personal issue

LegacyUser

I have never ejaculated from any kind of sexual contact with my girlfriend. The only way it has ever happened is through masturbation. She won't say anything but I know this is really hurting her, and I'm worried and confused about why this is happening. We are incredibly sexual and she gives me so much pleasure, but I can never orgasm. Does anybody have any advice?

kittenkiller

Has it happened with other girlfriends in the past?

If not, let her know that & that it's not anything she's doing or not doing for you.

Tell her not to worry bout it or take it personally.

Relax when you're messin round with her & enjoy yourself without concentating on ejaculating.
I'm sure you're having a good time when you're not concentrating on what's NOT happening.

The thing about your situation is that you've got all this time & attention to lavish on her.
Once she understands that she'll see the good side of this predicament, i'm sure.

The more you relax & enjoy yourself without any pressure, the more likely it is to happen for you.

My one caution is that if you start to believe that you CAN'T come through sexual contact & indulge in unprotected sex & you DO come, it'll probably be the last time you do cuz nerves & worries with increase ten times over if you start worrying about getting her pregnant!

Be calm, relaxed, don't be expecting it to happen, enjoy yourself & always ALWAYS protect yourself & your partner.

LegacyUser

Thank you for your advice, really, but she already knows all of that. It has happened with other girls and we both know it's me. And I know she likes getting all of the time and attention but I also know this still bothers her. I really just want to make it work for her. I was kind of hoping there were any guys out there who've maybe had a similar problem and found a solution? Or maybe found out it was an actual condition?

Thanks for your advice kittenkiller.

Oh, and we're very careful about protection. Thanks

Beruthiel

so, if you are able to cum alone then there is nothing physical wrong with you, so it must be in your head. Sounds to me like you putting to much stress and pressure on yourself. Just relax, stop thinking about it and just enjoy your time with your g/f.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Altheus

Have you ever considered masturbating to come during/after sex? Also, if you masturbate much, just stop. I sometimes have trouble coming if I've already had sex earlier that day, I dont see it as much of an issue, generally I can just 'finish myself off' or get my girlfriend to do it.

If your girlfriend is having issues, thinking maybe she's not doing something right, try mutual masturbation.

Red Alert

Maybe try and make the foreplay a little longer and maybe experiment with mutual masturbation or oral sex. Do you have sex in a 'comfortable' location, by which I mean are other housemates/family likely to be around? Try and find somewhere where it's just the two of you and you won't be bothered.

Hope it works out for ya
R>A>

Victor

Talking to a professional might be an idea, however reinforcing "sex as fun" might be more important. She can't make you orgasm at the moment, things may change.

Remember you are not a vending machine, she not allowed kick, tilt or swear at you if the 7-up doesn't come out.

LegacyUser

Mercury_Tilt wrote:

This post has been deleted.

I was actually kind of hoping to find someone who maybe had a similar experience. I don't want to go to a professional because I know it's in my head. I was just hoping maybe someone else out there had it in there head once and was able to get rid of it.

I had a look at that link but I don't think it's for me. Thank you though.

Victor

not a member wrote:

I don't want to go to a professional because I know it's in my head.

I part understand where you are coming from, but if your leg was broken, would you give the same response?

acri

the majority of sexual problems are 100% mental. meaning you just need to convince yourself theres nothing wrong. yeah, just relaxing and knowing theres nothing wrong should do the trick