Nothing to do with anything

Dr.Feelgood

Just a title to throw people off, dunno why i did that, hey i'm allowed its the net like.

Anyway there is a point to this.

Do i need a slap in the face is what i should have called this thread.

The situation:

In a very nice and happy relationship not the longest in the world but i dont want it to end & i'm pretty sure nor does she.

Going out say like 4months or whatever didnt mean to scare her, but i told her that i loved her like. And i do, she has captivated me completely!
I didnt mean it to pressure her, and i fear it might have or scared her. Kind of wishing i never said it, but i think you should say what you mean and feel especially when its your partner. Oui? Oui? Non?

Anyway was i wrong? If she backs off what do i do?
I think this young man, and by that i mean me is a very worried non mexican(hey at least i still have some humour all be it tame as ****)

Reply if you've got an opinion here.

Goodshape

Did she run away or something like that?

Some people have problems with the word love, either questioning it's sincerity or just being plain scared by the implications (a bit too close to 'commitment' maybe).

It's just a word at the end of the day. It's the feeling that matters, and if you have that I don't see a problem in saying the words.

Anyway, four months isn't really that long a time in the scheme of things. I guess you could either talk to her about it or forget it ever happened for a while, come back to that point when you're a bit more comfortable.

If you do talk to her ask her if it made her uneasy and apologise that it's just the way you feel. Don't go demanding she says the words back to you, as I said some people just have a problem with this and it could scare her off unnecessarily.

Dr.Feelgood

She didnt run away.

I think she questions the sincerity.
Which sux coz i am serious bout her.

But i can wait, i dont think it will be our downfall, i might leave it for a while before i bring it up again.

Loosing her is the absolute last thing i want. Absolute last...

I wouldnt want her to say something she doesnt mean... i want a fully honest relationship with this girl. She never really had a relationship of any substance before, i think she may be getting scared,

i can deal with that like, i can ease up on talk of feelings and just roll with the punches which is what i was doing, i just wanted to let her know how i felt.

i dont think im a criminal, am i?

Beruthiel

Dr.Feelgood wrote:

I think she questions the sincerity

she questions the sincerity because you cannot tell in 4 months if you are in love, you are in lust for sure, but love comes when you know each other very, very well and still feel the same. That can take up to a year to be sure, I would not believe anyone who said that to me after 4 months.
I would just let things slide for now, continue as before and do not say it again for maybe 4 months or so, perhaps by then she will believe you.

Dr.Feelgood

thanks for the reply yeah.

more than lust though.

Believe me whats going on inside will be staying inside until i'm sure, and i know she's sure too.

I respect her so much, dont wanna loose her.

She is well worth waiting for, one series of words can wait for her, and they will.

Thanks for the words people

I appreciate them all

koneko

Talk talk talk. It's the key.

Talk to her and tell her you're genuine, but that there's no pressure and you want her to be happy, tell her how you really feel basically.

emorgan

Its easy to say that you love somone, those words are thrown around all the time & so much so, that they have come to be meaningless. If she has any real feelings for you ( it may not be love yet, but im sure she cares for you) then she will wait around for you to show her, in your actions that you love her, not just in your words.

Dinxminx

If she's stuck around for four months, you can be sure she feels something for you as well. However what exactly it is that she feels depends on a lot. What age are you?

Also, if you ever had a conversation about love where you said you didn't believe in it/ don't believe it can happen until late in your life etc. then this could be WHY she doesn't believe you. Just speaking from personal experience, of course...

pickarooney

Don't understand the problem, or the cynical attitude that you don't know if you love some one after four months. Of course you can. However, you can't ever know that you'll love someone forever. Even if you've been with them 23 years before you decide to tell them you love them, it may change overnight. You might as well say what you feel when you feel it instead of following some silly code of etiquette about when to say what to whom.

WhiteWashMan

Dr.Feelgood wrote:

Just a title to throw people off, dunno why i did that, hey i'm allowed its the net like.

Anyway there is a point to this.

Do i need a slap in the face is what i should have called this thread.

The situation:

In a very nice and happy relationship not the longest in the world but i dont want it to end & i'm pretty sure nor does she.

Going out say like 4months or whatever didnt mean to scare her, but i told her that i loved her like. And i do, she has captivated me completely!
I didnt mean it to pressure her, and i fear it might have or scared her. Kind of wishing i never said it, but i think you should say what you mean and feel especially when its your partner. Oui? Oui? Non?

Anyway was i wrong? If she backs off what do i do?
I think this young man, and by that i mean me is a very worried non mexican(hey at least i still have some humour all be it tame as ****)

Reply if you've got an opinion here.

dude, do any of us know her?

no.

so why ask us how she would react?

my opinon?
ask her, and start acting like youre in a relationship, instead of some 13 year odl.

KlodaX

I believe you can fall in love with someone after 4 months. It happened to me... I just think you need to be sure about those 3 little words... they are so empty without meaning ... but are sometimes overwhelming with feeling ... maybe she was overwhelmed.

Adam

Beruthiel wrote:

she questions the sincerity because you cannot tell in 4 months if you are in love, you are in lust for sure, but love comes when you know each other very, very well and still feel the same. That can take up to a year to be sure, I would not believe anyone who said that to me after 4 months.
I would just let things slide for now, continue as before and do not say it again for maybe 4 months or so, perhaps by then she will believe you.

I disagree strongly. I don't feel there should ever be some kind of 'time limit' on how long it should take before you know you are in love, if it takes you that long maybe you havent met the right person yet. If that is your position you should voice your personal experience on the matter but

Beruthiel wrote:

you cannot tell in 4 months if you are in love

is an assumption based on your experiences, and nobody can give such a strong statement on the matter of love.

/rant

Blisterman

How old are you both?

r@t

most of what other people say is only relevent to their own experiences. there is no "you can't this" or you "must this" life is a different experience for everyone. my one piece of advise is- don't regret what you have done, only what you were too afraid to do.