Long time, no see

LegacyUser

Hi all,
I'm a registered person, but for reasons that you'll see, I'm not going to say who I am, or write under my regged name.

Anyway, the problem is this; a long time ago (about 2 or 3 years), I was at college, and I met a girl, sound person, but since then, I've lost contact with her(weeks turned into months, etc). Now, I'd like to get in contact with her again, but would be afraid that she'd think I have another objective (as in relationship), and also I wouldn't know how to contact her. By contact, I'd mean as in "hi". I have a web address for her, so its just the ice-breaking thingy. I was going to contact her through the web, but then I thought; its been a while, and should I just leave it? She has similair interests, and one of those people who you can go drinking with, without the need to impress, etc, so I had a good time being friends with her.

Anyway, I'd just thought I'd ask ye, as someone may have had a similair experience.

Thanks in advance,
Unknown ID

TerrorFirmer

How well exactly did you know her?

If you were good friends, it would not seem strange at all to just drop a line saying "hi", I'm sure she would be in fact happy to hear from you. However, that said, if you were not good friends but more casual friends, she might find it slightly wierd to have you contact her after all this time.

Red Alert

Yes it depends alright. How well do you know her? If she used to be one of your best friends that you saw real often, she'll probably be very chuffed to hear from you.

Victor

Sod it, go for it, say you were googling people and found her name.

Invite her for lunch.

For all you know now married with three kids, a volvo and a golden retriever. You are in no obligation territiory.

Amz

Victor wrote:

Sod it, go for it, say you were googling people and found her name.

Invite her for lunch.

Sorry, but I would be incredibly creeped out if someone did that.

I'm pretty sure a lot of people would be.

kasintahan

I mailed a girl I worked with 7/8 years ago (when we were 16/17 and hadn't so much as seen since) and she was pleased that I looked her up.

That's my frame of reference so I say go for it.

Amz

Maybe it's just because I'm imagining it from the point of view of getting such a mail from Victor.

Victor

I don't do things like that*, I hide in the bushes after dark, wearing boot polish on my face .... :eek: found out :eek:

Amz, I think you might be being over wary, assuming the OP did know this person (see "Hitch" - "Does she know you exist?"), I'm not sure what the girl has to be creeped out about.

* Although sometimes tempted.

Asok

I also think of it from the perspective of victor contacting me like that (OH LORD!)


I don't eat lunch & I don't like coffee!!

aidan_walsh

Breakfast, then?

Victor

Asok wrote:

I don't eat lunch & I don't like coffee!!

It's OK, I don't like small mammals either

Anyway, this thread isn't about me.

/me goes to corner and cries about girls bullying him on PI

LegacyUser

MobileInfantry wrote:

How well exactly did you know her?

If you were good friends, it would not seem strange at all to just drop a line saying "hi", I'm sure she would be in fact happy to hear from you. However, that said, if you were not good friends but more casual friends, she might find it slightly wierd to have you contact her after all this time.

/me logs out
Well, I suppose you could class it as casual friends. I basiclly "hung out" with her for the few months that we were in college (1st year), both in college and around the town, etc, and we met up a few times after the college thing for drinks. I suppose I'm just afraid of the "WTF are you contacting me for" look.

misswex

I say you should go for it!! One of the lads I had been friends with in school just e-mailed me out of the blue and its been great to catch up!!

Zombrex

Be prepared for it ot go not the way you think. I txted a girl at home I was with once about a year later after I got back from a year in college, just for a chat to see how she was, and the first thing she told me was that she was going out withsome (ie. don't ask I am with someone), which was slightly embarrashing for me cause she obviously assumed I was going to ask her out.

Do you know friends of hers? Would it be possible to make it a group email, and that way it doesn't look like you are targetting just her?

WhiteWashMan

Victor wrote:

It's OK, I don't like small mammals either

Anyway, this thread isn't about me.

/me goes to corner and cries about girls bullying him on PI

please stay on topic mr moderator.

LegacyUser

Wicknight wrote:

Do you know friends of hers? Would it be possible to make it a group email, and that way it doesn't look like you are targetting just her?

This does not sound like a bad idea. Thanks :cool:

Sleepy

I got an email this morning from a college mate I hadn't seen since graduation (2 years ago). It made my morning.

Different Strokes etc. What's the worst that can happen?

You could always make up a white lie as a reason to re-establish contact. Coming across an old film and getting it developed could be a good reason. You could find a photo of the two of ye, scan it in and email it to her with a "guess what I found undeveloped in the bottom of my sock drawer? How's life? aven't seen you in far too long etc."

Bottle_of_Smoke

Unknown ID wrote:

/me logs out
Well, I suppose you could class it as casual friends. I basiclly "hung out" with her for the few months that we were in college (1st year), both in college and around the town, etc, and we met up a few times after the college thing for drinks. I suppose I'm just afraid of the "WTF are you contacting me for" look.

well the whole problem is you don't run into her very often! so why would this matter???

you have any bands in common, you could snoop around the next gig they play

Kell

Unknown ID- why dont you just go with what your gut tells you, because you are going to anyway irrelevant of what we say. And dont worry about what she thinks- in the past she may have thought "that guy is such a lash" but was too afraid to admit it or even "that guy is such a jerk" who knows.

Gawd, the way people limit what they do to what other people may think of them. Ask and find out.

K-

neuro-praxis

I would not be creeped out if an old friend contacted me...and frankly, I can't understand why anyone would.

However, if you weren't really friends...then it would definitely come across as odd.

Victor, I'd be delighted to get a mail from you inviting me for lunch. My husband might be a bit peeved, though.

JackKelly

wtf.Go or it. If your afraid she will think you were contacting her for relationship reasons, than just take the offensive and be like "i just wanted to get in contact ffs.Get over yourself."Than dig her in the mouth and run.
In fairness, it's not weird at all to be contacted by an old friend. As said below though, if she wasn't that good a friend it may be strange.

CathyMoran

I really do not see any harm in getting back in contact - people can get in contact through the various schoolfriend websites and a lot of people must have googled old friends at some stage. I have lost old friends names due to loosing contact over time then found their email and sent them a mail and resumed contact sucessfully. If she does not reply leave it at that but otherwise I do not see any harm.

Nasty_Girl

Unknown ID wrote:

I'm a registered person, but for reasons that you'll see, I'm not going to say who I am, or write under my regged name.

I'm curious to why your not using your user name, is it because your "friend" is a boards user or are you just afraid we'll think you're weird!? If she is a boards user then that'd be the perfect way to get back in contact her. if not that then email her a funny chain mail, not one of those miserable good luck make a wish ones just something funny a joke or a cartoon maybe? She'll either laugh or be infuriated.

Victor

Nasty_Girl wrote:

I'm curious to why your not using your user name, is it because your "friend" is a boards user or are you just afraid we'll think you're weird!?

Everyone is entitled to use the board, anonymously if needs be, without question. Once they don't act up / break the charter, their posts will generally be approved.

Nasty_Girl

Victor wrote:

Everyone is entitled to use the board, anonymously if needs be, without question. Once they don't act up / break the charter, their posts will generally be approved.

I was only saying that if the fact he's not usin the name suggests his friend could be a boards user too and that could be a way to get back in contact.

I was only trying to offer some advice but in future I won't bother.

goin'_to_the_PS

why not

Victor

neuro-praxis wrote:

Victor, I'd be delighted to get a mail from you inviting me for lunch. My husband might be a bit peeved, though.

You are hereby invited to lunch, you can bring your husband if either of you feel insecure.

Nasty_Girl wrote:

I was only trying to offer some advice but in future I won't bother.

Apologies, I thought you were questioning motives.

neuro-praxis