doh ! Apologies

I've changed the title for you

I for one think you continue to grow and change up until the age of 28 or so, by then you are probably going to stay that person for life, people will always change of course, but by then you know where your head is at and what you want.
There is no particular rush to do anything other than hang out with your b/f, do as you feel and do not be infulenced by anyone if you are happy, everyone is different.

Beruthiel

thread starter
I have merged your two threads as there is no need for two of them

Sherifu

Beruthiel wrote:

thread starter
I have merged your two threads as there is no need for two of them

Modding as it should be done \o/
Take notes you other lazy mod bums.

ARGINITE

Only time can tell.
It will either work or not, and theirs no way to tell.

Was in the same position 4 months ago, was going out with a girl for 3 1/2 years and than out of no where she told me she wanted to take a break.
I have to say the relationship was really really great but after she moved to Dublin and started a job, she began to have doubts about whether she was in love with me or not.
So about 2 months ago she finally told me she wasn't in love with me anymore and that was the end of that!

So basically the point of the story is. That people are constantly changing and you cant control that.

Hope it all works out for you.

Seoige

Thanks! You've all pretty much confirmed what I thought myself. Do what's right for yourself! My friend is in a relationship the same length as mine (1 1/2 years) so not sure if you could say either of us is in a REALLY long term relationship. She's completely pesimistic about the whole relationship thing generally though (bet her boyfriend is delighted!!), she doesn't see the point when you're young...in saying that she is in one so not entirely sure where her logic is coming from. But each to their own, I'd hate to suddenly realise at 28 that I had given up the best thing that ever happened to me for the sake of some rule or something. As long as I'm happy I'm not going to worry about it!! Thank you
PS thanks for merging my threads

tinkerbell

Your friend might not be all that happy in her relationship - hence she's so pessimistic. Don't take what she says as gold, if you're happy, then you're happy, and don't throw away something that you're happy with.

Just because your friend is anti-relationships, doesn't mean you have to follow her like a sheep!

CathyMoran

I believe that your 20's are a period of major change - you can start off at the end of childhood and end up an adult (to the outside world at least ). While I do think that relationships can last through these changes (you can grow up together), I also feel that your early to mid 20's should be a time when you experience as many relationships as possible unless you KNOW (and you can). If you are meant for one another you will end up together, or as someone once said to me "what is meant for you will not pass you by." In the end you have to go with your heart not with your peers.

Seoige

Yeh you could be right actually Tinkerbell. Can't see how you'd be so anti-relationships while being in one unless there was something up. Interesting. Will go and burn my wooly coat !! xxx

Seoige

PS CathyMoran, think you're absolutely right. I've changed so much as a person over the last couple of years. I enjoyed a few years at college before metting Mr Seoige, but who knows what the future hold!! And I love your saying by the way!